“But I thought...” Emma Jane’s eyes glistened.
“I know, and I’m sorry.”
He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair, then stared down at the hat. He’d chosen an older hat, one usually reserved for when he went out riding, and now as he stared into the rivulets that carried away his sweat, he wished he could disappear as easily.
But that would be doing Emma Jane an even greater disservice.
He finally looked back up at her, holding his hat in his hands. “Please understand. This gang is ruthless, and if they think you are helping me in any way, they won’t hesitate to take you down.”
Swallowing, he looked around to be sure no one was listening to their conversation. “They made me a deputy because one of the other deputies quit. The gang had sent him a note, threatening to kill his wife if he kept poking his nose into their business.”
What would they do to a woman actively working the investigation? Another deputy, Skeeter Ross, was recuperating from a gunshot wound he’d gotten while chasing them. If his horse hadn’t tripped at that exact moment, Skeeter would be dead.
“I can’t put you at risk,” he said, hoping that beyond those tear-filled eyes lay some level of understanding.
“But they already know we’re married. They could still come after me because of your work. What more harm could come if I helped you?”
“Do you know how to shoot a gun?”
“Don’t be ridicu...” Emma Jane sighed. “I suppose that’s your point. I don’t know any of the things needed to be a lawman.”
Then she looked up at him with those big, trusting eyes. So innocent. No way could he involve her in the case. “How do you know them? I can’t see society’s biggest dandy knowing how to shoot a gun or capture bandits.”
“Will taught me. Back when my father and I first met him, my father thought it would be a good idea for Will to teach me in dealing with riffraff. Because of my father’s wealth, I was a target for kidnappings, robberies and the like. My father wanted to be sure I knew how to keep myself safe.”
Will had taught him a lot of things, and even though the practical lifesaving pieces were the ones he emphasized here, the biggest lessons Will had imparted to him were the ones that had more to do with the kind of man Jasper wanted to be.
The man Emma Jane had married was not the man everyone in society believed him to be. How was he supposed to be any kind of husband to her when she had no idea who he really was? When he was still trying to figure it out himself?
“More than that, though.” Jasper looked at Emma Jane, who still carried an air of doubt about her. “Will taught me about being a man. About defending people who are weaker than you and fighting for what’s right, even if others don’t agree with you. I owe a lot to him, and I guess if you want to know about me, then those are the things you should know.”
She’d asked that question of him last night, and here in the light of day, the answer was clearer than he’d expected. He hadn’t been lying when he’d said those things to his mother this morning about the women she’d hoped he’d marry. Not one of them would respect the answer he’d just given Emma Jane, but he hoped, given what little he knew of his wife, that she would.
And if she didn’t, well, he wasn’t sure what he’d do. He knew her expectation in marrying him was all about the fortune that would save her family. She’d said she’d hoped to be friends, but what did that look like to a woman like Emma Jane?
Would she still want to be friends once she realized that being a good man, and being a society dandy, had nothing in common?
“Thank you,” she finally murmured, her face unreadable. “I suppose that’s a start. You said yesterday that you needed me to trust you if our marriage was going to have a chance. So I’ll do my part. I’ll introduce you to Nancy and a few other ladies, and I’ll leave you to your work.”
Her acquiescence should have been a victory. But like all of the victories he’d found lately, this one didn’t sit well with him.
How was he supposed to balance it all? Will seemed to do just fine, balancing his work with keeping his fiancée happy, but Jasper seemed to flail at every turn. Apparently, his pal hadn’t taught him all the lessons he needed. And now, with time running out to find the bandits, and a wife he couldn’t please, Jasper was going to have to figure it out all on his own.
* * *
Emma Jane hated that her last sentence sounded so peevish, but she couldn’t find a way to make herself take it back. Oh, she wanted desperately to leave Jasper to it, but she couldn’t help but think of her friend Mary, and how Mary knew all the details of Will’s work. Will shared with her, and bounced ideas off her, and even though she had no qualifications as a lawman, Will still respected her opinion.
Then again, Will adored his bride-to-be, so maybe being in love came with different rules than being married.
Fortunately, she spied Nancy sitting in a corner by herself, which gave her the perfect opportunity to help Jasper. Perhaps, if he saw how she could be an asset to him in what he allowed her to do, he would realize that she could lend a hand in other areas, as well.
He’d told her that she needed to earn his trust. She’d do all she could to make him see that he could count on her. That she was every bit as capable as Mary in helping Will. No, it wouldn’t make him fall in love with her. But at
