Such vehemence. He might already love me; he just doesn’t know it. The knowledge only made her want to cry harder.
Of all the things he’d had to endure, losing someone he loved might be the worst. No wonder he refused to give his heart. Love and lose. He would be free, but alone.
Wasn’t that better, though, than an eternity spent as a slave?
She couldn’t, wouldn’t, keep him. No matter how badly she would hurt when they parted.
To save him, she would have to give him up.
The realization ripped inside her, tearing through her heart. She would do whatever it took to make him admit his feelings for her, finally winning his freedom. Without him, she would suffer, but her overwhelming love for him would help her endure. So would knowing he walked free.
* * *
THAT NIGHT, JULIA lay beside Tristan in bed. They were both naked. He didn’t want clothes between them while they slept, and to be honest, neither did she. She toyed with a lock of his hair, running the midnight strands between her fingers.
He didn’t wake to hear the clamor of her heart echoing in the quiet of the room. “Tristan,” she whispered. Even she heard the undercurrent of desire and determination in her voice. “Wake up. I have a present for you.”
The time had come. One way or another, she would get the admission out of him. Why wait? The longer it took, the more difficult it would be to say goodbye.
Very slowly, he shook off slumber and smiled drowsily. “A present? For me?”
A pang consumed her chest. “A sexual one. Tell me something you want and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.”
Before she could inhale another breath, he dragged her atop his chest. The juncture of her thighs rested against his growing erection. He cupped her bottom. “I need…you, sweet draga. Only you.” His husky voice deepened with every word.
“Then you’re gonna get me.” Inch by inch she moved down the length of his body, stopping at the object of her fascination. She took him into her mouth. Over and over she sucked him up and down from base to tip, savoring the thickness, the heat. She cupped his heavy sac in her hand.
“Julia,” Tristan said hoarsely. “Julia.”
She paused long enough to moan, “Yes?”
“Kiss me.” He grabbed her underneath the shoulders and wrenched her up. He captured her lips then, at the same time thrusting upward, entering her in one long, swift thrust. Fierce and growling, he bit the hollow of her neck, too, then licked away the sting.
Almost coming, Julia closed her eyes. She arched her back, sending him deeper inside. Softness met hardness in one glorious burst of sensation.
Bliss! She moved up and down his rigid length, keeping the desperate pace he set. But she wanted to prolong this moment, to make it last forever. If she got his admission, this was the last time she’d ever see him. So when she slid downward, she stopped. He groaned. Gradually she raised herself up. Down. Up. So slowly.
Tristan gripped her hips, urging her on. He was sweating. “This is the sweetest torture I have ever endured. But if I do not have you, all of you, I will die. I swear it.”
“As I will die without your love,” she whispered. “Because I love you, Tristan. I’ve fallen for you in every way.”
He stilled and stared up at her, his mouth agape.
She cupped his jaw in her hands. “I want you to love me, too. I’m not saying this as a command, but as another request. Will you admit that you love me? I know you do.”
He rolled her to her back, pinning her against the softness of the silk sheets while remaining inside her. His shoulders were taut, the lines of his face drawn.
“I will not love you,” he grated.
“I don’t believe that. I think you already do, that you just haven’t admitted it to yourself.”
“Nay.” He shook his head. “Do you not understand, Julia? If I admit such a thing, I will lose you. Do you want to lose me?”
Yes! And it’s killing me! His eternal safety came before her temporary heartbreak. “But I need the words, Tristan.” Truth. “I need them.”
Torment flashed in the depths of his violet eyes, giving her a glimpse of his inner struggle. “Tell me again that you love me,” he said raggedly, beginning to pump inside her once again. Hard. Harder.
“I do,” she said between panting breaths. “I love you so much.”
She waited for him to offer the same avowal, but he merely slipped his hand between their bodies and pressed against the core of her desire. She gasped in pleasure, in exquisite pain.
“You love me, but you are willing to lose me?” he demanded, slamming into her.
The headboard rocked. “Yes,” she croaked. “I love you and I am willing to lose you, so I can set you free.”
He paused again to study her face. “Then perhaps, my little draga, I will have to convince you otherwise.” His voice was a husky ripple purring against her skin, his eyes gleaming with wicked delight.
“What—what do you mean to do?” she asked, growing nervous.
He flexed and surged inside her at the same moment his fingers circled her clitoris. “Oh… Tristan…Oh!” Her breath grew ragged as he slammed inside again and again.
“That is right, Julia. Your body needs mine. Your body will forever need mine. Can you feel yourself tighten around me? Can you feel how your body cries out for mine?”
“Yes,” she gasped. “Yes.”
“You know what your body is telling you, now listen to your heart. Tell me you want me for the rest of your days.”
Whimpering, she clutched the silk beneath her. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Do you love me back, Tristan?”
He hesitated. A pain so great it was almost physical again lit his eyes, making his lavender irises swirl with the force of
