Her teeth unlatched as she shrieked in fury. She jerked her arm away and I let her go, whipping around when she hopped off my back. Worst mistake ever. Her fist rained an uppercut into my chin. I tipped over, back smacking the ground with a great splash. Air whooshed out of me, not only from the fall but from the fist Reagan rammed into my gut a second later.
I probably looked like a gasping fish as I struggled to inhale oxygen, helpless to stop her from pounding me to raw meat. But that’s what I’d wanted for three solid years—for a shifter to put me out of my misery and end this rat-race of an existence. And who better than her? She didn’t deserve Mordecai’s cruel punishments, but she deserved to end my pathetic life after everything I’d already put her through.
So I closed my eyes and relaxed my muscles, giving up the fight. Rain pelted my face as I waited. The rain stopped. I blinked, confused, only to find Reagan hovering above me, a wrinkle between her brows. What, was she concerned for me? This wasn’t working. She wasn’t leaving!
There was only one thing left to do then. She would never forgive me for this, and my chest ached at the thought of what it would do to her.
What it would do to me.
But, Gaia, I knew it would work.
I snaked a hand around her neck and yanked, bringing her head down, down, down, then kissed her on the mouth. Hard. The action surprised her, as I’d assumed. Her body stiffened where it brushed against mine. But my plan started to backfire. The kiss lasted too long. I couldn’t tear myself away. I desperately dug my fingers into her hair and pulled her back, breaking the connection.
When I met her wide gaze, I wanted to shoot myself. She almost looked . . . frightened. My mind screamed at me to apologize, to beg her forgiveness. Crap, I couldn’t do this. But I had to. I dragged in air, my voice hoarse as I said, “That was goodbye.” With a grunt, I shoved to my feet, effectively rolling her off me. She simply sat in a discarded heap, staring at the ground, looking lost.
I’m a monster.
“Tarik!” The excited child’s voice was unmistakable and I stifled a groan. I moved away from Reagan, not wanting to add to her confusion.
“Benji, you shouldn’t leave your mom alone. Is she okay?” I strode toward him, trying to block his view of the bedraggled Night Enforcer.
He leaned to the side, curious as a cat, and I grasped his shoulder. Finally, he blinked up at me. “She—she’s crying a lot. I think her leg is really hurting her. She won’t eat and she keeps saying strange things.” His bottom lip quivered, the stress finally getting to him. He didn’t cry often.
“Don’t worry, kid, I’m coming in to check on her. Let’s go.” I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and firmly led him away from the havoc I had wreaked.
Another life I’d destroyed.
Tarik took five steps before I dove for my bike. I didn’t know if he noticed, if he heard my bike as she roared to life under me, but my heart skipped with relief when she lurched forward. Main Street flew past, my tires skidding dangerously as I swerved to avoid potholes. Adrenaline shot through my system, almost enough to shake the other feeling, the one that sat like a weight in my chest. I needed distance, and now.
That kiss. That stupid kiss.
My first—did he know? Did he care? Shifters could be an affectionate race, even if the brutes in Nathra City made it hard to believe. We had a natural inclination to touch others, to stick together. As a race so open with every facet of our bodies, something had to remain sacred. A kiss? Uncharted territory for the girl locked away by a dragon. A valued moment of emotional intimacy that I had been robbed of, like he had taken a small piece of me. And not because he wanted to kiss me, or wanted me at all. No, he had wanted to steal a moment to crush between his hands, and he had chosen that one. A moment I couldn’t replace. Because he wanted to hurt me.
My elbow almost bit blacktop when I took a turn too sharply. I kept going, trying to inhale against the fire in my lungs. The bite on my arm throbbed, my knees smarting from kneeling on hard concrete. Nothing hurt as badly as the ache in my chest, though. The tightness. My breaths came in painful, arduous gasps. I drove blindly, foot pressed heavily on the gas. I needed to stop, pull over, get off the bike. My thoughts were skittering across my mind like spilled marbles—driving in this state wasn’t safe. I would wreck.
Swerving, I cut through an alley. A stray cat darted out of the way as I shot past, not slowing until I found the abandoned ruins of an old high rise. My favorite spot, when the days were hard or I had failed. When Alec went too far, and I couldn’t do anything but watch as he brutalized innocent Fae. I ditched my bike on the street corner, jumping over the jagged edge of a rock wall. This building had collapsed years ago, before I had even left the mansion, one of the first to go in this district. The second floor had fallen shortly after, creating a small overhang above the rear corner.
My dark, quiet little corner. The one place in the entire city I knew no one but Nevaeh could find me.
The one
