Darkness goes on and on and on. It might be the longest I’ve experienced since being in Krymzyn. The terrain around me is dark and lifeless, an endless stark landscape of black and gray. I take an occasional swig from a flask while looking out at the dreary landscape. There’s no color or detail to anything around me, just murky outlines of vacant hills. What could possibly have made me want to live in Krymzyn? It sure as hell wasn’t for this glamorous life.
Even on the Delta, we live like wild animals in caves and drink tree sap to survive. That brain tumor must have really fucked with my mind. I’ve broken bones, been stabbed by spears, and watched people slaughtered in front of my eyes. I’ve been chased across a desolate wasteland by creatures that belong in a horror show. I know I came to Krymzyn to be with Sash, but I’m not sure she was worth it.
She wanted to give our daughter away to the goddamn Keepers. What kind of person thinks that way? I sacrificed my life on Earth to be here, abandoned my family and friends, and that’s the thanks I get? Take my daughter away from me? If the Tree of Vision hadn’t intervened, Sash would have gone through with it. Having a daughter is the only good thing that’s happened to me in Krymzyn, but Sash wanted to take her from me.
I think I finally realize where her true loyalty lies. It sure as hell isn’t with me. Everything she does is for the great and powerful Krymzyn, the elusive lie of balance that the zealots on the Delta preach all the time. Sash tried to brainwash me into thinking like the rest of the cult.
I grit my teeth, clench my hand into a fist, and hammer it against the rocks. As much as I want to find the assholes who attacked us and bash their goddamn brains in, I can’t risk leaving Tela alone during Darkness. While the relentless storm wreaks havoc on the wasteland, one thought echoes in my head.
Why did I ever want to live in this godforsaken world?
Chapter 19
When Darkness finally ends, I return to the cave. Sitting beside Tela, I lean back against the wall. The fall isn’t as powerful as it was during the storm, but it’s still stronger than before the rain. The pool has receded enough that the edge is several feet away from Tela’s side. As I stare at our dismal surroundings, I think the same thought over and over.
What the fuck am I doing here?
I eventually close my eyes and try to sleep. Every time I nod off, I almost immediately jerk upright with cold numbness prickling my skin and shortness of breath. I tell myself that the momentary anxiety attacks are because of the dire situation we’re in, but in the back of my mind, I know it’s the wild sap. None the less, every time it happens, I take a couple of swigs to restore the feeling of warmth.
Empty hours and more empty hours agonizingly tick by. I occasionally walk to the end of the tunnel to check the ravine, but soon return to the cavern. Sitting with my back against the wall, I never doze off for more than a few minutes during the entire Krymzyn night.
When Tela finally stirs a little, I reach a hand to her and lightly press my fingers against the artery on the side of her neck. While I measure her heart rate, she opens her eyes.
“Your pulse is stronger,” I say.
“I feel a little better,” she whispers.
“How’s your neck?”
She starts to turn her head to the side but winces after moving no more than an inch. “It’s stiff. At least I can move it a little now.”
“That’s a good sign,” I say. “What about your legs?”
She tries to raise the leg with the compound fracture, but grabs my arm and immediately gives up. “They hurt a lot. I don’t think the wild sap heals as quickly as sap from the Delta.”
“At least it’s doing something,” I reply. “The bone in that leg was sticking out of your skin.”
She frowns. “When I broke my legs before, neither one was a compound fracture.”
“It may take a while to heal, but you seem more alert now.”
Her eyes roam around the cavern. “How did you know how to get light?”
“It was an accident,” I tell her truthfully. “I just happened to say the word ‘light’ out loud. I don’t even know what makes it.”
“Grubs,” she says, returning her eyes to me. “Tiny creatures no bigger than a small twig. They burrow in the ceilings of caverns in the Barrens.”
“You owe your life to them. Without their light, we were in bad shape.”
Still holding my arm, she tightens her grip on it. “I’m alive because of you.”
I smile at her. “Do you feel up to working on your neck?”
“I guess we have to. Do we have sap?”
“A few canisters and flasks,” I answer. “Should we see if you can sit up?”
“Let’s try,” she says.
As I help her sit upright, she moans and bites her bottom lip. I grab a full canister of sap and hold it to her mouth. While I support her neck with one hand, she gradually drinks about half of what’s inside. I start to pull the canister away, but she raises a hand to it and pushes it back to her mouth. It takes most of the canister to get her craving fully in check.
I scoot behind her and hold her head in my hands. Gently rotating it to the sides, I only turn her head about an inch in each direction the first few times. Once her muscles seem to loosen, I try to twist her head a little farther.
“No more!” she yells.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I say.
“You need to be more careful!”
“You need
