“She was in and out so fast.” One hard kick to the stomach, or so it felt. “Nolan said she was in here.” And another. “Leaving something in your locker maybe?”
I sat down on the bench and held my phone a little tighter in my hand. Mark said nothing, but I knew he was still there; I could see his boots.
“Listen, man—”
“Where’s Chief?” I didn’t wait for him to reply as I stood and hurried past him. Passing the stairwell, through the kitchen, and down a hall, I saw the chief exited his office, and when he saw me coming, he paused.
The man was on the road to retirement, and yes, he was slipping. The guys ran this house, which was backward, but he didn’t argue. For him it was easier the way it was, he still got paid and things still got done.
“With respect, sir, things around here need to change. This is not a frat house, we don’t bring girls over to hang out for drinks, and we sure as shit don’t allow women of the crew to walk around here like they own the place. Visitors check in, visitors go through you, or at least they should.”
“Layne.” Chief looked past me, and I assumed I had attracted a crowd, only I didn’t give a shit.
“Some psychotic stalker, one that has been harassing both me and my girl, has found herself a little too comfortable here. This is not her house. She does not come and go as she pleases.” I turned around and saw some of the guys, but in the middle was Holly and, at her side, Nolan. “Are you that delusional to actually think she is here because of you? She’s been following Chloe and me around for months. Using every chance she gets to plant some lie, trying to convince Chloe that I want her instead. Holly is a fucking train wreck, and if you don’t watch out, she is going to railroad through your life and make it miserable. She’s crazy, man, fucking insane.”
Again I turned to face the Chief. “She’s out of here, or I am. But rest assured, if I walk out that door, I will not be coming back. You need to decide what this place is, a respectful fire house or a party house for easy, desperate women.”
***
I had never had a shift in my life that had felt like it would never end. But this one, it felt as though it had gone on for days versus hours. It was quiet, but everyone was walking on eggshells in my presence, just waiting for me to explode.
I didn’t call first. There was no hesitation. I drove to Chloe’s apartment with purpose. I needed to see her; I needed to hold her and know that we were okay.
Still riding an adrenaline high, I hurried up the stairs of her apartment and paused outside her door. A few cigarette butts lay on the tiles. I wondered who we knew that smoked.
I lifted my hand, ready to knock, when I heard the sounds of the door being unlocked on the opposite side.
When the door came open, I was fully prepared to grovel and spend hours apologizing, but one look at her and I felt my legs wobble beneath me.
“Do you enjoy knowing that she’s pining after you? Get off on the idea of stringing the two of us along?”
Chloe looked exhausted, dark circles under her eyes, wearing a baggy sweatshirt and pants, and her hair was a mess.
“I’m not stringing you along.” When I reached out for her, she shied away from my touch. “Chloe.” Taking another step into her apartment, she began to back away from me until she was past the couch. With the large plush cushions separating us, she lowered her hands to her sides.
The silence of the room was crippling. So many things ran through my mind, my stomach tense, my pulse quick.
“I meant to delete them.” I was scrambling. This was not what I’d planned on saying. I never even looked at the second two images until last night when I opened my phone at the station and they were filling the screen. “She—”
“But you didn’t.” I’d come to realize something. Chloe being hurt was the worst pain I could ever feel. But knowing I caused that pain, well, that was even worse.
“I don’t want Holly. I want you.” She couldn’t even look at me. Instead, she focused on staring at the floor. “Baby, please look at me.”
With her gaze still focused on the couch that separated us, I felt like there was a world between us. “I just think right now my life is falling apart and I need to focus on that. I need to figure out what’s next.”
“Let me help you.” I stepped around the end of the couch, and she looked up, holding her hand out to stop me. “What?” I paused even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I had to feel her close, hold her in my arms and assure her that this was all my fault and I would fix it. I had to.
“I need time.”
“Chloe.” There was such a distant look in her eyes.
“I just don’t know if I have it in me anymore to keep doing this.”
“Keep doing what?” I was panicking, feeling like the floor was dropping out from beneath me and I was free falling with nothing to grasp.
“This.” It was only a whisper, but I swore it sounded like it
