Polly shook her head furiously. “Just this past fall, you were telling me about how I could do better. I never imagined you were giving me such friendly advice because you wanted him for yourself.”
Annabelle’s heart hurt at the memory. She had told Polly that she could do better. Because frankly, Tom was on the lazy side. If Polly married him, she’d end up just like her mother, working hard to take care of a family while her husband squandered it all on whiskey and cards.
But that wasn’t something she could say to her now. Not with their friendship so damaged.
“I was wrong to judge,” Annabelle said instead. “I didn’t know his heart, and I should have listened to you. I’m sorry. I’ve truly never had designs on him.”
Her stomach ached at the way Polly looked at her. She could list dozens of reasons why she didn’t like Tom, but they would only be taken the wrong way.
If she were to chase after a man, it would be someone like Joseph. She closed her eyes. Why couldn’t she stop thinking of the impossible?
“I am so sorry that you don’t think better of me,” Annabelle said, opening her eyes to look at Polly. “I know I deserve it after how judgmental I’ve been. But if you could find a way to at least call a truce, for the sake of the others around us, I promise I’ll do what I can to make amends.”
It had taken a long time for Annabelle to find friends like Gertie and Polly, but with a few thoughtless words, she’d ruined it. Worse, though, it seemed like Polly now thought her capable of even more foul deeds than she would ever contemplate.
“You can never fix this.” Polly spat out the words like Annabelle was a bug she’d swallowed. “Just leave. We don’t want you here.”
If only it were that simple. Because if she could go, she would gladly go visit her aunt, build a new life for herself in the city, and forget about the mess she’d made.
Polly returned to her work with the wash. This was not how Annabelle had envisioned the conversation going. Perhaps she’d been too ambitious thinking they would be able to forgive, and maybe even hug. But surely she could have done better than to have broken things between them even worse.
Chapter Eighteen
“I’ll only be gone a few hours.” Joseph tried prying Nugget from his legs, but she was having none of that. She’d seemed perfectly content remaining behind the day before with Annabelle and Caitlin, but today seemed to be a completely different story.
“You’re just like Papa! Always leaving.” The little girl’s lip jutted out in such a perfect pout that Joseph was almost convinced to remain behind. After all, the sky looked like a storm was moving in.
Fortunately, Annabelle, as always, seemed to know the perfect solution. “None of that,” she told Nugget firmly. “Joseph will be back in time for supper. You’re going to be so busy playing with Caitlin that you’ll hardly notice him missing. Now go get the brush from Gertie so I can fix your hair. Then we can play by the creek for a while.”
Though Annabelle ruffled the little girl’s ratted hair with a gentle wave and a smile, the set to her eyes brooked no argument, and Nugget released his pant leg.
“You promise you’ll be home for supper?” The big eyes blinking at him would have extracted his promise even if he’d had other plans. He’d be home for supper, no matter what.
“I already did. Now listen to Annabelle, because I’m sure she has a wonderful day planned for you.”
He hugged his sister, and then she scampered off like she’d gotten exactly what she wanted. Joseph shook his head. He’d never understand females.
“As always you know how to handle her.” He smiled at Annabelle, who shrugged.
“Children aren’t so difficult. I’ve always enjoyed them.”
The genuine smile that filled her face reminded him of his previous thoughts about her and motherhood. “You’re going to make an excellent mother someday.”
He might as well have slapped her for the shock that registered on her face. Or at least that’s the expression he thought he’d caught before she replaced it with a more serene but blank look.
“Perhaps someday. But I have no intention of marrying anytime soon. There’s a lot of world to see and a lot of things I’d still like to do.”
She’d spoken wistfully of her ambitions in the cabin. He still knew so little of her, despite feeling like he’d known her all his life.
“Like what?”
“Go back East, for one. I haven’t seen my mother’s family since I was small. My aunt Celeste has asked me to come visit, and my father says that once he’s convinced my heart is healed, I can go.”
An expression he didn’t recognize skittered across her face. “I know it sounds silly, but I’d like to go to the balls like Mother described. Certainly, we have the theatre and other pleasant diversions here, but Mother says that the social scene where she grew up was delightful. After all, that’s how she met my father.”
And in that instant, Joseph understood. Annabelle’s future wasn’t here. Not the way her eyes had lit up at the thought of her mother’s descriptions of the balls. He’d never been to any such thing himself—could not imagine what would draw anyone to them. But he’d seen his sisters giggle over pictures of ladies in their finery, and knowing how similar in character Annabelle was to his sister Mary, understood the draw.
A trip back East and a fancy ball—those were things Joseph could not reasonably expect to provide for Annabelle. Not with so many mouths to feed and feet to shoe.
If anything was capable of convincing Joseph that he needed to put Annabelle out of his mind, it was hearing of her dreams for her future. He cared too much for her to ask her to give up her dreams when
