Oh shit.
Oh. Shit.
“I’ve been indulging in pizza and set food and haven’t been working out because of the hours I’ve been filming, but shit, it’s only five pounds. Do I really look pregnant?”
Fuck.
I took a step toward her, hating the hurt on her face. “No, baby—”
“I have a narrow frame. A couple of pounds seems like a lot—” She sniffed.
“Eden. I wouldn’t have even noticed if I hadn’t realized about the condom—”
Her hand came up again, stopping me, and then the other came up, too, both of them cupping her breasts—which normally I would highly approve of. However, in this case, my cock was decidedly quiet.
Mostly because my stomach was churning from realizing I’d hurt her feelings.
“You think I’m fat,” she whispered.
“No. Not at all. You’re beautiful, baby,” I said. “I just—the nausea, me being stupid enough to not use a condom— This is my fault.”
“My boobs are bigger because I’ve gained weight over the last month.” She touched her hips. “I’ve also gained here.” She sighed. “My boobs are extra big this week because I just finished being on my period, and I always get swollen and a little extra busty during my time of the month. The puking is because I ate a catered lunch. I wasn’t alone—half the crew got sick. The nausea . . . I think is a combo, the food, stress from dealing with Grant, my tight clothes, PMS.”
“Oh.”
She shook her head. “Yeah. Oh.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, daring to take another step toward her. She didn’t stop me, so I relaxed. Marginally. “I’m a total idiot.”
“Not a total idiot,” she muttered, her lips curving just the slightest bit. “I can see the signs you saw and why you thought that. I guess . . .” Another sigh. “My bigger concern is, why didn’t you talk to me?”
“What?”
“You said you’ve known for a week. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
I hung my head. “You’d had that rough day with Grant before the Pizza Night in your trailer in L.A. and had to be back on set with him for that really important scene that night.”
A nod. “And the rest of the time between then and now?”
“I didn’t want to tell you on the phone.”
“What about the weekend? We were together for two solid days and—”
“I was an ass,” I admitted. “I was worried about your career and your projects, worried that we’d finally moved forward and were having such a great weekend. I didn’t want to ruin that with . . .”
“Potentially life-changing information?”
Fuck.
I nodded, miserably.
“And if I’d decided to drown my Grant sorrows in a bottle or two of wine?”
“I would have . . .”
Hell, I didn’t know what I would have done.
She stood, shook her head. “Damon.”
“I know, baby. I should have just brought it up the moment I even thought it.”
Eden moved toward the windows, staring out for several long moments. “I can’t actually have kids, Damon,” she murmured. “You should know that. I was . . . damaged when Tim pushed me down the stairs.”
A knife-like blade of pain stabbed me in the heart.
“Baby,” I murmured and stood.
She spun, put her hand up again.
“That’s information you need, information you need to accept. I don’t know if you want kids someday, but they can’t be born of my body. Not anymore.”
“Honey.”
“If you want that, I can’t give that to you.”
“I just want you.”
Tears trailed down her cheeks. “You say that now, but—”
No. I went to her, tugged her into my arms. “I’ve waited six years for a shot with you, Eden Larson. If kids are in our future, we’ll find a way that works for both of us.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get there.”
I sucked in a breath, held her tighter. “You don’t need to get anywhere.”
“And you still should have told me the moment you suspected.” Her eyes locked onto mine. “You held back because you were worried I’d panic. That . . . we can’t make a relationship of that.”
“You’re right.”
“And if you do want them—”
“What I want is for us to enjoy our time together,” I said, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “And maybe figure out a way to get my mom to spill her beans on her secret French toast recipe.”
She smiled. “I can do that.” Then, “You should have told me.”
“I know.”
“We can't build something rock-steady if you hold back from me.”
“I know that, too.”
“I should be so fucking pissed at you right now. Especially since you thought I looked fat enough to be pregnant.”
I winced, nodded. “Yes, you should.”
She sighed. “Instead, I’m touched that you care about me so much that you didn’t want to hurt me or my career.”
My lungs froze.
She turned in the circle of my arms. “Thank you for caring, baby.”
This woman. Fuck, she was absolutely incredible. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t roasting my balls over a fire, especially when I deserved a good searing. Instead, she’d set a boundary and forged a way forward.
And I knew I couldn’t hold back.
Couldn’t hold anything back.
Not ever again.
“I love you.”
Her face froze, lips parting in surprise. But then she rose on tiptoe and pressed her lips lightly to mine.
“I love you, too,” she said, shocking me, my jaw dropping open. Gently, she closed it and smiled up at me. “It’s the only explanation.”
I chuckled. “Besides insanity?”
Her smile turned full-grin. “Yes, exactly that,” she said. “But also, Damon baby, it’s the only explanation for why you were able to get inside my armor. It’s love. It has to be because it’s the only thing strong enough to penetrate all of that steel.”
My heart expanded like a balloon being filled with helium. I started to wind my arms around her, but she leaned back, heels dropping to the floor, lips distancing from mine, eyes narrowing. “Now, there will be no stalling or hiding in the bathroom or acting weird,” she said. “You’re going to take me to bed, give me many orgasms in penance, and promise
