I nodded.
“What were you thinking?”
I had a choice here. I could keep this suffocating feeling, letting it take me over and knock us back to where we once were, to that crippling time when I wasn’t sure if I was coming or going. Or I could let it go and accept that Maddison and I were together, regardless of her past relationship with King Fuck-Off himself. I could choose to forget about what happened tonight and fall back into the solitude I found with only Mad.
“I was thinking that one day…” I ran my hand through my hair nervously, and I tried to word it the right way in my mind. “I thought about what our kids would look like.” A smile pulled at her lips. “I thought about us laying in bed together, with our little one in the center of us, as we watched them sleep.”
She nodded her head almost like she’d pictured that exact same thing.
“Would you’d something like that, with me?”
“Only you.” I saw the glistening shimmer in her eyes, and it choked me up. “You are the only one that I have ever envisioned myself having children with. I’ve even pictured a little Mikey with your big green eyes. I know I won’t be able to say no to him. And if he has a dimple, I’ll be done for.”
“What about a little girl?”
We sat there in the darkness of her car, talking about our what-if family. We threw out scenario after scenario and then laughed at the thought-through outcomes. It was what I needed after the run in with Tom. It wasn’t that I thought Maddison wanted to be with him and not me; that was never the situation. The problem was that he reminded me of a time lost. He reminded me of a time when Maddison wasn’t mine, and I didn’t want to think of a time without her. It hurt too much.
Chapter Thirty
Maddison
“Two.” I heard Mike’s whisper in the darkness, and I laid very still, waiting for more. “One boy and one girl,” he added, and I smiled into my pillow. His warm body pressed firmly to my back; I could feel the stubble on his jaw skim over my shoulder just before his lips pressed to me with a gentle kiss. “I don’t want so many that it consumes us because I don’t think I can go a week or even a day without holding you just like this and just enjoying the way that feels.”
My chest grew tight, and I wasn’t sure if he knew that I was awake, but I was afraid to move. I didn’t want to lose this moment.
“I rely on this.” Squeezing me a little tighter, he nuzzled into the crook of my neck. “I look forward to when I know that it’ll just be the two of us, together. The quiet or not so quiet.” He smiled. I felt it against me and couldn’t help but do the same.
“I think we should move in together.” It was then I shifted. It was a knee-jerk reaction, and in the darkened room, I spun completely around and faced him. Through the shadow from the hallway, I just saw his features and figured he’d look surprised, only he didn’t. He was smiling, big.
“Are you crazy?” I asked while cupping his cheek with my hand.
“I might be.”
“Isn’t it too soon?” My heart was racing.
“For others, maybe, but not for us.” Mike pressed a kiss to the center of my palm. “We didn’t just meet. We’ve known one another for over half our lives. We were best friends before we were ever more. I know you, Maddison, I know everything about you, and you know me too. On most days, I think you know me better than I know myself. We are always here or at my tiny-ass little place. So why not share a space where we both come home to everyday? A place that’s ours, a home we build together.”
“What will everyone else think?”
“We’re not going back there.” He said this sternly, and I stared at him. “Every one of our family and our friends know we’re together now. They all know how we feel, and in turn, they support us. Hell, in a way, they’re the ones that brought us together. So if we have to weigh out that, then there is the answer. But more importantly, what do you think?”
“I think we’re insane.” Laughing felt strange, but it was a nervous laughter. “But if I imagined what it would be like to be lying right here alone, without the warmness of your body holding mine, then I know my answer without a doubt.”
“And that is?”
“Yes.” I was terrified but excited at the same time. “I say yes, let’s move in together.”
I nudged his chest, making him fall to his back as I crawled over him, straddling his waist.
“We’re doing it.” He smiled up at me, and I nodded. “And we’re doing this, too?” When he said the word “this,” he lifted his hips, and I felt how excited he was instantly.
“Yes, we are.” Shifting my hips against him, I had to close my eyes to keep myself together. He felt so good, the tip of his cock gently pressing against my slick center. “I figured we should definitely celebrate our decision.”
“I love the way you think.” Mike gripped my hips and moved his own, entering me just enough to make my eyes roll back, biting my lip hard to keep from moaning like a hungry whore. I swore he inflicted such a surge of want and need, a desire I couldn’t control, and quite frankly I didn’t
