“Did you meet Mr. Roarke?” my father asked.
I flinched.
“Rumor is that he has Parkinson’s,” my mother said.
I shook my head. “No, he wasn’t there.” Was that why Devin was back? Was his father retiring?
“I wonder who’s going to take over?” my father asked. “The son is in Europe, right? Do you think the daughter will run it?”
Why my parents cared, I had no idea. “The son is back,” I said before I couldn’t think better of it.
“Oh. Was he there?” My mother stopped mid-forkful of spaghetti. “He’s a looker.”
I rolled my eyes. “He was there.” Then I turned to Andrew. “Don’t forget to eat your green beans.”
“I will,” Andrew said, giving me an annoyed glance.
“Is he a looker?” my mother asked.
“Yes.” I focused on my dinner, twirling my noodles on my fork.
“He’s rich and single, too.”
My father laughed. “In ten minutes, she’s going to have you married to the kid.”
I swallowed. “I don’t need to be married to be happy. Andrew and I do just fine.”
“Well of course you do, honey.” My mother patted my hand. “But life is so much better when you share it with your soulmate.”
“Devin isn’t my soulmate.”
“Devin?” My father’s gaze jerked to mine. “You call him Devin?”
Ugh! “That’s his name, isn’t it? Regardless. Don’t be getting Cinderella ideas, mom.”
“You should be open to dating though, honey.”
“Leave her be,” my father said to my mother. “She’s still young and she needs to be picky. Not just any man can take over father responsibilities to young Andrew.”
“True.” My mother nodded in agreement. “You need to choose someone responsible and who would love him like a son.”
I was reminded why more often than not I didn’t stay for dinner. Inevitably, it ended up with talk about how I needed a life partner.
After dinner, Andrew and I headed up to our own place. I gave him a bath and then we read his airplane book.
“When I grow up, I want to fly airplanes,” he said as I closed the book and set it on the tiny bedside table in his little nook.
“You can grow up to do anything you want,” I said, vowing to give him the opportunities to pursue his dreams.
“You can come with me,” he said, scooting down under his covers.
“I can’t wait. Where will we go?”
His brow furrowed in thought. “Disneyland?”
I laughed. “That sounds like fun. I’ve never been there. You know there are a few of them.”
“Really?” His blue-green eyes widened.
“One in California and one in Florida. I even think there are some in other countries.”
“We can go to them all,” he said.
I laughed. “It’s a date.”
His brows furrowed again. “Am I getting a daddy?”
It took me a minute to switch gears. “What?”
“Grandma and Grandpa said you needed to find me a daddy.”
That wasn’t exactly what they said, although I suppose that’s what they meant. “There’s no one right now to be your daddy.”
His expression faltered slightly.
“Do you want a daddy?” I asked, wondering if not having a father was a problem for him.
“Other people have daddies and I don’t. I don’t think mine likes me.”
Oh God. Guilt ripped through me. “That’s not true, baby. He doesn’t know you.”
“Why not?”
I supposed I knew this conversation would happen someday; I just wasn’t planning on today. Or anytime soon.
“He had to go away before you were born. I wasn’t able to tell him about you.”
“You didn’t have a phone?”
I closed my eyes as fear and sadness and guilt wreaked havoc inside me. “It’s complicated. What you need to know is that you’re loved by so many people. Your grandpa was a great dad to me, and he’s sort of like that for you.”
“I’d still like my own daddy.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. “For now, you need to sleep.”
Once Andrew was settled into bed, I immediately poured myself a glass of wine, and drank it as I did my evening routine, which consisted of cleaning up, preparing for the next day, and then settling down to watch Netflix or read. But all I could think about was Devin, and my son asking for a daddy. It was wrong on so many levels to keep Andrew away from Devin, but that had been his mother’s doing. And now, five years later, it was too late, wasn’t it?
I thought back to our meeting today. I was surprised that after all this time he was interested in knowing why I hadn’t run off with him. A guy like Devin, who could have any woman he wanted and probably did over the last five years, wouldn’t remember a short fling with me. But he did. And he seemed annoyed that I hadn’t run off with him. Or at least annoyed that I was putting the blame on him.
I wondered what he’d do if I told him his mother had visited me and told me not to go. If he knew she’d told me about his lady friends? What would he think if I confessed that Andrew was his but that he didn’t know because his mother kept me from telling him? She even offered me money.
It was that act that had made me more committed than ever to keep Andrew from them. What sort of woman would pay off the mother of her grandchild to keep her away? My son didn’t need to be a part of any family like that.
I finished my wine, and considered having another, but knew it wouldn’t stop the emotional torment. So I washed my glass and then headed to bed.
When Devin first left
