Robin and her mother hug and the man, Ken, and I take measure of the other over the women’s heads.
“You look so good!” Robin exclaims, holding her mother at arm’s length. “Look at your tan.”
“And you, honey, you look fantastic,” her mother replies.
With those two chattering away, and remembering my promise to Robin to behave, I approach Ken offering my hand.
“Good to meet you. Gray Bennet.”
“Ken Saunders.”
His grip is firm and his gaze discerning. The guy can’t be that much older than me, but there’s something authoritarian about him. Must be the cop in him. Robin told me he was retired law enforcement.
“Beer?”
“Dying for one.”
By the time I pull a couple from the fridge and hand one to Ken, the women have turned to us, both smiling big. Further introductions are made—which included a hug from Mrs. Bishop—something else they have in common.
“Gram!” Paige’s squeal triggers more hugging and introductions.
I make my way to the door and slip outside, the kitchen becoming a little claustrophobic with all those bodies. I take in a few deep breaths to release the tension in my chest.
It still happens every so often—an enclosed space, an unexpected hand on my back, an occasional nightmare—but nothing Robin’s soft touch or a little deep breathing can’t erase.
“You don’t drink?” Ken’s voice sounds behind me.
He must’ve seen me hand the other beer to Kyle.
“I do, but not often.” I turn around and face him, leaning my back against the railing. “You know,” I challenge him, catching another scrutinizing glance.
“Didn’t know it was a secret,” he fires back.
“So? What’s the verdict?”
I know I’m being an ass but it slips out anyway. I don’t expect the grin stretching on his face.
“Thought you already served your time?” he deadpans.
I bark out a laugh, surprised as hell.
“Every last second,” I tell him.
“Good,” he says, turning so he’s facing the sliding doors as well. “Now that we have that out of the way, what do you make of that cocky little bastard in there?”
Minutes later, Robin walks outside with a platter of meat, her eyes on me.
“What are you grinning about?” she wants to know.
I’m not about to tell her I may have backed off Kyle, but Ken is planning to put the thumbscrews on. I take the platter, slide it to the side of the grill, and take her in my arms.
“I’m happy.”
She tilts her head, not sure if she should believe me.
“How come I get the feeling that’s not all?”
I take her face in my hands and lean my forehead against hers.
“Sunshine, it’s everything.”
Epilogue
Gray
Fresh air.
I stop when I hear the door slam shut behind me and suck in a deep, liberating breath. I’ll never take this free feeling for granted, my lungs fully expanding and the hit of oxygen instantly clearing my head.
I’m not sure why it was important for me to visit the museum again. Last time I’d come here to remind me of what I had lost, maybe even to acknowledge my own part in it.
Perhaps this time I needed to let go of the guilt, of the grief, both of which I’d been guarding so carefully for years. There’s no place for either in my life now. Guilt has been replaced with gratitude, and the grief—although never completely gone—with happiness.
My life is nothing like I’d expected it to be, and that has everything to do with the woman I saw standing in a crowd last year. An unexpected source of brightness in a world that seemed perpetually overcast.
I still can’t believe fate—who’d been nothing but a bitch until then—ended up being so kind to me.
We’d each been a victim of circumstance; invisibly connected for many years by this place. We’d come here from different directions but when we left, our paths were aligned.
Fate. Not something I’ve ever subscribed to, but this past year has made a believer of me. To everything there’s a purpose, even when we can only see it looking back.
I flip up the collar on my leather jacket against the gloomy drizzle coming down, and start walking through the crowd.
I trust my feet to find her.
Robin
I’m not here for me. Not anymore.
I don’t need to celebrate my freedom by thumbing my nose at my long-dead husband. If I’ve learned anything this past year, it’s I was deluding myself before.
Where’s the so-called freedom in visiting a place year after year, just to remind yourself you won? Where’s the victory in denying yourself any chance at happiness just to hang onto that autonomy?
I’ve never felt more unencumbered than I am when I’m with Gray.
So no, I’m not here for me, I’m here for him.
Gray may have been released from prison a year ago, but he wasn’t yet free of his restraints. That’s why we came, and that’s why I didn’t join him down in the museum.
Tonight we’re going to the Liberty State Park to watch the Tribute in Light. Paige and Kyle are meeting us at a nearby restaurant and will be joining us then.
I grin when I think of Gray’s reaction when he heard Kyle would be joining us in New York. He and Paige have only been together since this summer. My girl hadn’t been ready to jump into anything when she moved back home, and all credit to Kyle, he hadn’t pushed. That didn’t mean he stayed in the background. Oh no, he was up front and center at every opportunity, not about to let her forget she held his interest.
Gray had warmed up some; until he caught them kissing outside Olson’s one day in the summer, and Jimmy had to intervene before it came to blows.
Luckily Paige finds it mostly endearing, although she may well have felt differently if she’d had to put up with his overprotectiveness her whole life. He loves her—Gray does—and I think Paige understands in part, he sees his sister in her. It makes sense, when he lost her she was the same age as her. So she indulges him,
