“Whatever you left inside me is pretty incredible,” I say to Sash.
“I don’t know if that’s true,” she replies.
“You don’t know if what’s true?”
“The part about a piece of me staying in your spectrum,” she answers. “I made that up.”
“You lied to me?” I ask in disbelief.
“I don’t think of it as a lie. I think of it as doing what was necessary to make you go faster.”
Maya rests her chin on Sash’s shoulder. “I hope I’m as clever as Sash is when I grow up.”
“I don’t think I could handle more than one of her,” I mumble.
Sash raises one eyebrow but otherwise ignores my remark. “Now that you’ve found your real speed, we’ll be able to cover three to four times as much ground in a morrow.”
“We need to,” I say. “Thank you for doing that.”
“All I did was make you believe. You did the rest.”
Resuming our procedure from the prior morrow, we make a stop roughly every eight hundred miles. With my newfound speed, I’m able to stay neck and neck with Sash the entire time. At each location, Maya spends a few minutes on the ground while Sash and I keep our eyes peeled for Murkovin. By the time the morrow is over, we end up covering over three times the amount of space that we did the prior morrow. Although Maya never senses anything that might be Tela, we try not to let it discourage us.
During our return trip to the Delta, Darkness blankets the already dreary wasteland. With Maya secure in the harness on her back, Sash travels close by my side. While the rain pounds down and the winds whip across the murky terrain, we both stay alert for any sign of Murkovin.
As we cross the bridge to the Delta, the rain recedes and light returns. Although we arrive at roughly the same time as the night before, Maya is still awake. Her mood seems disheartened, partially from how exhausted she must be, but also from the lack of success at locating Tela. Sash has a brief conversation with her, basically telling her not to give up hope. Once Maya is safely in her room, Sash and I take a sleeping Aven back to our habitat.
Baby girl doesn’t wake up during the brief journey to our cavern or stir when we tuck her into our bed. After we quickly rinse off in the fall, Sash and I climb under the sheet on either side of our daughter. I reach an arm over Aven and rest it on Sash’s shoulder.
“I feel bad about the time you’re spending away from Aven.”
“It’s what we have to do right now,” she says, staring up at the Swirls.
I pull my hand away from her and lay it on Aven. “I really appreciate all that you’re doing. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” she replies, turning her head to look at me. “But we have to find her soon. The longer she’s in the Barrens, the less likely it is we’ll ever see her again.” She returns her eyes to the ceiling. “Peace.”
After the light of the Swirls fades away, Sash almost immediately falls asleep. Despite how late it is and the two long days of searching the Barrens, I lie in the dark with my eyes open. Guilt-ridden thoughts rattle inside my brain, all of them beginning with the same two words.
What if.
Chapter 30
When Aven wakes up the next morrow, she’s so excited to see Sash and me that she starts jumping up and down on our bed. We apologize for being away so much and try to explain the importance of what we’re doing. Although her first reaction is to pout, her eyes soon glass over and she looks away from us. As though she’s listening to someone in the distance, she cocks her head to the side. Her behavior is almost identical to how she acted in the meadow in front of Home after I returned from being trapped in the Barrens.
“Find Tela,” she murmurs to the air.
“That’s what we’re trying to do,” I say.
Her sparkling blue eyes return to me. “I help,” she says loudly.
“You are helping,” I reply. “If you understand why Mommy and Daddy are gone so much, it will be a huge help to us.”
She presses her hands to my cheeks and smiles at me with the faint, knowing smile that I’ve seen so often from her before. It’s as though she knows something important, but can’t—or won’t—tell me what it is.
While we all have our sap, Sash and I take a little time to play a game with Aven. When we’re almost ready to leave our habitat for the morrow, Eval unexpectedly summons Sash and me to a meeting at Sanctuary. We drop Aven off at Home and soar across the red countryside to the Tree of Vision. With both of us now traveling at Sash’s usual speed, we reach the meadow in the blink of an eye.
Eval, Tork, Marc, and Larn are waiting for us when we arrive. Although I’m not sure why she’s there, Maya is also with the group. Standing by Marc’s side, she stares straight down at the grass between her feet and doesn’t look up at Sash and me.
“Greetings,” Eval says. “I asked you to join us so that we can discuss the search for Tela.”
“We covered a lot of ground yesterday . . . the prior morrow,” I reply.
“That’s encouraging. But you can’t do this every morrow.”
Wanting to get Larn on my side for this debate, I turn to him. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but Kale is good enough at traveling now that he can help pick up my load.”
Instead of answering me, Larn looks at Eval. Tightening my jaw muscles in preparation for her response, I return my attention to her as well.
“You aren’t the issue,”
