“It’s not like that,” my father said, pouring himself a shot of bourbon with a bit of water. “But it’s high time you get serious about your life.”
“First, I’m serious about my work, you know it’s true. Second, what I do out of work isn’t any of your business.”
“We have a family name to protect,” my mother said. “You don’t seem to realize your playboy ways have consequences.”
I didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. “So the family name is more important than my happiness?”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course not, but you and Evie—”
“We’re friends. She doesn’t want to marry me.”
“She’ll come around—”
“She’ll be miserable and I would be too. Is that what you want? Why is it misery and infidelity are okay with your antiquated aristocrat ways, but marrying for love and happiness isn’t. This is all bullshit.”
“Watch your mouth and tone, son,” my father warned.
I held my hands up. “I’m not marrying Evie. I’ll pack my things and move out now. I’ll let Bri know that she’s the family’s last hope at maintaining the Roarke legacy.”
“Stop being so melodramatic,” my father shook his head as he looked from me to my mother. “No one is disowning you, Devin. Really, Katherine, you need to let this thing with Evelyn go. There are plenty of other suitable women out there.”
She sucked in a breath, but before she could respond, my father turned his attention to me. “And you need to stop playing playboy businessman and get serious. You want to be the big man? Then start focusing on the Roarke business and give up all this club nonsense.”
I glanced at my mother and knew she wasn’t going to give in on the Evie marriage. I knew I wasn’t going to give in on the clubs. They were successful, and catered to the next generation of Roarke customers.
“I’m going to Paris. When I get back, I’m moving into my own place and working with Bri on a new club, while simultaneously managing current Roarke properties. I did it in Europe, I can do it here. If you don’t like it, fire me now.” I waited for a second, my breath stuck in my chest as I wondered if my father would call me on my ultimatum.
“You can’t just—”
“We’ll talk when you get back,” my father said, interrupting my mother.
I nodded and turned to leave.
“He’s still young, Katherine. He can still come around if we don’t force him into a corner.” I heard my father say as I left the room.
I shook my head knowing I’d never come around. I went upstairs to pack for Europe. I checked on Bri but she wasn’t in her room. She was lucky to be born second. Perhaps being a girl helped too considering how antiquated my parents’ thinking was. I hoped to hell I wouldn’t put my family through all this old-world traditional bullshit. Then I remembered I wasn’t going to have a family. Problem solved.
11
Serena
I did the right thing by completely cutting Devin from my life, but that didn’t mean that I liked it. Each time he’d called or texted over the next week, I got annoyed wishing he’d get the message and stop. Then he did stop, and now I was annoyed and hurt that he wasn’t trying to get in touch with me. I was an idiot.
Ultimately, I had to accept that while I wished it could be different, the situation now was the best for all of us. I needed to focus on keeping Andrew safe from Devin’s family, even as it felt more wrong than before to do so.
All I had to do was stay away from Devin and my life could go back to how it was before. Well, maybe not exactly as before, but pre-Devin returning, I didn’t think of him as much as I did now. And he didn’t appear in my dreams as much either.
Letting Devin touch me again also ruined my private moments of self-gratification. It just felt so much better when he was touching me than me touching myself. I wondered if a toy would help me with that? Or maybe I could meet a new man. But even as I thought it, I knew that wasn’t the answer. It seemed unlikely I’d meet someone who got to me the way Devin did. And if I did, I’d probably feel guilty about it, which made no sense. I wouldn’t be cheating on him, and yet the idea of being with another man felt like a betrayal.
I scoffed at myself. “Clearly he doesn’t feel the same.” I couldn’t get the vision of him escorting his friend Evie into a private room at his parents’ party or of his sister telling me they were engaged and probably fucking. I thought I’d been smart with my heart this time around, but clearly, I hadn’t been because it felt like it had been stomped on.
“Mommy? Can we go to the airport? I want to see the airplanes.” Andrew sat at the kitchen table eating his breakfast.
“Maybe this weekend,” I said, happy for the distraction. “I don’t have to work this weekend so we can do something fun.”
“Can we ride in one?”
“I don’t think we can do that,” I said.
“Did you know that rich people have their own airplanes? That’s what I want when I grow up; to be rich and have my own airplane.”
Another wave of guilt rolled through me. Andrew was rich. The chances seemed pretty good that the Roarke family owned an airplane. It didn’t happen often, but on occasion, like now, I realized that there were things Devin could offer Andrew that I couldn’t. The money yes, but I meant beyond the money. Experiences. Like riding in an airplane.
“You’ll have to work hard and do well
