I need to get a grip. It’s clearly been too long since I’ve been in close proximity to a man if I get flustered by this. Even as I’m silently berating myself, I know it’s more than that.
I’m around men plenty at the diner, even handsome ones, but they don’t make me feel unbalanced the way Gray does. He’s quiet, seems self-contained and even distant, but I swear every time his gaze is on me, I can feel it. Probing and curious, yet shuttered. Like one-way mirrors, keenly observing while hiding behind them.
“I saw you, you know. On the plane. I almost stopped to talk to you.” I’m not sure why I’m volunteering the information, other than to fill the silence. He looks startled. “You were looking out the window. I wasn’t sure…I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“I don’t like flying,” he says, surprising me. Not so much he doesn’t like it, but that he would admit it. “Looking out the window helps me forget I’m stuck in a small tin can.”
I smile at that.
“I gather you don’t fly often?”
He glances over at my question and I can almost see shutters coming down.
“Nope.”
Silence stretches until he pulls into the long tree-lined driveway to my house. It’s dark except for the porch light I left on when Shirley and I left. Being alone again will be a bit of an adjustment. Despite the not so happy reasons for Shirley’s two-week stay, I enjoyed having company.
“You need more lights.”
“Excuse me?”
“Your drive is too dark. You’re out here alone, you need to be more careful.”
I’m annoyed at his gruff, patronizing tone, while at the same time wondering if perhaps I should be worried instead.
“I’m five minutes out of town,” I protest.
“By car. Which at this moment is hanging off the back of my truck.” He stops in front of my house, peering out the front window. “A lot longer if you have to walk it.”
Shit. I’m gonna need a car.
“About that, you guys wouldn’t happen to have a loaner car, would you? I’m kinda stuck out here.”
Gray
What the fuck was I thinking?
Not my smartest move, but the woman is out there alone without wheels so I volunteered driving her to the closest car rental place in the morning. Never mind that it’s in Midland, half an hour drive away.
An even longer time in her presence than last night.
“This thing is a piece of shit,” Jimmy says, poking his head from under the hood of the Mazda. “Robin should be looking for another ride instead of investing any more money in this one. You should tell her putting in a new fuel pump would be a waste. Unless you want me to?” he asks with a shit-eating grin on his face.
We’ve been over this since I told him this morning who the customer was. Apparently he’s familiar with her, information which burned in my gut. Especially when he offered to take on the task of driving her to Midland. As much as I want to distance myself from the intense feeling of need she seems to stir in me, I still don’t want Jimmy anywhere near her.
“Fuck off.” I scowl at him before marching to the tackboard with keys, grabbing the ones to the pickup truck I’ve been using.
“Hey, hold up,” he calls after me. “On your way back, can you pick up some parts at Advance? It’ll save me shipping costs. I’ll call in the order now.”
Instead of answering, I flip up a couple of fingers in acknowledgment before walking out the bay doors.
I notice, getting in behind the wheel, I’m wearing my coveralls instead of my usual uniform of jeans and a white T-shirt, but I would never live it down if I were caught running upstairs to change. Who the hell cares anyway? It’s not like this is a fucking date.
It only feels like one.
I run an agitated hand through my hair before I turn the key in the ignition. I’m out of sorts and short on sleep. I’m still trying to find my equilibrium in a world that is much more overwhelming than I remember, and this woman only adds to the confusion. What are the odds?
At the memorial she stood out like a bright beacon in a vast ocean of grief: a promise of hope I have no right to. Then she turns up here, in the town filled with dark memories, making me believe in a higher power when I know damn well there is none.
She’s waiting when I pull up to her place, sitting on the steps of her porch. Already wearing her work clothes: jeans and a T-shirt with the name of the diner across her chest. As she walks up to the truck, I have a hard time looking away from those letters stretched over her ample tits. My dick, dormant far too long, picks now to rise to the occasion. Thank fuck I’m wearing my coveralls; they hide more than my jeans would.
“Morning,” she chirps, as she gets into the passenger seat. Too sunny and trusting, and way the hell too appealing.
“The car’s a write-off.”
I’m being an asshole on purpose. I don’t want to be like a fucking moth helplessly drawn to her flame, but when I see the light dim in her eyes, I regret it intensely. I’ll just add it to the truckload of regret I’m already lugging around.
“Really?” She doesn’t seem to expect an answer so I stay quiet, turning the truck down her driveway. From the corner of my eye, I see her working her bottom lip between her teeth as she stares out the window. “Guess I’ll be shopping for a new car then,” she finally says. “I figured that day was coming.” I can sense her eyes on me. “Maybe I’ll check out a few secondhand car dealers in Midland when you drop me off.”
I will myself not to respond but it’s useless, I have little control around her.
“They’ll charge too much. Let me talk
