He huffed a disbelieving laugh and threw his arms wide. “Alex doesn’t want to fuck you. Alex doesn’t claim friendship when all she wants to do is get in your pants.” Grinding his jaw, he dragged his hands over his face. “I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Throwing my shirt in the suitcase, I turned with my hands on my hips. “Erik, stop. I’m fine. We’re just friends.”
“Don’t be so stupid, Hanna. Don’t be so naive.”
I slowly pulled back, my brows joining my hairline, and glared in wide-eyed shock. “Excuse me,” I said dangerously low.
“That’s not…shit. That’s not what I meant.”
“No, no. Tell me how you really feel. Don’t stop now.”
“Dammit, Hanna,” he growled again, his palms slapping his thighs. “You know you’re smart. But you’re putting yourself out there for the first time. It’s new, and I don’t want someone to take advantage and hurt you.” His eyes pleaded with me to hear him, to understand, and I did, but it didn’t make it better.
“I know I haven’t done this before. I know how inexperienced I am. But inexperience doesn’t make me stupid.” I relaxed my posture and tone. “I know what I’m doing. If you think either one of us is going into this without knowing where the other one stands, then you don’t know me at all. I’ve analyzed every scenario and talked it through.”
“I just…I love you, Hanna. I don’t want you to get hurt or not be taken care of.”
He didn’t want someone who didn’t know what I’d been through to be careless and put me in a position that could send me into a panic attack.
“He knows.”
Erik stopped pacing and turned to me; his jaw dropped. “What?” he whispered.
“He knows. He knows my fears, and he respects them. We both wanted to travel—hell, it was my idea. We’re both getting something out of it that has nothing to do with each other. We’re just partners in our trip—traveling companions.”
“You told him?”
“I mean, he knew enough just being around us. It’s not a secret among our circle, but yeah, I’ve talked to him about it. He’s actually been teaching me self-defense classes.”
Erik swallowed. “I would’ve done that. We tried. We can still try. All the resources at Haven are always open to you, Hanna. No questions asked. And I’m always here.”
“I know.” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. Erik was a giant pain sometimes, but he’d saved me. He’d moved heaven and earth and risked his life to bring both of us home. I loved him more than anyone and knowing he was always on my side, centered me more than anything else. “I know you would have. I wasn’t ready then. And, honestly, I didn’t realize I was ready now.”
“He’s not forcing you, is he?”
“No,” I laughed. “If anything, he’s overly cautious, while also not babying me. It’s kind of nice. But he always lets me know we can stop at any moment.”
I didn’t mention that that was for more than just the self-defense. If Erik knew what else Daniel taught me, nothing would stop him from blowing a gasket, and Alex would be super sad if I made her boyfriend have a heart attack before she could marry him.
“Good. I’m glad. I wish it was with someone else, but I’m happy you’re happy. I guess.”
“I think that’s about as good as it gets from you. Now, go. I have to finish packing.”
He scanned the contents strewn across my bed and stopped, his eyes widening like saucers. “What the fuck is that? I thought you said no sex,” he accused, pointing his finger toward the pile of lace.
“Those are my panties, Erik. I wear them for me. So, congratulations. Now you know what your sister wears under her clothes.”
Erik’s face screwed up and he brought his hands to rub at his eyes, turning toward the door. “Fuck, Hanna. I didn’t need to know that. Are you trying to traumatize me?”
“Then don’t analyze my suitcase,” I said, laughing behind him.
I followed him back out to the living room and was just getting ready to open the door when a second knock came. Looking at the clock, I saw he was thirty minutes early.
Well, this should be fun.
I opened the door to a smiling Daniel. When his eyes landed on Erik’s dark scowl, the smile slipped a little. I gave him an A for effort to keep it in place.
Erik stepped forward, chest to chest with Daniel, only an inch taller. “If she gets hurt in any way, I’ll fucking kill you. Slowly. Painfully.”
Daniel nodded once. “Noted.”
“Oh, my god, Erik. Just go,” I groaned, shoving him out the door.
He walked past and like Robert De Niro in Meet the Fockers, held his fingers to his eyes and back to Daniel, glaring the entire time.
I pulled Daniel in and slammed the door behind him.
“Everything okay?”
“Yup. Just a big brother being annoying.” I shrugged. “Ready to rock n’ roll?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I just need to finish packing.”
“Need help?”
I thought of all the lace bundled on my bed still. “No, I’ve got it. I’ll only be a second.”
I’d told a little fib to Erik. Yes, I did wear pretty panties for myself, but maybe I packed the sexiest for this trip. Just in case.
A girl had to be prepared for any impromptu lessons.
18
Hanna
“So, what’s on the docket today?” I asked before taking another rejuvenating sip of coffee. We’d gotten into the cabin so late that we’d barely turned on the lights to check it out before collapsing in our beds.
Now, we sat in Adirondack chairs, bundled up in the enclosed porch, watching the fog slowly clear from the mountains. Perfect didn’t come close to explaining this moment.
“How do you feel about hiking?”
“I’m open to it.”
“Bungee jumping?”
I almost choked on my coffee. “Less open to that.”
“But still open?” he asked around his laugh.
“Maybe barely a crack. So small, I’m not even sure paper could slip through.”
“Okay. Okay.”
“Honestly, I think I could sit here all day and watch
