But AJ took the reins, and I fell in love with her even more. I didn’t even know that was possible because I already felt consumed by her.
I reached out and moved the shower curtain aside just enough to peek inside. Her back was to me, her hands massaging the soap into her hair. She was gorgeous, every little curve of her body, her long, flowing brown hair. The girl was such a weakness to me; she floored me and knocked me on my ass almost daily. A heart of epic proportions—there really wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t do. The compassion and kindness inside her amazed me.
“You are so beautiful.” I thought she’d jump in surprise, but instead, she turned her head slowly, her eyes still closed, and smiled at me. “Thank you.”
“Can I help?” I asked, stepping closer as she turned and faced me. Her head tilted back, her hands now lowered and resting at her side. It was the only yes I needed. Lifting my hands to her hair, I took over her movements.
“I made our first doctor’s appointment,” she whispered, her eyes still closed. “It’s next Tuesday at two. I thought that would work best since finals end on Friday.”
I used my hand on her shoulder to guide her backward, her head now positioned under the spray of the shower head. “I want you to move in.” I was looking at her hair as the soap began to wash away and trailed over her shoulders and down her back. But even though I wasn’t looking directly at her, I could see in my peripheral vision that her eyes were open as she looked up at me. “You’re here almost every night, but that’s not good enough.”
“How is that not good enough?”
“Because I want you here permanently. I want all your stuff here, not just a few articles scattered here and there,” I explained. “I already talked to my mom and my dad. They expected it and pretty much asked why it took me this long to bring it up.” AJ smiled. “I also talked to Uncle Colt about helping me convert the space above the stairs into a nursery. It’s not huge, but big enough. Especially if we use the space like I hope. It’s just storage now, but the stuff can be moved. The room will be around a seven by ten space.”
AJ was just watching me, an unreadable expression on her face.
“I want you here,” I repeated, “and when the baby comes, the last thing I want is us shifting him back and forth between two different spaces.”
“Him?” she asked with a smile.
“Yeah.” I continued to massage the soap from her hair.
“It could be a her, ya know?”
“Nah,” I shook my head just slightly, “believe me when I say him. I just know.”
“And how is it you know?” She was trying to hold back her smile.
“I can just feel it. If I told you how, you’d think I was crazy.” Hell, even I thought I was crazy.”
“Tell me,” AJ said as she placed her hands on my chest. “Please.”
“I told you about my biological father.” She nodded, still looking up at me with that look of hers that made me feel like I was a god. She had this way about her that left me feeling as if I was some type of superman. “I’ve only ever saw him in photographs and videos that my grandparents sent to us from when he was younger. I’ve never dreamt of him, never had a full-on conversation with him, until last night.”
I had to look away from her for a second, because I could feel that huge knot I’d felt earlier when I told this same story to mother slowly returning. It had left me feeling so raw from the moment I opened my eyes and looked up at the ceiling to realize it was all just a dream. A dream that felt more real than any other dream I’ve ever had in my life.
“What did you talk about?” AJ slowly moved her fingers over my chest in a soothing manner. “I wanna hear everything.”
I took in a deep breath and allowed it to escape me slowly. But the second I looked back into her eyes, my own clouded once more. The thing was, falling apart in front of her didn’t worry me.
“We talked about you.” I gripped the back of her neck, almost as if she was the foundation I needed to hold myself together. “He told me I’d found the one I was meant to share my life with.” AJ’s lower lip trembled, and because I couldn’t stand to see her cry, I leaned in and attempted to kiss the emotions away. “He said that our son was going be a mixture of the best parts of the both of us. And that he was proud of the man I’d become.”
I kept my head pressed to hers. Even when she attempted to pull away, I held her close. Feeling the tears trail along my cheek and drip to my chest, I knew I just needed a minute before I pushed on.
One deep breath in, and a slow release.
“I’ve always wondered if he’d be proud, and I feel like in some weird way this was his attempt to assure me that he was.”
“You’re an amazing man, Rhett. Of course he’d be proud.” AJ’s shaky voice was a mirrored image of exactly how I felt. “I think whether we have a boy or girl, we should name them Blake.”
That alone broke me and healed me as I reached out and pulled the
