Thoroughly confused, Jake said, “Sweetheart, I don’t understand. What do you mean, you froze?”
She let out a devastating sigh, her shoulders sagging as her arms fell limply to her sides. Jake had never seen her so defeated. The pain and sorrow painted across her face gutted him.
He wanted to pull her into his arms and tell her she didn’t have to say another goddamn word. Despite his earlier conviction, Jake suddenly wanted to give her every platitude he could think of. Do whatever he could to end her pain.
Before he could say anything more, Olivia finally began sharing what happened that fateful day.
“When those men came to our camp and started shooting, I...I couldn't move. The men and women who were killed...they were such good and caring people, Jake.” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “And those m-men who came? Those monsters executed them as if they were nothing.” Her voice broke before turning into a shamed whisper. “And I did nothing to try to stop it.”
She's breaking my heart.
Survivor’s guilt was a sadistic fucking bitch, and Jake wished like hell he could somehow take it all away for her. Now that she was finally talking, however, it was as if a dam had broken. Everything came pouring out.
“We were just sitting there, waiting for the bus to pick us up and take us to the airport.”
Olivia’s mouth turned up a little at that part of the memory. She looked past his shoulder toward the rear of the cave, taking herself back in time.
“It was a beautiful day. Not too hot or muggy for a change. We were talking and laughing at a joke Cody had just told. He was always cracking jokes.” Her smile faltered, and a pair of sad eyes met his once more. “At first, I thought someone had set off fireworks or something. To be funny, you know? Then, they all started to fall. There was so much blood. When I saw the life drain from Malani’s eyes, I realized what the sound really was.”
“Gunshots,” Jake offered quietly, crushed by what she was describing.
Olivia nodded. She wiped the tears from her cheeks, only to have them replaced with more. “I couldn’t move,” she said again. “It was like my mind and body refused to accept what was happening. Even when M-Malani fell at my feet and she looked up at me, her eyes begging me to help, I just...c-couldn’t.”
Those tears fell faster now, her sweet voice breaking as her chin trembled harder than before. She was clearly struggling to go on, and Jake had to put his fists in his pockets to keep from reaching out to her. Christ, this was fucking eating him alive.
Olivia sniffed again, her voice hardening. “Then, I saw the man with the scar. The one you called ‘Cetro’. He was walking toward me and I knew that I was next. It wasn’t until then that I finally forced myself to move. I started running and...”—she glanced away again—“I thought about getting to see Pops and Mikey again. And my mom. It was almost enough to accept the fact that I was about to die, but then”—she looked back up at him and whispered—“I thought about never seeing you again.” She drew in a stuttered breath. “God, Jake. The thought of leaving you behind...” Her voice trailed off.
Jake was speechless. Couldn’t say a fucking word if his life depended on it. In what she believed to be her last moments on this earth, Olivia had thought about him. As much of a selfish asshole as it made him, her admission made his heart swell.
Olivia wiped her eyes and straightened her spine, both her voice and demeanor growing stronger. “I kept waiting for the bullets to hit, but they never did. For a minute, I thought I’d actually managed to get away, but when I turned around, Cetro was right behind me. He slammed his gun into the back of my head. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in that tent, and I’d lost an entire day.”
She took a deep breath, her expression softening. “You’re a hero, Jake. You deserve to be with someone more like you. A woman who's strong. Who isn’t afraid to face danger for the sake of others. I always thought that was me. That I was that kind of person, but...” She let out a sarcastic chuckle, then ran a hand through her hair and blew out a breath. “I’m actually glad Mikey and Pops aren’t alive to see me like this.”
Before Jake could respond to her justified—but irrational—thoughts, her eyes grew even more sad. Something he hadn’t thought possible.
“For years, I’ve wanted you to want me. I prayed for the day you’d see me as more than just Mikey’s little sister, but I can’t...” she paused. “I won’t let you settle. You deserve more, Jake. You deserve...better.” She lost the fight, her face crumbling into her hands as she wept.
Fuck this. Jake made his way to her in three large steps. He pulled her into his arms, and held on tight when Olivia tried desperately to wiggle out of his grasp.
“Stop fighting me, Liv,” he whispered.
More tears fell down her cheeks, and Jake willed his own away. Seeing her hurting like this was pure torture. You should never hurt like this, baby. Fucking ever.
He rested a palm against her damp cheek.. “You really have no idea how strong a person you are, do you?”
She shook her head, “Don’t...”
“No, you don’t.” His words hissed through his teeth. “I know I wasn’t there, Liv. I wish to God I had been, because I would have taken out every last one of those fuckers. But I know what those men are like. I’ve seen what they’re capable of doing, and if there’s one thing I’m certain of, it’s that one individual”—he looked straight into her eyes for this part—“no matter how strong or brave
