“Mom.” My throat fills, along with my eyes.
“Happy early birthday.” She watches me expectantly.
I know I’m supposed to scream with joy like those people on the radio who win concert tickets. But all I can think of is that next September I could be at ASU. In the broadcasting program.
“It’s too much, Mom. It’s too expensive. And you love the trade show.”
Her smile fades. “I thought you’d be excited.”
“I am. It’s just…” Oh shit. While I’ve been making plans, so has she. “I have to tell you something. I really, really don’t know how.”
Her eyes fill with panic. “Are you sick? Are you pregnant?”
“No! God, it’s nothing like that.” I take a breath. “It’s just that I’m not sure anymore.”
“Sure of what?”
I stare at the computer screen. At the dashboard for the website of Melissa and Josie Walters, AromaTher Proprietors.
The laptop closes with a snick. Mom’s fingers press into the metallic cover. “Not sure about the business?”
“I’ve been thinking I might want to try something different. You know. Before I go right into it.”
“Something different?” Each syllable is painfully enunciated. “We have a meeting with the lawyer in ten days. When were you going to tell me this?”
“It’s not for sure. It’s something we’ve been talking about.”
“We?” Her eyes widen. “Oh my God. This is about Garrett, isn’t it? The baseball player.”
“He’s not a player. He wants to go into broadcasting.”
“What does that have to do with you?”
I swallow, knowing there’s no good way to say this. “I might want to go into broadcasting, too.”
Her mouth falls open. “You’re going to follow him? After six weeks in a high school booth? Without knowing anything about the profession? Without any research? You just suddenly think you might like it? Do you hear how crazy that sounds? And you of all people.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means you know the danger of following. Blindly.” Her words sting. “More than that, you make reasoned decisions. You’re practical. Grounded. You don’t take crazy risks.”
“Or any risk,” I mutter.
Lines deepen across her forehead. “Suddenly risk is good? Is that what you learned from your baseball player? After everything you went through with your father, that’s who you’re going to listen to?”
“Should I listen to you? You’re more afraid than I am. You broke up with a great guy because you were afraid to take a chance, and now you’re miserable.”
“Because I let it get too far. In the long run, I made the right choice. Can you say the same thing?” She slaps her hand on the counter. “You’re going to change your life for a boy who will never do anything but disappoint you.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I know he’s no good for you. You’ve been dating for a month and already he’s turned you into a liar.”
“I haven’t been lying!” My voice shakes, but I won’t back down. “I knew you would react like this, so I just didn’t tell you yet. And also, I was giving it time, seeing if it’s something I might really want to do. You always said if there was something else I wanted—”
“Yes! Something you wanted. Not something you want to do to hold on to a boy.”
“Never mind,” I snap. “It doesn’t matter what I say. You were never going to like him.”
She grabs her laptop and shoves it into her shoulder bag. “How would we know? I’ve never even met him. If he’s such a good guy, why have I never met him?”
A knot the size of a baseball lodges in my throat. “Because I knew you’d be like this.”
“Concerned?” she says. “Worried? Scared out of my mind? Yeah, Josie. I am.”
“You should be happy for me. Because I have a chance to do something that maybe I’ll love. I don’t have to be trapped in this business with you.”
“Trapped?”
Even as she repeats the word, I want to take it back.
“You feel trapped?” Her eyes glimmer with hurt.
“I didn’t mean that.”
She stares at me, the word still echoing between us.
“Mom!”
With sharp, jerky motions, she pulls her pack over her shoulder and grabs the box with the neatly packed sample bags. When I move to take it from her, she shakes her head. “No. I’ll handle this one on my own. You stay here. You think about what you want.” She stops at the door and turns back. “We’ll cancel our plans until you’re sure. A partnership requires two people who are committed. You think about that, too.”
I listen to the sounds of her leaving. The door slamming. The truck door. The whirl of the garage door and the final thud when it closes behind her.
What am I doing? What am I risking? And for what? I think about what Mom said—about requiring two people who are committed. And she’s right.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
It takes me eighteen minutes to walk to Garrett’s house.
I’m relieved when it’s Garrett who opens the door. Emotions flicker across his face. Surprise. Happiness. As he gets a closer look at my face, worry.
“What are we doing?” I blurt before he can say anything.
He opens the door wider, and I can see him looking over my shoulder. Probably for the truck. “Did something happen? I thought you had a demonstration party?” He reaches for my hand and pulls me inside.
“What are we doing, Garrett?” I repeat.
“Let’s go to the TV room.”
I suddenly think of his mom. “Is your mom here?”
“At the store.”
I nod, glad I won’t have to make small talk, and follow him to the room with the big TV and soft leather couch.
“What happened?”
He sits on the couch, but I can’t. I start pacing. “I told my mom.”
“And?”
“We had a fight. She’s putting our partnership on hold. I’m risking everything I’ve planned for, and you’re still working on your pitching. Your heart is
