I feel utterly safe in his arms.
Utterly loved.
And every time harsh memories of the past try to resurface in my mind, Theo draws them out of me with gentle kisses, as if he’s sucking the poison out of a wound.
Even now, even as he fucks me with strong, even strokes, he’s protecting me.
“Theo…”
My fingernails rake softly against his back as I arch against him, and I feel him groan in response. His whole body shudders, and he slows his thrusts, grinding his hips against mine every time he buries himself inside me. He brings me right to the edge twice, backing off just before my pleasure peaks, until every nerve-ending in my body is flooded with nothing but euphoria.
It’s like he’s erasing Jordan from my cells, from my atoms, forcing him out to make room for something perfect and new.
“Theo!” I clench around him, clinging to him as my head tips back on the pillow. My hips are swirling desperately, rolling against his as I squeeze his cock, and he lets out a choked groan.
“I know, baby. I’m right there with you. Look at me, Rose.” He fists my hair loosely, his thrusts growing harder and deeper as he braces himself on one arm, his face hovering above mine. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Let me see you come.”
I bite my lip, tears burning my eyes again as I let myself fly over the edge. My inner walls convulse, pleasure expanding outward as a naked cry falls from my lips.
As the last waves of my orgasm make me flutter around him, he shifts our position suddenly, sitting back on his heels as he pulls me up with him. Our chests smash together, and he thrusts up into me one more time as he comes with a deep grunt.
I watch him too, my eyes tracking hungrily over his face as his lips go taut for a second, his nostrils flaring.
Then he rests his forehead against mine, breathing heavily as he holds me close. He lowers me back onto the mattress and withdraws from me before rolling us onto our sides.
I’m sweaty. I didn’t realize I worked up a sweat, but my skin is a little damp. My body feels lax and exhausted, and I don’t think it’s just from the sex. It’s from the overload of emotions, the animalistic flight response that rose up in me when I saw Jordan earlier.
The thought of my onetime foster father makes my stomach clench again, but it doesn’t send the same debilitating rush of fear through me that it did earlier.
I’ve lived with the trauma of what happened to me long enough to know that nothing Theo does could erase it entirely.
But I don’t need it erased.
I don’t need to pretend it never happened.
I need to remember that Jordan didn’t take my strength. He didn’t destroy my capacity to feel pleasure or love.
And whether he knows it or not, that’s what Theo just showed me.
Chapter 23
We lie side by side in the darkness for several long minutes.
Theo’s cum is dripping down my leg, and I know I should clean it up, but I can’t bring myself to move yet.
I like that we don’t use condoms. I like that I’m a sticky mess afterward. I like feeling a little bit marked by them, a little bit dirtied up.
Theo’s blue-green eyes look gray in the dim light as he reaches out and tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You okay?”
I nod. Now that I’m clearer-headed, I can imagine how much I must’ve freaked the guys out. I felt like a zombie by the time we got back to the house, rational thought completely buried under a deep, instinctive panic.
“The man I bumped into at Saraven—he used to be my foster father.” I drop my gaze to Theo’s chest, reaching out to trace the lines of his muscled pecs. “He raped me for the first time when I was fifteen.” I clench my jaw, fighting hard to cling to the feeling of safety and security I feel in Theo’s arms. Reminding myself of who I am and where I am. “They had a big house. I was in the basement. His wife was upstairs. He put a hand over my mouth so I wouldn’t scream.”
“Jesus fuck,” Theo mutters, his voice strained.
I can feel his heart beating harder against my hand, and I keep my palm right where it is, maintaining the connection between us in an echo of the way he touched me earlier.
I won’t lose it—this connection between us. I won’t let myself push the men I love away.
“I haven’t seen him in years,” I say quietly. “When I looked up and saw his face, it was like… everything stopped. I stopped being who I am and became who I was. I was at his mercy again. Like nothing had changed.”
Theo’s jaw tightens. His face looks harder in this moment than I’ve ever seen it, and he shakes his head. “Everything has changed, Rose. You have us now.”
He leans forward to kiss me, rolling me onto my back as he presses his lips to mine, and for the first time since he entered the room, I feel a sort of violent desperation in him.
When he pulls away, there’s something in his face I don’t recognize. He kisses my nose, then each corner of my mouth, then rolls over and slides off the bed. He tugs his boxer briefs and pants back on quickly and scoops his shirt up off the floor before looking down at me. “Do you trust me, Rose?”
“Yes.” The word comes automatically. Thoughtlessly.
He nods, the hard glint in his eyes softening momentarily. “Good. Will you come with me?”
A little shiver of fear works its way up my spine at the intensity
