“That’s the sort of news I’ll always take time to hear.”
He set a stack of papers on the worktable in my office. “We have some prototype work I can show you if you like,” he said putting his laptop on the table too. “You’ll want to file for intellectual property protection.”
Cha-ching, sounded in my ears.
I sat next to Kyle and listened as he walked through the new system. Excited about the development, I asked him to show me the prototype on his computer.
“Excellent work, Kyle. Tell the team that for me, would you?” I said when he finished.
“Already have.”
I stood up and grabbed my coat. “Do you have plans for this weekend?”
“Trolling for love, as usual.” He grinned. Another single man who didn’t have a care in the world, except getting laid.
I couldn’t remember the last time I got laid. My sexual release now came in the shower with the help of my hand.
I walked with Kyle to the open area outside my office. My secretary, Johanna was gone for the day.
I frowned and checked my watch. It was nearly seven. Fuck. I’d missed dinner. By the time I made it through Seattle traffic to my home, the kids would probably be in bed.
Ah well. Today would be like most other days. I drove from my office east towards Madison Park on the shores of Lake Washington. By the time I was forty, my goal was to make it across the lake to live in Medina, where the likes of Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates lived. I wasn’t there yet, but at thirty-four, I had a few years left to work on it.
The house was quiet as I entered. I went to the fridge to find a beer. A dinner plate covered in plastic wrap waited for me, as well. On it was a crayon written note from my six-year old daughter, Lanie. “I love you daddy,” it said. I sighed. At least someone loved me. I wasn’t so sure Terra did anymore.
I put the plate in the microwave and then headed up the hall to Lanie’s room. She was sound asleep in her bed. I watched her for a moment, marveling at the miracle of her. When she was born, Terra and I were still living and loving intensely. Somehow, over the last few years, all that had fizzled away. But the love for my kids was fierce. It was what had me striving to work to give them every opportunity.
I bent over Lanie and kissed her on the forehead. “Goodnight baby.”
I left her room and went across the hall to Noah, my four-year-old son’s room. Inside, he was sleeping too, with Terra laying next to him. She was asleep as well. It was rare to see her relaxed, and so I took a moment to look upon her.
When I’d met Terra, I fell hard and fast almost immediately. It wasn’t just her beauty or her sexy body that had me, but her intelligence, wit, and humor. She was a strong woman with a drive to achieve like me. And boy did we achieve. At least in business. The marriage was struggling, but I was at a loss as to what to do about it. I could see she was unhappy.
I wondered why I found her so often laying with Noah. Was he having trouble going to sleep? Did he have nightmares? The fact that I didn’t know suggested I wasn’t being a very good father. Then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was here because she didn’t want to be with me. It wasn’t just that she was unhappy, it was that she seemed to resent me. But what could I do about it?
I ate my dinner alone as usual, and then went to bed, also alone as usual. I lay with my arm under my head staring up at the ceiling. I’d achieved my dream. But I was finding it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. I didn’t understand how things had gone off track. Terra and I started the company together. It had been her dream too. So had marriage, the nice house, and the kids. We got what we wanted and were miserable.
I tried to remember the last time I’d seen her smile. Actually, that wasn’t too hard because she often smiled at the kids. But not with me. We didn’t fight a lot, but that was probably because we didn’t talk to each other a lot. I suppose much of that was my fault for working, but my work was what fulfilled our dreams.
When we did talk, it was mostly over logistics, like Noah’s soccer practice or Lanie’s gymnastics. It hadn’t always been like that. In the beginning, we talked about anything and everything. Hell, we’d talked during sex even. Dirty talk that had us both coming so hard. Now we didn’t have sex, and when we did, it was quick, quiet, and not very satisfactory. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive, because she was. Yes, she wasn’t as put together as she used to be and she carried more weight, but to be honest, I liked the curves. If she was into me, I think I’d have enjoyed really savoring her luscious body. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t enjoy sex anymore, and so to save us both from the discomfort, I’d relegated my sexual desire to the shower where I jerked off several times a week.
I sighed and rolled onto my side. Perhaps it was just time to accept that this was my life. I’d heard other men talking about their lives and knew that they too found the everydayness of married life lacking in excitement. Perhaps that was just how life was.
2 Terra
I woke to an elbow in my face. I looked at Noah, sleeping peacefully next to
