“He’ll be fine, Serena.”
I nodded. “Yes. Of course. If you have any questions or—”
“If there’s a problem I’ll call.”
I’d reached the bottom of the steps when I heard Devin say, “Andrew wait just a minute. I want to ask your mom something.”
I turned as Devin came to me. “Why didn’t you take the money?”
“What?”
“When my mother offered you the money, why didn’t you take it?”
I couldn’t imagine why it mattered. “The first time it was—”
“The first time?” He set his hands on his hips and frowned.
“Yes, she offered me money to soothe the pain of losing you, I guess. It sounded like I wasn’t the first one she’d had to soothe.”
He was shaking his head, but I wasn’t sure if it was at me or at his mother.
“I didn’t take it that time because I was pissed at being dumb enough to fall for you, when I should have known you were just being a player.”
“That’s not true. I cared for you.”
I shrugged. “The second time, I was so offended by her that I vowed I’d never take anything from the Roarke family.” I worked to bite back the words I wanted to use to describe his mother. “I accept full responsibility for your pain. But she was ready to let you go through life not knowing you had a son, too. In fact, she was ready to pay money to ensure you never knew. Once she made the offer, I knew I didn’t want my child anywhere near a woman who’d do that to her own child and grandchild.” Worried I’d gone too far, I looked down and took a breath. Once I felt stable, I looked at him again. “I know you can give him more things, Devin. And I know you care for him—”
“I love him.”
“I’m glad, because he needs that more than things or stuff or a reputation in an elite family.”
He glared. “You have some nerve to judge me.”
“Not you. Your mother and I made this bed. And I get that you can’t walk away from family like you can walk away from me. But you asked me why I didn’t take the money. Why I wanted to keep Andrew from you. She’s a large reason why.”
“You were wrong.”
“I was wrong to keep him from you. Absolutely, but I’m going to be honest with you Devin, I’m scared to death of what your mother might say or do to Andrew.”
His jaw tightened but he didn’t defend her. “I won’t let anyone hurt him.”
I tried to smile because this was going to be my life from now on. Me and Devin trying to be civil while co-parenting Andrew.
“You should probably get back to him. He’s a good boy, but he is four and likes to explore.”
“One more thing,” he said as I turned to leave.
“I want him to take my name.”
It was a fair request and yet the timing was such that I felt like he was purposefully trying to hurt me. I nodded my agreement and then started up the street since I hadn’t asked the car to stay. I’d get a block away and then decide what to do next. I didn’t have to work. I didn’t have to be with my son. I didn’t want to be at home or with my parents. What was there to do for a sad lonely woman in New York City?
26
Devin
I trotted back inside, pushing aside the idea that mother twice interfered with my relationship with Serena. Serena was wrong to keep Andrew from me, but I couldn’t deny that it would be impossible for her to go up against my mother. Serena was right, my mother was a part of keeping Andrew from me.
“Andrew?” I called when I entered the foyer but didn’t see him. Oh shit, had I fucked up already.
“You looking for this guy?” my sister said, at the top of the stairs that went to the main floor. “I found him exploring. You should probably deter him from that. The monster won’t like it.”
Andrew’s eyes widened. “There’s a monster.”
“Jesus, Bri, don’t scare him. There’s no monster,” I said, taking the steps up two-by-two.
“Mother. I meant mother.” She smirked at me. “Breakfast is ready.”
“Give me a minute.”
She bent down and looked at Andrew. “If he gets too boring, you come see your Auntie Bri, okay?”
He nodded. “Okay.”
She headed toward the dining room.
“It probably is best if you don't explore alone,” I said. “You can with me or Bri.” When I reached him, I squatted down to his level. “Did you have breakfast?”
His head bobbed up and down. “Toast and peanut butter.”
“For breakfast?” Was that a real breakfast?
“It has protein. Mommy says I need protein in the morning for my brain.” He pointed to his head.
“What about eggs?”
He squished up his face. “Yuck.”
“Pancakes?”
“I like pancakes but those are only for the weekend. Is it the weekend?”
“Yes. I’ve got pancakes for you this morning, if you’re hungry.”
He shrugged.
“Come on.” I took his hand and led him to the dining room. I inhaled a breath and second-guessed the wisdom of introducing him to my parents so soon. Maybe I should have taken him to my place.
We stepped into the entryway. Only Bri was there. I had a moment to regather my wits.
“How many people are in your family?” Andrew asked as he looked into the room.
“Four. Five including you.”
“Why do you have such a big table then?”
“He is brilliant,” Bri said as she poured herself coffee from the buffet.
“I don’t know,” I answered him. “Here, sit next to me.”
He climbed into the seat, but he was too short to adequately reach the table.
He maneuvered onto his knees. “I didn’t bring my booster.”
“I’ll get you one later,” I said. I hadn’t even thought about what he might need. Jesus, I was fucking up this father
