I told myself that not going home was because life was just too busy. The truth was, I was avoiding Mikey. I saw the way he looked at Tom when I’d introduced them at the bar. He was pissed, his jaw ticking the way it did when he was barely hanging on to his anger.
I’d also run into him a few times at the hospital, and there had been this weird awkwardness between us. I missed him, but I thought the distance was for the best. Something had shifted between us; things had changed.
My shift was over, and I was standing outside of the front entrance of the hospital waiting for Tom. There was a light drizzle, so I pulled my jacket’s hood up over my head, doing my best to stay under the awning. The problem was, the rain mixed with the wind made it impossible to remain completely shielded.
I turned around, fully intending to slip back inside and wait, when I saw Mike walking in my direction. My body froze, knowing I really didn’t have anywhere to go.
This had never been an issue with us before. We’d always been confident and comfortable enough to say what was on our minds and to ask the questions we’d needed answers to. But this unsettled feeling between us was crippling.
I saw the moment he noticed me standing there, and by the way he stumbled just a bit, I knew he was feeling the same things I was. We stood less than twenty feet apart, staring at one another, him inside and me just outside the doors.
A nauseated feeling hit me, and I knew if I didn’t do something to ease this tension, I would be hunched over, getting sick from the rapid nervous energy I felt. So, with a shaky hand, I offered him a wave, hoping he didn’t notice the tremble.
Something passed over his face. He looked over his shoulder and back at me. The sick feeling returned with vengeance when I thought maybe he was considering walking away. Then he began to walk toward me once more, and the closer he got, the more my heart raced.
Adrenaline coursing through me, I concentrated on breathing evenly until he paused before me. “Hey.” I sensed the nervousness in his voice, and it made me feel a little better knowing I wasn’t the only one feeling so off kilter.
“How was your shift?”
“Long.” He smiled, and again, I felt that pull in my chest. Mike had always had a really great smile. “Car accident with little children inside.” He started to tell me about his day, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like we were back to normal. “Their mother was taken in for emergency surgery, and I spent three hours stitching up the kids, assuring them that their mother would be okay.” I imagined Mike soothing the little kids then all of them sitting on a hospital bed while he sat on a stool before him. His calming voice, kind eyes, and yes, that smile.
“She’s in a medically induced coma due to the swelling in her brain.” He said this with such sadness. “When their dad arrived, I watched as he held the three of them and they all cried together.”
Stepping closer, I placed my hand on his arm, and his gaze followed my movements. I started to pull my hand back, but he placed his over mine and just held it in place.
“Where’s your boyfriend?”
I tilted my head, looking at him, seeing the redness in his eyes for the first time. The light from the parking light reflected off him at the perfect angle. I wasn’t sure if it was due to being tired or from the compassion for the family he’d just told me about.
“I figured that’s who you’re out here waiting on. Because I know it wasn’t me.”
“Hey.” I didn’t know what possessed me, but I pulled my hand from beneath his and placed it on his cheek. The roughness of his stubble against my palm tickled. “What happened to us? We used to be so close, but now, we barely talk.”
Silence settled once more, and I noticed the way he leaned into my touch.
I heard the doors slide open behind him, and we both looked back to see Tom exiting with his phone pressed to his ear. I felt disappointed, and I knew Mike did too. I could see it in his eyes when he shifted back to face me. Grabbing my hand, he pulled it away from his face and kissed my palm. Chills ran up my arm, over my shoulder, and across my upper back. Then he reached out, pulled me in for a hug, and whispered near my ear, “He’s not good enough for you.”
Pulling back too soon, he walked past me, leaving me stunned and even more confused.
“What was that all about?” Tom paused, looking over my shoulder in the direction of the parking lot then back to me.
I was still so lost in what Mike had just said, I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head. “He had a mother with three children come in today from a bad car accident. It hit him pretty hard.” I shrugged. “Never easy when kids are involved.”
“It’s all part of the job.” Tom took my hand in his and led me toward his car, all while I stared at the back of his head. His compassion, though it was there at times, was nothing compared to Mike’s. I knew that was one of the many reasons what I had going with Tom would never last. I didn’t respect him the way I wanted to respect the man
