“Thanks, Kaz,” Rafe says, extending a hand. “I know all about regret. Got more than enough of my own.”
They shake, and Kaz lifts a brow at me. “What about you, Billie?”
I tap my chin with a pointer finger. “Well okay, but if you try to trap me in an ugly locket or something, we’re going to have words.”
Kaz laughs. “Don’t worry. Lockets aren’t my style anyway. If anything I’d use a hideous brooch.”
I chuckle, still a bit wary, but willing to give the guy a chance. After all, I still have no idea who I used to be. If when my memory comes back, I discover I was some kind of horrible human being, I’ll want a little mercy and understanding myself. Better not to make enemies because I decided to stick my nose up at somebody.
“Now we’ve got that out of the way, a few things before you leave,” Kaz says. “Even though I’ll stay connected with the two of you, and I’ll help if you get into trouble, most of this has to be on you. We’ve found that when Ghost Guides interfere, it actually makes passing on more difficult in the long run.”
“Why is that?” I ask.
Kaz spins the watch on his wrist. “It’s complicated. But the simplest way to put it is that you don’t feel like you’re the one who completed it. Which, as I’m sure you can understand, causes snags.”
“Then why can we help each other?” Rafe cracks his knuckles with a thumb.
“That’s the other thing.” Kaz looks at me. “Remember that you’re there as a support and encouragement. Ultimately, Rafe has to do this himself.”
I give him a thumbs up. “Got it. Help but don’t help. Easy peasy and not at all difficult to follow.”
Kaz smirks. “Exactly.” He clicks his tongue. “That should be it. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. And if you get into trouble, just call out and I’ll bring you back. Ready?”
Rafe shoves both hands into his pockets, his whole person tinged a little green. “I hope so.”
“It’s natural to be nervous,” Kaz says. “Especially if you haven’t been drawn to a certain person or place. But sometimes you have to take that first step before you’re pulled in the right direction. Keep in mind what you’ve already accomplished so far. Supes would be in a lot of trouble if it wasn’t for you.”
A smile flicks across Rafe’s face. “Right.”
I swallow and pull my hair back, clutching it with a fist. “Well then let’s take that first step, huh?”
Kaz touches our shoulders and we’re again wrapped in that insanity burrito. It carries us through the air, across cities and fields and hellish traffic circles, until we hit ground in the middle of a forest. The scent of pine swells up around us. Birds chatter and small creatures scurry through the bushes nearby.
I take in the rocks and trees and patches of snow. A creek gurgles a few feet from us, its tiny waves catching the sunlight pouring through the branches above. It’s peaceful, quiet, and if we didn’t have unfinished business to take care of, I’d definitely want to chill out on that rock close to the bank.
Spinning in a small circle, I face Rafe again. My shoulders tense when I see his face. He’s staring at the water, dark eyes narrow, jaw tight, hands clenched. Fear and anger battle it out for dominance on his face.
“You okay?”
Rafe flinches. “Nope,” he says through clenched teeth. “Just give me a minute.”
Tension winds up his neck. As he breathes slowly, though, it loosens a bit, easing out little by little. When his hands finally unclench, I try again. “Do you feel, uh, drawn anywhere?”
It sounds straight up stupid, but also makes sense based on the questions our teachers have been asking at Locklear. Mr. Qureshi made it sound like we were ready for this, but even with everything we’ve learned, I feel unsteady and ill-equipped.
Rafe exhales slowly and shuts his eyes. I inch forward, intentionally allowing the leaves to pass through my boots, so I won’t distract him. What does that tug feel like? It sounds like he’s experienced it once before but seems to be struggling to find it now. After another minute or so, he shakes his head, and looks up at me.
“Nothing. I don’t feel anything.” Rafe growls and kicks at a rock. “Why can’t I feel anything?”
“Maybe…” I chew a thumbnail, trying to figure out the right thing to say, “maybe it takes a minute. If you’re upset-”
“How else am I supposed to feel?” Rafe snaps, pacing toward the creek, then back toward me. “For some reason whoever or whatever is in charge of all this doesn’t seem to think it’s important for me to find my little sister who’s been missing for who knows how long and might be-” his voice cracks and he stops, fingers laced behind his neck. “Might be…”
I take a chance and move a little closer. “Hey, focus on the first thing, huh? What happened here? By this creek?”
With a sigh, Rafe shoves one hand in his pocket — I think the one where he keeps that bike lock — and faces the bank again. He takes a few slow breaths before saying, “Paige and I came out here to swim one day after school.” His eyes slide out of focus as he turns like he’s watching it happen all over again. “We were racing each other back home, something we did all the time. I had to make sure we showed up at the same time. Our mom’s really protective of her.”
Rafe’s voice cracks again. He swallows and starts off away from the creek, the sound of clicking coming from his
