How do you tell your siblings that their beloved pa was an unfaithful liar and cheat?
“You know your papa is gone, right?”
Nugget nodded, big eyes staring at him. “But someday when I meet Jesus, I’ll see him again. And he’ll want to see all of my pictures. He loved it when I made him pictures. He’d hand me a book and tell me to make him something pretty.”
Joseph’s stomach turned over again. How could his pa have been so careless with the things he and his sister held so dearly?
A stack of envelopes caught his eye. He’d recognize that writing anywhere. Ma’s. With childish scribbles drawn over it. Even his ma’s letters weren’t sacred. But why would they be? His pa hadn’t kept his marriage vows sacred, either.
Joseph’s heart twisted inside him as those letters beckoned at him. His ma hadn’t been perfect, and in most recent years, with their pa gone, she’d been unbearable at times. But he couldn’t help himself when he took that stack of letters and put them in his pocket. Tonight he would read them and grieve, both for parents lost, a marriage broken, and the realization that everything promised them had been a lie.
* * *
Annabelle watched Joseph talk to the little girl by the trunk. It had been difficult for Annabelle, going through her mother’s belongings, and even more difficult for her to watch her father give them all away. But it couldn’t possibly compare to the difficulty of going through a parent’s belongings with the evidence of that parent’s sin right there.
“Nugget? Are you ready to collect wildflowers? I’m sure Joseph would like some time alone, and I know Maddie would be pleased to have a bouquet for the table.”
Nugget didn’t move from her position. “Papa always has me make a picture for him when I come so that he has something to remember me by.”
For the first time, Annabelle realized that as much as she had been focused on her own grief, and tried to understand Joseph’s, she hadn’t looked too deeply into the grief of a little girl who had lost not only a mother, but a beloved father. Being in this cabin made Annabelle realize that poor little Nugget had been just as close to her father as Annabelle was to hers.
Well, as close as they’d been before the family had gotten sick.
But now...as much as Annabelle tried to embrace her family’s mission, she couldn’t. And how could she remain close to a man who would eventually see through her attempts to pretend everything was all right when it wasn’t?
The backs of Annabelle’s eyes prickled with the tears she couldn’t allow herself to release. Because if she let herself cry, she’d be too focused on her own pain to be of any use to Nugget or Joseph.
Which was the cruelest trick of all. She’d been fine, just fine, until they’d come into her life, forcing her to acknowledge all she’d lost.
The worst part was that as much as she tried to harden her heart and not let herself love again, she only found it softening toward the sweet little girl and her brother who would soon be gone, just like all the others.
The sunlight nearly blinded her as she exited the cabin. Though she had lit every lamp in the place, she hadn’t realized how dark it had been until coming out into the open. Birds trilled in the meadow, singing beautiful but shallow songs of hope. They could afford hope. But for Annabelle, hope was nothing more than a fairy tale. She had to keep herself from believing the myth that caring for Joseph and Nugget would end well.
Joseph would return to wherever he came from, defeated by the dream of his father’s riches, taking Nugget with him.
Somehow, she had to find a way to convince her father to let her go East with Lucy and her family. There, she could stay with her aunt and finally have the space to let her heart heal. Until then, she’d endure the best she could, hoping against hope that she’d have some of her heart remaining in the end.
Chapter Seven
Nugget skipped out of the cabin, placing her hand inside Annabelle’s with such love and trust, it was hard to remain detached, especially when the skies were so clear and blue. She’d even take away her resentment of the birds, who meant no harm with their innocent songs.
“Are you ready to find some flowers for Maddie?”
Nugget smiled, the grin stretching from ear to ear. “I’m going to press them in one of my books.”
They’d passed some young cow parsnip at the entry to the meadow. There, they could not only find some pretty flowers, but maybe even some greens to bring home for dinner. After a long winter with few fresh vegetables, it would be a welcome addition to their supper. Her mother used to say that anytime they had a chance to experience God’s bounty, they should. Annabelle’s heart gave a pang.
Why did the things that occurred to Annabelle most naturally hurt so much? She should have been able to more easily erase the memories so that she could do a simple task like picking wild plants without that awful prick at the back of her throat.
Nugget seemed to sense where Annabelle was heading, because as they got close to where she’d spotted the wild greens, Nugget took off running.
“Flowers!” The gleeful shout rent a hole in Annabelle’s heart. The joy should have made her happy, and she wanted to be happy, but mostly, Annabelle wanted to cry.
Surely her father would let her visit Aunt Celeste if she was traveling with Lucy’s family. The sights, and the parties, and being a world away would lessen all the pain.
“Look how beautiful!” Tiny fingers
