I leaned across the bed and pressed my lips to his. I felt a soft huff of breath across my lips as he opened up and slid his tongue inside my mouth. His hand slipped around my neck and pulled me in closer. As his tongue danced with mine, I started comparing him to the way Alec kissed me. It wasn’t the same. There wasn’t the same passion and urgency in his kisses. It was good, but it wasn’t what I wanted. Still, if I could only try…
He kissed me one last time and then pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. “You have no idea how badly I want you, Florrie.”
As I stared at him, I wanted to take that leap with him, just to feel something other than the utter devastation that still shook me. I knew it wasn’t really him that I wanted, but maybe it would feel good to let go. I leaned in again, but he pulled away, shaking his head slightly.
He chuckled, his thumb running across my cheek. “I want you so much, and that’s why I have to stop.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s not me you want, Florrie. You may think this is a good idea, but you’ll regret it. And I don’t want to be someone you regret. I think if you stick around here any longer, I’ll fall in love with you, and then I’ll be devastated when you realize that I’m not what you want.”
“I could want you. I’m just hurting right now. I need time,” I said, trying to buy more time with him when deep down I knew it was pointless. He was right. I didn’t want him, no matter what my head was saying at the moment.
“Florrie, I could give you all the time in the world and it wouldn’t matter. I could buy you anything you want. I could give you all the love I have, and it still wouldn’t matter a single bit. You only have eyes for one man, and although you’re hurting right now, when that passes, you’ll run back to him because you two were meant for each other. I’ve known it since the first time I met you. That man would do anything for you, and if you could just set aside your anger, you’d see that you feel exactly the same way. You just have to allow yourself to feel it.”
I slumped back against the pillows, my eyes filling with tears. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to believe him. “How can I love someone so much that would hurt me like that?”
“Are you sure you’re the only one that’s hurting? Florrie, you’re no angel.”
I huffed out a laugh, swiping at my face. I had never cried so much in my life, and I hated it.
“I hope someday a woman loves me enough to cry over me the way you’ve cried for him. He’s very lucky.”
I rolled my head to the side to look at him. “I wanted to want you.”
“I know, but you’re not mine to have. No matter how much I want you, I’d eventually resent you because you’ll always have a nicer body than me. And you’ll have to defend me everywhere we go. It’ll start to feel emasculating. Not to mention that you would probably stab me with a high heeled shoe when we go to all those fancy parties that you hate.”
I knew he was right. It was nice to be here this week, to get away from my life, but I was already feeling antsy. We finished up breakfast and I packed my bags. Jamie was right about something, I wanted Alec more than anything in this life, and if I wanted to keep him, I was going to have to admit that he wasn’t the only person that had been wrong. If I wanted to keep him, I was going to have to fight for him.
“Thanks for letting me crash here this week,” I said as I walked to the door.
Jamie grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, whispering in my ear, “You always have a place here. If you need me, just call me. For anything.”
“Thank you,” I said, squeezing him tight. Tears pricked my eyes. I felt like this was the last time I would see him, and I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. I pulled back and smiled. “Well, I should go.”
He squeezed my hand and pulled the door open, but my smile faded when I turned and stared right into Alec’s pissed off eyes. He looked me up and down, and then his eyes caught my hand wrapped in Jamie’s. I opened my mouth to explain just a second too late. Alec tackled Jamie to the floor and punched him in the face.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONEAlec
I knew that Florrie was here visiting Jamie, but I never imagined the rage I would feel seeing them together like that. She was smiling for him, and she hadn’t smiled for me in months. But that was nothing compared to the surge of jealousy that shot through me when I saw him holding her hand. I completely lost it, rushing into his apartment and throwing him to the ground. I pounded my fist into his jaw as Florrie fought to pull me off him, but I was so lost in my anger that I actually tossed her off me to get back to him.
“Alec! Stop! He was sending me home to you!”
My breath stuttered in my chest and I stared down at Jamie. His face was bloodied from my fist, but he had a cocky grin on his face, like I hadn’t just pummeled him. I slowly lowered my fist and pushed back from him. Florrie rushed to his side, but Jamie held up his hand, stopping her from coming closer.
“Florrie, don’t do anything to make him want to kick my ass any more.”
Florrie spun on me in
