My eyes feel full. My throat is so thick with emotion that I have to swallow twice before I whisper, “I kind of love you, Blondie.”
He pulls back until our eyes meet, and everything I’m feeling is reflected in the shiny blue of his gaze. “Yeah?” His smile breaks my heart.
“Way too much.”
He brushes his lips over mine.
I brush my lips over his.
Soft, patient kisses. The kind you give when you know there are going to be more. A lot more.
“Garrett!” There’s a pounding on the door. “You’re putting on a nice show, but people are here to watch baseball. You ready with the national anthem?”
He curses under his breath as I flush and pull back. “One second.”
Cheers come from the crowd as he takes out the soundboard and I turn on his laptop. It only takes a minute for him to cue up the recording. As it begins, we stand side by side, hands over our hearts.
Mine finally has everything it wants.
Chapter Fifty
It’s dark—after midnight—and there’s no one here but the stars and us.
“I can’t believe it,” I whisper. “I’m starting my life as a high school graduate by breaking the law.”
“It’s only a crime if you get caught.” Garrett says this as he’s perched on the outside of the broadcast booth, his feet balanced on the metal rungs of the bleacher support, one hand gripping the side of the wall and the other trying to shove in the Plexiglas covering the window. Turns out that’s how they protect the booth during the five days it rains in Phoenix. With a sheet of Plexiglas that must be screwed in from the inside.
“Enough, Blondie,” I say. “You’re going to break your other arm, and then how are you going to play?”
Just then, the Plexiglas caves, clattering as loudly as a bag of metal bats. I wince and search the baseball field expecting to find a security guard. But all I see in the weak moonlight are discarded maroon caps, strips of gold confetti, and empty beer bottles. It’s hard to believe that a few hours ago, we were marching across the football field accepting our diplomas.
The door of the booth opens, and Garrett grins, a streak of dirt across his chin. “No problem for a finely toned athlete like me.”
“I think the actual phrase is finely honed.”
“That too.” He gestures to the counter and I follow his lead, sitting on the linoleum and then swinging my legs so they dangle out the window.
“What a night, huh?” Garrett says.
“It was pretty perfect.”
The strains of “Pomp and Circumstance” are still floating through my head. The feel of the plasticky gown and the indent that might still be on my forehead from the elastic around the cap. Walters is a terrible last name for a processional, and all I could see were the backs of everyone’s head. Once I got to my seat, I first searched the stands to find Mom. James was sitting beside her, trying to capture it all on his video camera. Mom has been so happy since they got back together. She’s even concocted a new fragrance for him that includes clary sage—an essential oil for optimism.
From there, I searched the rows for all my friends. I was like Javier at the bookstore—I wanted to be sure everyone was in their place. Cooper, Tucker, Anthony—proud members of Cholla’s State Champion baseball team. Avi and Jasmine. And of course Garrett, who draws my attention no matter where he is.
I didn’t have to search for Mai because she was up on the stage.
“You’re not sorry to miss Lock In?” Garrett asks, bringing me back to the present.
Seniors had the option of spending the night at Alleys, an indoor theme park, where chaperones would monitor the grads and once the doors were closed no one would be allowed in or out. Mai and I had talked about going, but Jason decided to have a party at his house. We’d all gone, including Jasmine and Avi, and when we got there it turned out to be an even bigger group than I expected. There were band kids and some of the football guys and Scottie was there along with a few friends of his I knew from math lab. I loved seeing the groups mix in a way they rarely had in the halls of Cholla. If this was how the real world worked, I was going to like it a lot more.
Just before midnight, Garrett had led me from the party and to his car. I wasn’t surprised when we ended up here.
Where it all began.
“And to think it all happened because of a game of pool chicken.”
Garrett smiles. He’s heard the story of spring break and the pool where Anthony and Mai met.
“She gave a great speech,” he says. “I knew she was smart. I didn’t know she was so wise.”
“Wise? She told everyone she didn’t have the answers.”
Garrett reaches for my hand. “I liked the Henry David Thoreau part. It was simple but genius.”
I nod. Mai started with a quote most of us had heard: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.” Then she called it bullcrap. She said few of us were confident, few of us had real direction, and not everyone had the luxury of following a dream. But she finished by saying that Thoreau got one word right: “Go.” That’s the trick. Forward movement. You can’t take a next step until you take the first one.
“I’m going to miss her so much,” I say.
A moment of quiet passes, and I know we’re both thinking that Garrett is leaving, too. I squeeze his fingers. He couldn’t quite honor his promise not to go anywhere, but he got pretty
