Enough whining, Bradshaw. This isn’t helping.
She drew in as much air as her bruised ribs would allow and forced the negative thoughts away. As she did, Olivia noticed that, like before, Jake was being careful not to let his full weight press down against hers. Given their current position, however, contact with his lower body was unavoidable.
It was impossible to miss exactly how lean and hard those muscles were. And he was definitely hard. Everywhere.
Olivia did her best to pretend she hadn’t noticed. She understood that it was just his body’s natural reaction to a major adrenaline rush.
Any other time, ignoring something like that—especially with this man—would have been a major feat. But given that her head was pounding, her ribs ached with every breath, and her feet were sore as hell, she found it surprisingly easy.
Jake stiffened, and she could feel his muscles become tense. Olivia’s thoughts returned to where they were and why they were here. Her mind became a chaotic mess of terrifying realizations.
She and Jake were hiding because some very bad men wanted to kill them. He was literally risking his life for her because she’d been a coward and hadn’t fought back when she should have. She’d done nothing to try to help Malani and the others, and they’d been slaughtered because of it.
One member of Jake’s team had already been wounded while trying to save her. Trevor could be hurt right now. Jake could die. All because of me.
Her breathing increased, and she closed her eyes again to help regain some composure. She loved Jake more than anything. Always would.
He was a warrior, courageous and honorable. Everything she wasn’t. That particular realization was utterly soul crushing because, in that moment, Olivia knew she would never be good enough for someone like him.
Looking back up at Jake, she found him completely focused on keeping her safe. Suddenly, Olivia was filled with an overwhelming sense of unworthiness.
For as long as she could remember, she’d wanted Jake. More than anyone or anything. And in a matter of seconds, that all changed.
Watching him, now...knowing he was willing to die to protect her, Olivia wanted nothing more than to get as far away from him as she possibly could. Those other men wanted her, not Jake.
She needed to get away from him. Somehow distract the men who were chasing them. Then, she could take the target off Jake’s back and put it onto to hers where it belonged. She could—
“Don’t. Even. Think it.”
Jake’s words were whispered so low, Olivia thought she’d imagined them. When she found his beautiful, narrowed eyes with their knowing glare staring back down at her, she knew she hadn’t. How does he do that?
Jake always seemed to know what she was thinking. Almost as if he had a sixth sense or something. It was fascinating and, to be perfectly honest, sometimes a little creepy.
As the logical part of her brain finally decided to join the party, Olivia understood that he was right. If she moved now, she’d be putting him in even more danger than he was already in.
At his core, Jake was a protector. If she tried to get free and leave him behind, he’d do everything in his power to stop her. The struggle would give away their position and Jake could be hurt, or God, even worse. Those images had her closing her eyes again and turning away. I’m so not worth the risks he’s taking.
Those damning thoughts hit her again and again, and Olivia was still mentally kicking her own ass when something smooth touched her face. Snapping her out of the brutal self-evaluation, Jake’s gloved fingers found her chin, turning her head so she was looking back up at him.
The angry glare was gone and his expression had softened. He began to lean in even closer, and...Holy crap! Was he going to kiss her? Here? Now?
When his lips began to move, Olivia instantly realized her mistake. Jake wasn’t trying to kiss her. He was mouthing the words, “Don’t move.”
Before she could process her embarrassing misinterpretation of his intentions, he was moving away in a crouched position. Olivia followed his order, and didn’t move a muscle.
It was hard, especially when he left the bush’s protection. She could no longer see him, but stayed like that, stock-still and barely breathing, for what seemed like an eternity. Until...
A single gunshot echoed throughout the green hell surrounding her, making her entire body jolt as if she’d been shocked. The sound was much closer than the rat-a-tat-tats she could still hear coming from the camp, and Olivia was immediately thrown back to that horrific day two weeks ago.
The gunshots. The blood. Their lifeless faces. Only this time it wasn’t Malani’s dead eyes staring at her. It was Jake’s.
Jake!
All thoughts of self-preservation gone, Olivia got up and scrambled around the bush. Her only goal was to get to Jake. All she could think about was trying to help him.
Her heart pounded. Blood rushed past her ears. She looked around as she ran, but saw nothing but more trees and shrubs. Stopping near one of the smaller trees, she spun around in circles looking for him, but Jake was nowhere to be seen.
Her stomach sank. Was he hurt? Dead? Oh, God! Breathing so fast she was on the verge of hyperventilating, Olivia took a risk and whispered loudly.
“Jake?” Terrified, a steady stream of sweat ran down her back and another between her breasts as she waited a beat. Nothing. She tried again. “Jake!”
Spinning in another full circle, her long, slick hair stuck to her face as her mind whirled with even more fear and worry. There was no sign of him anywhere. Not knowing what to do next, she kept standing there, trying to think. That’s when it happened.
Olivia heard the explosion before she felt it. It was the loudest sound she’d ever heard. When the ground began to shake a few seconds later, she lost her balance and fell to her hands and knees.
Birds she
