Baby shrimp? My heart jolted. I hadn’t meant to say it, it just spilled out. As I kept up the rhythm for Persie to copy, my mind turned to my mom again. Maybe she really was here, watching over me. Tragically, my mom would never get to meet Persie. I somehow knew they would’ve adored each other. But, right now, I had to take care of my best friend.
Persie nodded. With a rattling rasp, she took a breath.
“That’s it, you’ve got this. I’m here,” I urged. “Just keep breathing. I’ve got you.”
As she drew another breath, slow and steady and clear, I dared to steal a look back up at the rafters. But the glowing orb, or whatever it was, had gone. And I had to wonder… had it caused this?
Four
Persie
I knew it couldn’t last. Five days without a Purge had been blissful, but that run of luck had come to an end. I tried to clench Genie’s hands, but it was as though I’d fallen asleep on my arms and now numbness spread from shoulder to fingertips. A new symptom, perhaps? I wouldn’t put anything past this curse. I was just a vessel for unleashing beasts into the world… a means to an end.
“My… chest. I can’t… breathe.” I hunched over, my surroundings swimming in a kaleidoscope of color. The straight walls and curved ceiling melted into one, and the seat beneath me felt spongy and strange, like it could twist away at any moment. Panic scampered into the spotlight, sending dark sparks of adrenaline through my veins. Even though I’d known my Purges were inevitable, I hadn’t wanted this one to come. Not here, not on my first real day.
“You can, Persie.” Genie ducked underneath my bent shoulders, so I had no choice but to look into her slate gray eyes.
“Are… they… watching?” I couldn’t stand the idea of having a crowd observe me in my lowest moments. We weren’t children anymore, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t use anything they considered ammunition against me. I didn’t want to be an outcast forever, especially not here, where I’d hoped I’d belong.
Genie shook her head at an awkward angle. “No, it’s just me. Don’t worry, you have nothing to be ashamed of.”
So why do I feel like it’s my dirty little open secret? This was part of me now, and I knew there’d come a time when I had to own it, but I doubted I’d make peace with it anytime soon. With an ability so chaotic and haphazard, how could I? It flat-out refused to let me enjoy one good thing in my life. First my birthday, and now my orientation day.
“I… hate it,” I rasped, as tears sprang to my blurry eyes. “I… hate… it!” I held onto Genie with every ounce of strength I could muster, focusing on the faint lines that crisscrossed her fingers and the chipped varnish on her nails. Anything to keep me anchored in this storm.
“I know you do. I’m sorry I can’t take it away from you or find someone else who can.” Genie’s breath hitched and I saw tears shining in her eyes, too. “But you’re tough as heck, Persie. You can shove this sucker down and show it who’s boss. This is your power, and that means you run the show.”
My tears splashed onto the polished concrete floor.
“I can’t… even breathe,” I muttered, trying to follow Genie’s rhythm. Five seconds in, hold for five, then five seconds out.
She peered up at me. “Can I use some Chaos on you?”
“It can’t… make it worse.” Famous last words, but I was desperate.
A shivering white tendril, hair-thin and barely perceptible, slithered out of her without the need for any hand commands. The glowing thread slipped between my lips and traveled down into my chest. The Air expanded my lungs, and a loud gasp erupted from my throat as I took a genuine breath. After calming down, I realized I’d caused this attack myself. I’d been holding my breath the entire time, panicking like a drowning person, intent on reserving whatever oxygen I had left—a survival tactic that could’ve gone seriously awry if I’d held on a few more minutes.
“That’s it, you gulp down that tasty, tasty air.” Genie smiled widely as my body remembered what it was supposed to be doing. I unlocked the vise that had clamped around my ribcage and drew in breath after breath, letting the adrenaline and anxiety drain from me. The melting world returned to solidity, and my swimming vision cleared.
I laughed like a loon. “It wasn’t a Purge!”
“No?” Genie didn’t sound convinced, but I knew the difference. If this had been an oncoming Purge, the lingering need to expel would still be inside me—a perennial nausea in the pit of my stomach, like those tarry slugs that I’d coughed out in my dream.
“I think I was just overwhelmed. A panic attack, or something,” I replied, my manic laughter subsiding.
“You’ve been through a lot.” Genie rose to her feet and sat next to me on the bench. “It’s only natural that your body wants to go into protective mode. After all this, it probably thinks you’re under constant attack.”
“I couldn’t have put it better,” I agreed. “I’ve been waiting and waiting for my next Purge, and I’ve been waiting for Leviathan to make a move, and I
