The table was full and set for everyone to join them, but so far, at half past the time they were due, Mary was the first to arrive.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He stared into his coffee already knowing her answer. He’d made a mess of things, thinking that this transition for his family would be easy.
Mary reached past him for one of the hotel’s fine biscuits. “The girls are still pretending that the little one doesn’t exist, and Daniel eggs them on. Then there’s the two of you. The little girl, who won’t say a word, and you, who’s got the personality of a wet rag in a rainstorm.”
He looked up at her. “A wet rag in a rainstorm? That’s the best you can do?”
“You know what I mean.” Mary took a sip of her tea and stared at him. “It’s like the life has been completely sucked out of you. Sometimes I think we were better off—”
“Don’t say it.” Joseph glared at her. “After everything we’ve all been through, everything I’ve done to get us all together.”
He’d failed, that’s what. The air in the dining room had suddenly grown a lot warmer. Possibly from Mary breathing down his neck. As he adjusted his collar, a bundle of energy and tears ran into his arms.
“I hate them. Papa said they’d love me, but they’re horrible and mean, and I want Annabelle.”
The only person Nugget would speak to was him. And mostly it was to ask if she could see Annabelle, or if Annabelle had written. Her train wasn’t scheduled to leave for another hour yet, and already his baby sister wanted her to write.
He looked up at Mary, a silent plea for help.
“Nanette, you need to sit in your own seat.”
Nugget looked up and glared at her older sister. “It’s Nugget.”
“Nanette is a good name, and it’s listed in the family Bible as your given name, so you’ll learn to answer to it.”
Joseph rubbed the bridge of his nose. Ever since Mary found that entry in their pa’s Bible, she’d insisted on calling Nugget Nanette, which had only made things worse. Annabelle would have found a way to smooth things over.
But he couldn’t impose on her, not when it meant delaying her own dreams. No, he’d find a way to do it without her. After all he’d put her through, nearly getting her killed in the process, he owed her the freedom of her own life.
“Annabelle thought Nugget was a fine name,” Nugget said, sticking her finger in the jam.
Mary turned her attention back to Joseph. “I would have at least liked to have met Annabelle. I can’t imagine why she couldn’t have had the decency to respond to my invitation to supper. She could have given me some idea as to how to manage Nanette. Instead, I’ve got to deal with her and five mutinous siblings who are all furious that you’d do this to them.”
Joseph finally looked at his sister. “I didn’t deliver the invitation.”
“I beg your pardon?” The glare he got was no worse than he deserved. But he couldn’t have borne it any other way.
“I didn’t deliver it. She was busy with preparations for her trip.”
“And she couldn’t have delayed it by a few weeks, or even a few days?”
Mary’s tone was enough to set the fire back in him. “It wasn’t her choice. It was mine. I made her go.”
Every morning, he questioned that decision. Wondered if he’d just taken her up on her offer of helping ease the transition with Nugget, if maybe his entire family wouldn’t be ready to kill him right about now. If maybe they could write, and she’d...she’d what? Be willing to give up everything she’d dreamed of to raise his siblings? No. He couldn’t do that to Annabelle.
Joseph reached for the pot to pour himself another cup of coffee, but Mary took it from him. “Now why would you do a stupid thing like that? It’s as plain as anyone can see that you’re in love with her. Mooning about, but dodging anytime you catch a glimpse of her so she doesn’t notice you.”
“I’m not the man for her,” he said quietly. “She’s wanted this trip for a long time, and I’m not going to stand in her way.”
Mary shook her head, her face filled with disgust. “You didn’t even tell her how you felt, did you?”
“There’s no point.” He refused to meet her eyes. “I know how she feels about mining. Annabelle doesn’t want this life, and even if I were to convince her to stay for a while, she’d resent not getting to live her dreams.”
“Is this because you asked her, or because you assumed and made the decision for her?”
He hadn’t asked Annabelle. In fact, he’d pretty much pushed her out and forced her to go on that trip even when she’d tried to offer to delay it for him.
“You don’t understand.” He addressed Mary while hugging Nugget to him and smoothing her hair. “My responsibility lies with all of you. And Annabelle—”
“Could help you with that responsibility if you’d give her the chance. Why are all men so pigheaded as to think that they need to make the decisions for us?”
Joseph had never known Mary to be a bitter woman. But the anger spewed at him wasn’t just about his treatment of Annabelle, but of something else.
“What’s really going on? How is this situation with Annabelle suddenly about all men?”
Mary dabbed her lips with her napkin, then tossed it on the table. “Because it is. And because from everything I’ve seen and heard, you’ve found yourself a good woman to love and rather than going after it, you’re hiding behind the excuse of providing for a family that’s got everything it needs. You are just like Pa.”
Her barb hit him firmly in the part of his heart that was still struggling to forgive a man who didn’t deserve it.
