She pursed her lips. “Catita.”
“Stop saying my name. I can’t think when you do that QEC thing.” I met her gaze and recognized the guilt there. “Correction. You didn’t even ask.”
“I did ask. Well, sort of.” She ran a hand through her long hair to undo her braid. “I checked with Eli, and he said it would be best if you waited another tour.”
“Eli?”
“Captain Weston.” She pulled my arm, and I sat next to her on the mattress. “It’s just a few more cycles.”
“I don’t have a few more cycles. I’m twenty-two. I’m aging as we speak. I...”
Her eyes brimmed with tears. Ry and I could talk about everything except this. She felt guilty for being Mom’s firstborn. And I was an asshole for reminding her every chance I got.
“I can do so much more than patrolling the streets, giving people infractions for loitering or being out after curfew.”
“At least you’d be allowed after dark.” She elbowed me, offering a cute smile.
“I’m serious.”
“Me too. Flying Pods is dangerous. Wela would never allow you to go on an off-planet mission.”
“I’m already on an off-planet mission.” I extended my arms toward the sunrays peeking over the side of her window.
“But I’m here to make sure nothing happens to you. That was the deal. As your sister, it’s my duty to protect you. You’re safe this close to the sun.”
“What does that even mean?”
“The Old Planet isn’t exactly dangerous.”
“Which one is it? Earlier you said it was a hostile planet.”
“It is, but I can protect you from the people there. If you pilot a mission somewhere else—”
“I’d be living a normal life. I’d be living. Period.”
She paced the length of the room. On the third round, the space became highly charged with a force that pressed against my chest. Fear? Ry was afraid for me? I gasped as the compression increased. “Stop it, Ry.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. I’m thinking.” She squeezed both my hands in hers. “I want you to be happy and be like everyone else. How about a deal?”
“Let’s hear it.” My lungs expanded and filled with air.
“If I let you download to the Old Planet tonight, would you put this pilot detail request to rest? Forget about it?”
I asked for the moon and got something in between. “I’ll take it.”
“We have to be careful, though. No one outside my unit can see you. Especially not Captain Weston.”
With an exaggerated sigh, she tapped her wristband to mine. “This is the transport pod we’ve been assigned. Wipe that smug smile off your face. I have rules. Rule number one, you never leave my side. Rule number two—”
“I never leave your side.” I rested my hand over my heart.
“Catita, this is serious.”
“I know. That’s how it goes. The two rules are the same to emphasize—”
She exhaled. “Rule number two, you do everything I ask without question. Understood?”
“Yeah. Stick to your side and do everything you say. Basically, life like any other day.” I beamed at her, and her eyes watered.
“If I could take your place, I would.”
A warm current washed over me, like a liquid version of all her emotions right now. Of course, she was telling the truth. I felt it on my skin and deep inside my bones. My sister would do anything for me.
“I know.”
“We have a couple of hours before we have to report to cargo bay. Do you want to stay here?” She tapped on her private console by the door. As soon as she dimmed the lights, stars painted the walls with their blue halos.
I could try and say no, but then she’d use her immortal compulsion to make me stay. Plus, I really did want to stay. This room was way better than the bunk I shared with three other cadets.
“Thank you.” I climbed into bed next to her. “Tell me about the Old Planet.”
“It’s dirty.” She shrugged. “And hot.”
I laughed. “If it’s so dirty and hot, why do we keep making the trek out here from Mars?”
“Supplies. They have what we need.” She blew out air. “Not just food, but materials, precious metals, and such. This planet belongs to us. It’s how we stay alive, Catita.”
“Sounds exciting.” I flipped on my back and stared at the ceiling.
“If we have time, maybe we’ll have a beer. There’s a bar by the docks. You’ll like it.”
“So what’s the plan?”
“Wait until my team boards. I’ll leave the door unlocked. Just make sure you engage the latch behind you. Hide in cargo bay. I’ll come get you when it’s safe.”
“Your unit hates me.” I crossed my arms over my chest. It hurt that I couldn’t be part of Ry’s world. That I couldn’t even be friendly with her friends.
“Don’t worry about them.” She planted a kiss on my temple, then turned to her side. “Go to sleep.”
“Okay, but only because I’m tired.”
The usual dream started different this time. I had my hands over the pod console. The screen showed us orbiting near Mars, not the Old Planet like before. That part had changed, but the feeling in my gut was exactly the same. It hurt to die. I spun my chair around and saw him. The man I’d seen so many times before in my nightmares.
He smiled at me. Those serene, green eyes calmed my nerves. Maybe he was meant to live in this iteration. I unbuckled my seatbelt and rushed to him. “Who are you?” I wanted to ask, but the words that came out were actually, “You’re hurt.”
I glanced at the usual gory scene, blood all over the pod deck, him, and now a new man, who seemed to be in as much pain as I was.
“Help him,” I yelled at him.
“Catita.”
My eyes flew open and met Ry’s concerned gaze. “It’s just a dream. You’re safe.”
“Then why does it feel so real?” I surveyed the room and immediately remembered I’d stayed in Ry’s room.
“Are you okay?” She pressed her hand to my forehead. The serenity that came with the
