“How did that come about?”
“We’ve spent a lot of time together and—”
“That’s awesome, Gram.” I hadn’t heard my daughter walk in. “Glad you’re getting some,” she says, a big grin on her face.
I close my eyes. I don’t care I’m in my forties; I still don’t want to think about my parents getting some, especially with strangers.
“Paige!”
“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, Gram’s still got it goin’ on. When we went out to dinner her last night in Newark, the waiter was totally hitting on her. Right, Gram? And I’m pretty sure he wasn’t a day over fifty.”
She’s right, my mother looks phenomenal at sixty-eight. It’s something I’ve never really thought much about because…well, she’s my mom. She has great skin, her face is still youthful, and she rocks her full head of chestnut hair. Besides, Mom doesn’t dress like an almost seventy-year old and always looks a bit artsy. Like now; in her faded boot-cut jeans, engine red finely knit tunic, and large chunky jewelry; she looks like she could’ve walked right out of a magazine.
Looking down at myself, I suddenly realize how much I’ve started mirroring her style.
“Now we just have to find someone for you, Mom,” Paige says. “Gram’s got Ken. I’ve got Josh.” He’s the new boyfriend we met in September. Nice kid and clearly smitten with my daughter. “It’s gonna be harder for you, because Beaverton doesn’t exactly have a large pool of single men, but I’m sure we can find you someone.”
My daughter. I love her, but her mouth often runs unfiltered. I don’t think she even realizes her words are a tad insensitive.
“But what happened to Gray?” Mom asks, and my daughter’s eyes immediately widen.
“Gray? Who’s Gray? You’ve got someone and didn’t tell me?”
Shit. I’ve been able to push him from my mind since not hearing a thing from him, not even after I stopped by Olson’s. The message now clearly received. For a while there, I imagined perhaps something was happening between us, but I guess that was wishful thinking on my part. Maybe he never looked at it the same way, or maybe he discovered he wasn’t ready for where it was heading.
Either way, I’ll get over it. I have what I need right here in this kitchen: my family.
“He’s someone I saw a few times but it didn’t pan out,” I tell Paige with a shrug, as I head to the fridge to pull out the pie dough I had chilling. “Time to start on those apples.” I indicate the large bowl on the counter.
We work in silence for a while, Mom and Paige peeling the apples, while I roll out dough for the three pie plates I buttered earlier. Don’t ask me why three, other than there’s three of us. A pie each may look like a lot, but spread it out over the four days of the long weekend and it’s not so bad. Right?
To keep my mind off him, I start thinking about Mom and this Ken-guy.
“Does Ken have kids or grandkids?”
“A son in the military. No kids there yet, he’s only twenty-five.”
Yikes. That’s just a few years older than Paige. I do some mental calculations.
“How old is Ken?”
I watch my mom closely and catch her glancing at me from the corner of her eyes.
“Fifty-five,” she mumbles.
“Go, Gram!” Paige shouts. She raises a hand for a high five, which my mother, smiling nervously, slaps with hers.
Jesus. Thirteen years. I wince when I think how much closer he is to my age. Only nine years difference there.
“Yeah, good for you, Mom,” I manage. “So what about this traveling? Where does he want to take you?”
“He has a time-share in Costa Rica.”
“That sounds nice,” Paige interjects. “Near a beach?”
Mom smiles at her. “On the beach, actually.”
“Oh my God, you have to go.”
Mom’s eyes flit to me and back to Paige.
“Actually, he’s leaving the middle of December. He’ll be there until March. Wants to get away from the cold for a bit.”
“And he’s asked you to come?” Paige drops her peeler on the counter and grabs for Mom’s hand. “Do it, Gram. You don’t like the cold either.”
I rip the crust I just rolled out when I try to lift it onto the pie plate. Swearing under my breath, I pound it back into a ball to start over again.
Three months. That would mean she’s gone over Christmas. Selfishly I don’t want to miss Christmas with her, but when I look at her face I can tell she’s tempted. Who am I to hold her back? Sure there are safety concerns—after all, she hasn’t known the man that long—but at least my mother is out there grabbing life by the balls.
“You should, Mom,” I tell her gently, and I watch her face brighten with surprise. “Time to enjoy life again.”
“But Christmas away from my girls…”
“It’s just a day,” I reassure her. “Paige and I will be fine.”
“Actually,” my daughter pipes up, a guilty look on her face. “Josh asked me to spend it with his parents in Florida.”
Double whammy. A gnawing feeling settles in my stomach as I realize the world is moving except for me. Don’t get me wrong, I want this for my two favorite people in the world, but it does make me realize how empty my life is. It also makes me wish things hadn’t ended the way they did with Gray.
“Of course, Sweetie.”
My smile is forced and everyone knows it, but still I roll a perfect piecrust this time. Better make the best of this Thanksgiving since it looks like I’ll be spending the rest of the holidays alone.
Gray
“Not long now.”
I look up to see Julie, one of Frank’s nurses come into the room.
Frank was awake from time to time the first couple of days I was here, but that waned with the high doses of morphine they’re giving him to keep him as comfortable as possible. I
