He looked at her with such tenderness, it made her heart want to break. “If I were to take a wife, I would want her to be every bit as bold and strong as you. But I can’t. It’s impossible for me to marry. Not when I have the children to raise. It’s an impossible burden to put on anyone.”
He had said as much before. Yet this time, it made her heart ache in an unfamiliar way. “Of course your family must come first,” she said, hoping it sounded sympathetic to his cause. It wasn’t as though she wanted him for herself.
Joseph’s slow nod only made her feel worse. “Good. So then we have an understanding. Your father will be much relieved to know that your heart isn’t entangled.”
She forced a smile to her face, not caring if he saw through it or not. Over Joseph’s shoulder, she could see her father and Gertie returning. For all they saw, it was a perfectly amiable conversation that wasn’t creating strange feelings in her stomach. She was fine. Just fine. Or at least she would be once these feelings left. Because they all knew that based on both his words and hers, anything between them was an impossibility.
* * *
The old Annabelle had returned. Joseph watched as she greeted her father with a smile and a too-friendly tone. On the surface, the conversation had gone well, but he knew better than to trust her glib answers. But what else could he do? Carrying on the conversation meant digging in to the places of each other’s hearts that neither was willing to risk. He simply couldn’t afford to, and whatever Annabelle’s motivations, it didn’t matter.
Frank stared at him with a keen eye, questioning. Joseph gave a small nod to indicate that they’d had the conversation.
“All is well?” Frank addressed the question to Annabelle, but looked at Joseph.
“Yes, Father,” she told him in a perfectly proper tone. “Joseph and I are clear that neither of us have intentions toward the other.”
Frank looked almost shocked, taking a step back. Gertie’s soft gasp all but accused Annabelle of being impertinent. Then again, the whole situation bordered on impertinence. Things had been fine between him and Annabelle until her father had decided to protect his daughter’s honor.
Joseph rubbed his temples. He couldn’t fault Frank. If he’d thought anyone trifling with any of his sisters’ affections, he’d have insisted upon the same conversation.
Annabelle indicated the pot beside her. “I have the potatoes ready. If someone could put them on the fire, I would be much obliged.”
The rest of the evening passed with the same sullen silence he’d had from Annabelle when they first met. No one could accuse her of being rude, and some would probably even say that she was pleasant. But she wasn’t Annabelle.
Why should he care? He wasn’t supposed to have these feelings. Joseph rose from his spot by the fire. “I’m going to retire for the evening.”
None of the other men had come in, so Joseph lit a lamp and began looking through the books he’d brought from his pa’s cabin. The first book appeared to have strange markings and notes in the margins. Almost as though he’d used it as a sort of diary, only it wasn’t straight prose. Certain words were circled, but even put together, they made no sense.
Annabelle might claim there was no treasure, but his pa wouldn’t have gone to all of this trouble to throw people off track if there hadn’t been. He’d covered it up too carefully. And that wasn’t the sort of man his pa was.
Plus with the attacks on Annabelle and Nugget...someone was after something.
Perhaps the silver wasn’t worth pursuing. Not at the risk of... Joseph sighed and closed the book. What alternative did he have? How else would he provide for his family?
He picked up his pa’s Bible and began searching through it. Entire passages had been underlined, not just the random words of his other book. It should have brought comfort to Joseph to know that his pa had read God’s Word. How could he then justify his relationship with another woman when he had a wife waiting for him at home? His pa’s first priority should have been his family, yet he’d created this whole new life without them. He could have accepted that his pa had fallen in love. But what was love when you had a family to provide for? Certainly the Bible didn’t condone such a life.
Joseph wasn’t going to be like his pa, forsaking family for love.
He tried reading the pages, but they seemed tainted, coming from his pa’s Bible. Lord, I know these feelings about my pa are wrong. Please help me forgive.
Those words seemed easier to think than to live out. The words in the Bible jumbled in such a way that he could barely read them.
Maybe the Psalms would give him some peace. King David had struggled with his enemies, so perhaps his words would comfort. As he flipped to the right section of his Bible, Joseph noticed that his pa had again circled random words. None of it made sense.
Until...
As he looked back and forth between the pages of circled words, he began to see a pattern. The. Key. To. The. Silver.
Dear Lord, he had found it. His pa had been circling words in his books to indicate where his silver had been hidden. Joseph pulled out his journal and began copying words. Not all of them made sense, and not all of them were as easily connected as the words he’d found. His pa had left a map to his treasure, only he’d done it in a sneaky way so that others couldn’t figure it out. Please Lord, let me be able to decipher the code.
He looked around the tent. With so many people after his pa’s silver, it wasn’t safe to leave the books lying around. He’d already put Annabelle and Nugget in danger, and he couldn’t risk Gertie’s family, as
