“I can’t,” I whisper. My only explanation.
He nods, his eyes shadowed. I know he understands. “I’m sorry,” he says simply, and I know he means it. Altair doesn’t apologize unless he’s sincere in it. The thought is the only comfort I have.
“I should go back,” I mumble, adjusting my clothes.
“You should,” he agrees. His eyes flash, as if he would ask me to stay. I swallow hard, hoping half-heartedly that he doesn’t.
I pause at the door. “Will you tell me?” I ask hesitantly. “Will you tell me everything?”
His hand brushes a stray hair away from my face and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from running back into his arms. “I will, when we have more time.”
“I’ll see you later then,” I say, trying to sound unbothered.
“We’re going to the wastelands,” he says quickly, as if to convince me to stay longer.
I furrow my brows. “Why?”
“There will be answers there, about a new enemy.” His voice is low, dark. My thoughts flash to the Shades and I swallow hard. The last thing I want is for Altair to endanger himself.
“Then I’m coming too,” I say insistently.
A smile spreads across his face and his eyes flash with amusement. “I thought you might say that.”
Altair takes my hand and brings it to his lips before I can swipe it away. His lips brush over my knuckles, like a gentle kiss of wind. I leave him then, before his hazel eyes and soft touch can convince me to stay. My heart aches as I use my magic to travel swiftly back to Thal. I miss him already, perhaps even more than I did before.
It’s night now, and Thal and the soldiers have made camp outside the farmhouse. When I appear on the fringe of their campsite, Thal is the first to notice me. He leaps to his feet, moving more quickly than my eyes can register, and wraps me in a fierce hug.
“What were you thinking?” He snaps, pulling away to glower at me. “We thought the worst. The others are furious.”
“Pissed,” Syren agrees from her seat at the fire.
I grimace apologetically. “I had to know if what you said was true.”
“Altair,” Thal says grimly. He closes his eyes, exasperated. “I hope you found your answers.”
“Not yet. But I might.” I bite my lip nervously. “He’s going to the wastelands. I want to go.”
“The wastelands?” Thal cocks a brow. “You’re joking.”
I shake my head. “I’m going.”
Thal groans, rubbing his temples as if they’re smarting with pain. “Gods. I suppose I have to go with you.”
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I quip. I pause, meeting his gaze. “But I could use a friend.”
He nods, sighing. “Friend. I’ll go with you, Verity Chastain.” He levels a finger at my nose. “But you owe me.”
Chapter 9
Altair
I dreamt of Verity all night. She occupied my thoughts until sleep took me, and then made an appearance in every dream. It isn't often that I remember such night visions, but in this case, they still haunt me. I shiver, thinking of the softness of her lips on mine, of the sweet noises she made when we kissed. It's all I can do to resist taking myself in hand and thinking of her body pressed against mine.
When she left a week ago, I didn’t think I would see her so soon. I thought perhaps we would cross paths in the winter. Erzur will insist on inviting her to the wedding, and Verity will likely go because she’s polite. But I thought she might disappear from my life until then. I pause as I lace up my trousers and stare at myself in the mirror. There’s color in my cheeks that wasn’t there before, and for the first time in weeks, I feel the urge to shave and tame my beard. I smile, knowing it’s only due to Verity’s unexpected visit last night.
I wish I had been in my bedroom when she magicked herself to me. But it’s probably for the best that I wasn’t. If I had been, I would have led her to the bed almost immediately and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from tearing her leather armor off her supple body.
I finish dressing in light leather and head out of my room. Today we ride for the wastelands, a place most Fae have never dared go for thousands of years. The gate looms ahead of me and all I can think of is a woman in a red cloak, riding through it and away from me. We said our goodbyes then; I gave her my last parting gift – a token of what I will always feel in my heart. But somehow, I don’t feel as if our parting will last. A smile twitches at my lips. I hope it won’t be. I hope for many more visits for thousands of years to come. If Verity can be satisfied with that.
Guilt weighs like stones on my shoulders and I inhale sharply. Would I betray Erzur for the rest of my life just so I can be with the woman I love? I know in my heart I would, despite my feelings on the importance of loyalty and fidelity. For Verity, I would. But she deserves more than that. She deserves a love she doesn’t have to hide. A life without looking over her shoulder before we kiss. She deserves children that won’t be known as bastards. She should be happy. And
