Jake whispered against her head, hoping to put her unconscious mind at ease. “Shh, It’s okay, sweetheart. You’re okay.” Her grip only grew tighter, her breathing faster.
“Please...d-don’t.” This time, her words were clearer, and she shook her head against his chest.
A vice squeezed his heart as he watched helplessly. She’d had plenty of nightmares after Mike’s funeral, but hearing her talk about it and seeing her in the middle of one were two very different things.
In years past, she would occasionally call him to talk about the bad dreams she had about her brother’s death. Him, of all people. And jackass that he was, Jake always acted as innocent as she believed him to be. By the time they hung up, Liv always seemed better, and Jake inevitably felt worse.
He should have told her the truth about Mike back then. Should have told her a hundred times since. But he was too much of a selfish prick.
“No,” Olivia said again, her movements becoming more forceful. It tore him to his soul to know that she’d seen and experienced things so horrific, they now invaded her dreams.
When she continued to fight against demons he couldn’t see, Jake lightly shook her and spoke a little louder. “Olivia, wake up.”
She whimpered as her sleep-heavy arms ineffectively pushed against him.
Jake sat up straighter, moving her body with his. Taking her shoulders into his hands, he carefully pushed her away from his chest, forcing her to sit up. Her head hung forward, her hair a curtain shrouding her face. “Come on, baby.” He shook her again. “Wake up.”
Her eyes flew open, stark terror filling her face. She was looking right at him, but it wasn’t his face she was seeing.
Olivia continued to struggle. She turned and twisted her arms, trying to break free. Jake kept hold of her for fear she’d take off running, and accidentally hurt herself.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t do this. I tried...I tried to save him.”
Jesus, she thinks I’m Cetro.
It was still dark out, but he saw the tears trailing down her face, each one taking a piece of Jake’s heart as it fell. He risked gripping her arms a little tighter and spoke in a deep, commanding voice.
“Liv, wake up. It’s me, Jake. No one’s going to hurt you.”
“P...please.” She barely got the word out, as if she were choking now.
He looked down at her chest. Shit! He had to end this. Now.
“Olivia!” Jake yelled, shaking her so hard her head flung back. Her wild hair flew into her face, but she still wasn’t responding. “Breathe, goddammit!” He shook her again. “Fucking breathe!”
Her body jerked in response. Olivia gasped, coughing as she tried to control her breathing.
Jake blew out his own breath and loosened his grip, his hands gently began rubbing the tops of her arms. “You’re okay, Liv. Everything’s okay. It was just a bad dream.”
With blinking eyes and a heaving chest, Olivia touched her throat as she took in the dark scene around them. When her wide eyes snapped back up to his, her unnecessary embarrassment was obvious.
“I...I’m sorry.” She tried to look away again, but he wasn’t about to let that happen.
With both hands, Jake gently wiped the tears from her face and whispered, “Look at me.” Of course, the stubborn woman didn’t move. “Baby, look at me.”
Slowly, she raised her head. The tears still filling her eyes made him want to shove his fist into Cetro’s chest and rip the fucker’s heart out.
“You have nothing to apologize for. Anyone would have nightmares after going through what you did.” After a few more seconds, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
She shook her head as best she could with his hands still holding it. Jake looked at her with conviction. “He will never touch you again.”
In a surprising move, Olivia abruptly pulled herself free from his grasp, and took a few steps back. Jake immediately missed the contact, but gave her the space she needed.
After inhaling and exhaling slowly a few times, she composed herself and asked, “Do you ever have nightmares?”
Jake answered honestly, “Yes.”
“About what?”
He knew what she was doing. Liv didn’t want to talk about her dream, so she was deflecting the topic of conversation onto him. He hated that she felt the need to do so, but if it helped, Jake would talk about any damn thing she wanted.
He sat back down against the tree, and thankfully, Olivia followed his lead. She didn’t go back into his arms, and he ignored the disappointment that caused. She didn’t need to hear about all of the gruesome things he sometimes saw when he closed his eyes at night, so he kept his answer vague.
“Sometimes, I dream about things I saw when I was still in the military. Ops that didn’t go exactly as planned. That sort of thing.”
She turned so she was facing him more, her shoulder leaning up against the rough bark. “You ever dream about Mikey?”
A knot instantly formed in his gut. “Used to. Not so much anymore.” A sad look came over her, and he couldn’t help but ask. “Do you?”
She lifted her other shoulder. “Sometimes. Not as often, either.” She settled back again, her head tilted up toward the jungle’s canopy of limbs and leaves. “God, I miss him.”
Fuck. He’d thought he’d be okay talking about anything she wanted, but shit. He did not want to talk about her brother.
“I always wonder what Mikey would be doing now, if he hadn’t died.” She looked over at him with half a smile. “I bet he’d be working with you.”
Jake forced one of his own. “Maybe.” He could see her wheels turning, and was relieved as hell when she changed the subject.
“Tell me about your team. What exactly do you do?” Then, she added, “The truth.”
Jake had never wanted her to know. For years, he’d lied to her about it. About
