Both, but only because I’m forcing it. “I don’t know. I suppose that depends on whether or not you’re capable of loving me the way I love you.”
In all honesty, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever uttered those words to Israel. Everything about our union seemed so blurred. Days melded into weeks in the blink of an eye, and sometimes I’d forget conversations I had with him even yesterday. But as I turned around and looked up into his shocked face, I knew I’d never forget this moment.
I knew I’d never forget the first time I willfully admitted to loving Israel to his face.
His eyes widened. “You—you just said—”
I shook my head. “I know what I said. I’m not stupid like you seem to think. So, I’ll leave it at this. Your brother is going to force me to turn my back on you in any manner he can. It’ll torture me, but I’ll deal with it so you can have your ‘brother time.’ But once this is all said and done, and once this is all wrapped up, understand one thing, Israel.”
His head fell off to the side, but he said nothing as I drew closer.
“Whether or not I stay will depend solely on you.”
He raked his hand through his hair. “If it makes you feel any better—”
“Don’t try to make me feel—”
“—I’ve never trusted my brother.”
His words stopped me in my tracks. It stopped my brain from spinning and my heart from spiraling. Had I just heard him correctly? Did he just admit to not trusting his brother? It didn’t make any sense, though. I didn’t understand. He just watched his brother force himself onto her and he’d taken his side. So, what the hell was this?
My hands fell limp at my sides. “I don’t understand. Help me understand.”
He sighed. “Yeah. I’ve never trusted Giovanni. Not as far as I could throw him. So, to have two people under my own roof that have shown me many reasons why they both can and can’t be trusted is throwing me for a loop.”
“I’m so sorry, Israel.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“No, not for what you just said.”
He furrowed his brow. “Then, why are you apologizing?”
I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry I never got the chance to know you before this all happened. Because I think we could have been really happy if the circumstances had been different.”
He smirked. “Already giving up on me, Bonnie?”
I shrugged and took a step back. “I don’t know. It seems like you’ve already given up on me if you can lump me into the same group as your brother.”
His smirk faded as he moved closer to me. “It’s not like that. Not quite. I mean, my brother and I have been in competition for leadership of this family for, well, our entire lives. I know he’s got ulterior motives coming into my home. I just want you to know that he’s not just gunning for you. If he proves you can step out of this relationship, then that doesn't just reflect on you.”
A moment of silence fell between us, and it helped me gather my thoughts. “It reflects back on your choice to stand by my side. Like you did with your father at lunch.”
“Exactly. It proves me weak and incapable of making sound decisions for this family and gives him a running chance at the seat I currently hold.”
“Have I mentioned I hate your brother yet?”
He chuckled. “I think so. Though, I’m not sure I’m remembering correctly.”
“Oh. Well, in that case, we should send my uncle after your brother.”
His face fell flat. “Bonnie.”
I giggled. “Come on. It was a bit funny.”
He thought a moment, biting his bottom lip, then grinned. “Maybe a bit.”
I sighed. “So, ‘yes’ to the dinner plate later. ‘No’ to literally everything else we’ve talked about.”
He chuckled and pushed himself off the wall. “I’ll bring the plate up myself.”
“Don’t get surprised if the door is locked, though. Because, well, you know.”
“Giovanni.”
“Yep.”
He turned toward the door. “I’ll have a talk with him about coming up here.”
“I’d appreciate that, thank you.”
He paused. “Are you really going to leave after all this?”
My brow ticked. “After everything is done with my uncle?”
“Yes.”
I shrugged. “Like I said, that all falls to you.”
He frowned thoughtfully. “Yes. Of course.”
And when he made his way out of the bathroom, back into the claws of his deceitful little brother, I could have sworn his shoulders were hunched.
As if he didn’t like the idea of me leaving at all.
7 Two days later
Bonnie
I opened the pantry door and stood there in shock. The damn thing was as bare as it could have been. I mean, sure, that random phone was in there, mounted to the wall. But, did the shelves in here really have to go unused?
Israel and I had eaten through everything we had in the freezer. I had one more meal I could whip up for us before we’d be completely out of food. And while it was obvious to me that he had no issues surviving on takeout, I wasn’t about to eat Chinese and Thai every night until one of us caved toward the groceries.
So, I decided to start a list.
I wasn’t sure if Israel wanted this space utilized, but I made the executive decision to use it. So long as that phone wasn’t blocked or impeded in any way, I figured I’d be fine. I closed the door and made my way back to the kitchen island. I hunched over the list, scribbling down the basics as I rattled them off in my mind.
Flour. Eggs. Rice. Beans. Does Israel like lasagna? I’ll need mozzarella for my lasagna recipe. I wonder how far that cheese place is from here?
My pen paused its motions. “Hey, Israel?”
“Hmm?”
I peered over my shoulder, glancing at him sitting at the breakfast nook. “I need to run out and go do a few
