I stop searching, his feelings of dislike, of anger and volatility remind me of where I stand. The truth is, I'm too afraid to uncover whatever is lurking beneath. I fear that it's worse than what's on the outside. But I want more, I need more. If he is looking at transference, things may be a little bit more serious than even I have thought.
Remembering my vow to be strong and brave, I sit back down in the chair and cross my hands, watching him as he reads. I begin to build the walls inside of me, unsure of whether his lack of wall to his own emotions is due to his cruelty or somehow a lack of realization that he has the power to feel what I am feeling. Either way, if I'm going to do this, and I've already taken the first step, then I need to become a fortress and only give him what I want him to see. The Underworld just might be turning me into exactly what the Queen should be.
Chapter 8
Drogaem
I can feel Briar's eyes on me, but that is it. The little bit of emotion that I get from her is no longer there. I can only assume that Lux is hiding. She should be hiding, she has no idea what I have in store for her. I don't like the interruption from Briar, but I will deal with it considering I need her. She has been loyal the last couple of days, standing by my side giving into my whims of fancy. Do I trust her? Surely not, but as I sit here, she watches me, curiosity on her face. She seems genuinely interested in what I'm doing.
As quiet as a mouse, she clears her throat and I hold back my instincts to cringe. It's not just that she's a mortal, it's that she's Kane's pet. Part of it is satisfying, giving him little glimpses into my time with her, but today I don't need his distraction. I keep him fighting, wearing down the very essence of his soul, keeping his consciousness occupied so I don't have to hear his groans and screams from within my head.
Feeling as if Briar wants to say something, I look up from my book and tilt my head to the side. "Say it. Whatever it is that's on the tip of your tongue, spit it out."
She bites her bottom lip, and I think back to the night before when my mouth grazed her warm human skin. I have to admit it is tempting. "I was just wondering if you would maybe show me around the wing of the castle that you have blocked off. I'm not used to seeing something like that and I'd like to be part of what you're working on. You are my God and King, and I am to be your Queen, and want to show my support ahead of time, before our vows are spoken."
I study her, curiously wondering if she is being truthful. I try to sense her emotions but there is nothing. I have never been good at doing that anyway. The look on her face is of genuine interest. I look back down at my books and sit in silence. She squirms slightly in her chair and I can tell that my hesitation to answer her makes her nervous. There's a certain level of appeasement I get from making her uncomfortable. After all, she needs to be uncomfortable. She has no idea the events that are unfolding right beneath her feet. No one has any idea. I hold the key, I hold the power once again, and when I'm through, no one will be able to touch me, not even the Three.
I glance up at her again as she fiddles with the edges of her dress, looking down in her lap. I'm tired of the games, she keeps my attention for no more than a few seconds. I roll my eyes outside of her view and put my hands on the table. "I promise that when you're ready I will give you a complete tour of everything that I have hidden away. I will explain every plan and every nook and cranny of what will happen once I am fully complete with this transition."
She nods, keeping her eyes strongly on mine, a trait I admire in the little mortal. She has a bravery to her, let's just hope it's not too much bravery. It would be a shame to have to squash her before it all begins.
"And what do you expect of me to be considered ready?" she asks, a slight quiver in her voice letting me know she isn't quite as brave as she tries to act. I take a sip of my wine and trace my finger over the pages as I stare at her. "You must learn to control your powers, to use them as they are meant to be used and prove that you are the queen that should take the helm."
For a split second her nose twists, but she quickly shakes it away. I can tell she doesn't fully understand what that means. How could she? Her powers come from somewhere else, even if she doesn't know that. Controlling them may be very difficult for her. In fact, it may be impossible. But that's not what I'm really looking for. I'm looking for Lux to get closer, close enough to where I can manipulate her.
"I'll continue to study, and practice," she says meekly. "I don't want to take too long. I want to stand beside you."
She says this without a hint of a quiver
