I shook myhead and wrapped the cloak around me tightly. “I’ve only had thepleasure of knowing him a few short months. Although, I’ve come tobe very fond of him. Like a little brother. Charlie’s a good boy.Spent some time as a deckhand aboard a privateer ship under a goodcaptain.” I smiled at the thought of Henry. “Now, he’s a deckhandaboard my ship, The Queen.”
Her eyeswidened as her thin brows lifted. “Your ship, you say?”
“Yes,” Ireplied proudly.
“And you’rewith child?” she inquired.
I nodded.“Nearly five months.”
She gawked atmy stomach incredulously. “My, you’re some size for only five months.” When I didn’t answer andself-consciously held my belly,Hellen continued with tears in her sick and clouded eyes,“Congratulations. It’s a wonderful gift. Cherish it every singleday, even when they’re not around.”
“Thank you.”Silence hung between us and I looked anxiously for Charlie’sreturn. Being around the woman, dying or not, it pained me. Shereminded me of my own mother so much. Too much. I took a fewsteps toward the door. “I’m, uh, I’m going to go check on yourwater.”
I slipped outand found Charlie, his father, and Lottie standing around in thekitchen, discussing something. They all turned at the sight of meand Charlie appeared happy but anxious.
“What’s thematter?” I asked.
Lottie steppedforward. “Charlie’s going to stay.”
“What?” Ilooked to him disbelievingly.
Charlie noddedand then strained to speak to me. “Thank you for everything.” Hepaused to swallow hard, showing just how uncomfortable it was totalk. “Please tell Captain Barrett goodbye for me. And to the crew.I’ll… I’ll miss you all. But I’m home.” He looked to his father andthen down at the glass of water he held in his hand. “I’m where Ishould be.”
It was themost I’d heard him speak with his new voice since the horriblenight in the woods, when Maria’s blade sliced through his throatand I watched his small body fall to the ground at my feet. Iwasn’t ready to let him go then, and I wasn’t ready now. But Iknew, Charlie was right. He should be with his family. Something Isuddenly wanted myself with a deep desperation.
“Of course,” Ireplied and grabbed him, pulling him to me in a tight hug. “God, Ilove you, Charlie. You’ll always have a place aboard my ship. Neverforget that.” I pressed my face to his ear. “It’s your home,too.”
I heard himsniffle into my face and I had to pull away, to head for the doorbefore the flood of emotions I felt came crashing down on me like atidal wave. I kept them at bay until I stopped in the doorway andturned back to them, waiting for Lottie to follow. When I caught atear stream down Charlie’s face, I broke. Everything I’d beenbottling up; the fear of my sister, the apprehension of seeing mymother, worry for my unborn child. All of it came toppling down onmy shoulders and mixed with the sadness I felt over losing Charlie.But I had to remember, as Lottie followed me out to the carriage, Iwasn’t really losing him. I was bringing him home.
And now, itwas my turn.
ChapterThirteen
When we arrived back at The Siren’s Call later thatevening, one person less than when we’d left the mansion earlierthat day, I felt tired and defeated. I needed some time to be alonewith my thoughts and the emotions I’d finally let come to life inmy heart. Lottie retreated to her room while I made my way down thewinding corridors to the one Henry and I shared.
I entered theempty room, glanced over at the empty bed, and never felt morealone than in that very moment. The day had been long, but not aslong as the ride home where I’d sunk into my own mind with thoughtsof my mother. I had been pushing away my feelings about her untilthen, telling myself that I didn’t want to see her. That I wasbetter off. Then worse, convincing myself that she wanted nothingto do with me. But now, in this moment, having so much to share, Iached to have my mom.
And I wantednothing more than to tell Henry about my new revelation.
I walked overto the window and stared out at the sleepy winter landscape, theblinding moon in the black sky, and hugged myself tightly. Tryingto contain the emotions that coursed through my body. There was noway I’d sleep. Not tonight. And not without Henry.
I grabbed asmall satchel of coins, tightened my fur-collared cloak, and poked my head into the hallway.Looking both ways before sneaking out and gently closing the doorbehind me. I crept down the hallway toward the front door, thinkingI’d take a carriage or a horse myself, but then decided against itfor fear of waking someone up. Once outside, I inhaled deeply thecrisp night air, admiring the hypnotizing white smoke that exitedmy body. The evening was clear and free of any snowfall, so Idecided to hoof it into the end of town closest to The Siren’sCall, the furthest from the docks. I could see the lights oflanterns in the distance and knew I could comfortably walk it infifteen minutes. I could use the time to clear my head and calm myheart.
As the lightsbecame closer and the sound of a bustling nighttime village touchedmy ears, my feet sped up. I walked the stone-paved streets andadmired the towering black buildings, the steaming stacks abovehouses, and the lovely warm glow of fire lit lanterns hanging frompoles. I passed a tavern and peered in through the front window,cloudy with years of neglect, and watched the people inside.Drunken men, card players, and beautiful women to sit on theirlaps. Cheery music played in the corner and I envied them for thesimplicity of their lives. Untouched by the unforgiving magic ofthe sea or the threat of death looming over their heads.
I turned toleave before I found myself inside and headed down an alley I knewopened up to the streets which would eventually lead to the docks.It was far, the other side of town, but I had all the time in
