“Youneedn’t be sorry,” he told me sternly and bent down to scoop me upoff the floor. I couldn’t look him in the face as his hands wipedat mine. “Why are you crying? Is the baby alright?”
I sniffled atthe wetness in my nose. “Yes, the baby is fine.”
“Thenwhat is it?”
I shook myhead, fighting with the words. Too many words. Too many questionsrunning through my mind. “Henry,” I began and wiped my leaky nosewith the back of my hand. “D-do you still… love me?”
Aghast, hepulled back. “Heavens, Dianna, why would you ask such a thing?”
“Let merephrase,” I told him and finally met his eyes.“Can you still loveme?”
His browfurrowed in confusion and his mouth gaped, free of sound.
“Youwon’t make love to me anymore,” I went on. “You won’t open up orlet me help you.”
Henry lethis hands fall to myarms and grabbed them tightly as he pulled me toward him, crushingmy body against his in a desperate hold. “You are my very reasonfor living. Everything I amends with you.”
He sorarely embraced me anymore and I let myself melt into him, nestlingmy face in his broad chest. “I just… I know you’re going throughsomething, I know you’re dealing with your demons andI just… I worry about howmuch I look like one of them.”
I felthis chest rise and fall with a deep breath as he took in my words.I felt bad for doing it, but it needed to be said. How could wepossibly go on if the woman he loved looked like the woman hehated? Henry’s chin rested on the crown of my head and he held meso tightly as if itwere the only thing holding him together.
“Maria isa monster, Dianna. A plague cast upon the earth. She’s uglyinside and mirrors thatmonstrosity on the outside. I could never view her as beautifulin any way.” His words hurtme, cutting deep into my insecurities and multiplying them. “Youmay share her blood, but that is all.”
Surprisedat his turn of tone, I shifted my head and tilted my face upwards.Henry pulled away enough to peer down and meet my gaze. “To me, noone in the world could match your beauty, your strength. Itradiates from you like some sort of magic. A spell you’vecast over me.” His warm lipspressed against myforehead. “You’re nothing short of–” he shook his head and sighed,“I’m not sure. Some sort of being I’m certainly not worthyof.”
I grabbedhis face in my hands and held it tight. “But youare,” I insisted. “Don’t you seethat? You deserve more than the life you’ve been given. And I wantto spend the rest of mine making you happy. I came back for that.For us.” I felt the sobbingerupt from his chest and he nestled his face to my cheek. His wallswere thinning, and I took the opportunity to break through. “We canbe happy together, Henry. You just have to let me help you. You’ddo the same for me, right?”
The man’sarms wrapped around my body like an anxious vice as his tear stained lips foundmine. I took him in, every touch, every scent. Whatever I couldget.
“I wouldlay my life down for you if it meant you’d never know pain orsorrow again,” he told me in a raspy whisper.
I reachedaround and grabbed his hands, bringing them together with mine atmy chest. Just above my heart. “Your pain is my pain.”
“God, I’mso sorry,” Henry replied as he blinked away the tears. “It shall beover soon. I promise.”
I swallowedhard. “Over… how?”
“Mydemons will be put to rest. I swear to it. Whatever this is,this… darkness that haunts meat night, I’ll overcome it. I’ll be the man you need me to be. Intime.”
“But youdon’t have to wait,” I told him. “You don’t have to put anything torest.” His guilty eyes shot to mine and I hoped he knew that I’dcaught on to his plan to kill my sister. “There’s anotherway.”
“How?”
“Justopen up to me. Talk. Rid yourself of the of the darkness throughwords and allow yourself to heal. Let me share yourpain.”
Henry shook hishead and backed away. “Jesus Christ, Dianna, I cannot burden youlike that.”
I couldfeel my face flush withanger. Whether from the pregnancy hormones or just at hisstubbornness, I had no idea. But I used it.
“I’mburdened, regardless, Henry!” I stalked after him as he made hisway to the bed. “I deal with your pain from the outside everysingle day. I can see it through the window, but you won’t open thedoor and let me in. I can help. I promise.” He turned to face me,an incredulous look on his face and I sighed heavily. “You justhave to let me. It’s as easyas that.”
“I’mafraid–” He stopped short and turned away from me again, hiding hisface in shame. I watched as the broad muscles of his back heavedwith heavy breaths and I stepped closer to gently run myhand overit.
“Afraidof what?” I asked.
Heremained silent, but I could sense that I still had him, he wasstill vulnerable, and I waited it out. I continued to lovinglymassage his back and pressed my body against him, willing my warmth to soften his fears.Finally, he straightened and turned to face me.
“I fearwhat you may think of me once you know,” he spoke, his voice hoarsefrom fighting back tears.
“Knowwhat?” I asked. “Henry, there’s nothing you could tell me thatwould change the way I feel about you.
“You saythat now.”
“I’llalways say it.” Carefully, I stepped closer to the man, took hishand and held it to my face. “It doesn’t have to be this instant.You can talk about it when you’re ready. At your own pace. Fornow,” I leaned in and closed the short space between us and pressedmy chest to his before reaching up on my toes to kiss his lips,twirling my fingers in his tousled blonde hair, “Just loveme.”
The broken manheaved a breath of defeat and I even caught the glimpse of a smileforming at the corners of his mouth. “That,” he spoke with the deepgrowl I loved and missed so much, “I can do.”
I returned hisgrin and pulled at the drawstring of my shift, allowing
