“I can’t do this.” I kept shaking my head. “It’s not my money, fake investor or not.”
“Linus is very much real,” said the man himself as he entered the room carrying a diamond cut crystal vase stuffed with three or more dozen blush-pink roses.
“W-w-what are you doing here?” I yanked the sheet over my lap. “I thought you were in Savannah.”
“I came to finalize some paperwork.” He flicked a conspiratorial glance at Remy then back to me. “They’ve caught you up to speed?”
Bishop rubbed the base of his neck and stared at the overhead air vent, utterly absorbed.
“Yes.” I thrust out my arm to point at the card. “You have to take back your money.”
Remy growled at me, chicken stuck between her teeth, but we would talk later.
Ambrose, the jerk, deigned to make an appearance now that Linus was here for him to brownnose.
“As I understand it,” Linus said, setting the flowers on my side of the bed, “Bishop was kind enough to liquidate the assets I no longer wanted, which gave me a cushion to invest in a local business run by a promising entrepreneur.” He cut his eyes toward Remy. “And her savvy assistant.”
There was that word. Plucked straight out of my head. Maybe he was psychic.
“That’s not—” I flailed. “I mean—”
“Remy has assured me that you will repay my investment, plus interest. Her spreadsheets were quite impressive.”
The mental picture of me writing my last check to Linus with skin wrinkled to the texture of a prune and zipping around in a powerchair came to me in a moment of perfect clarity.
“Five years,” she said proudly. “I did the math.”
Terrified to ask how much Linus had given me, I gaped at her. “Are you insane?”
Back to rooting through the bag, she found a crumb of cake and licked it off her fingers. “Do you ever look at the spreadsheets I give you?”
“I mean to,” I said defensively. “I get busy.”
“I had my accountant verify her numbers, if that puts your mind at ease.” Linus placed a cool hand on my shoulder. “Spread your wings.” The words carried a tangible weight. “You deserve the chance to see how far you can fly.”
“But…” I wet my lips. “I…”
“This is a business arrangement.” He squeezed lightly then dropped his arm. “Remy will fill you in on the repayment schedule.”
“So…” That helped me find my voice. “This is a loan?”
“Yes,” he said gently. “It’s a loan.”
I could process loan that better than investment. A loan, I could pay back. An investment implied an act of faith, of trust, of belief. I couldn’t deal with that right now, while I was in a hospital bed and my apartment was a smoking crater in the side of the building.
I felt like a total failure, and this a handout, but it was easier to listen to that miserable voice in my head than it was to see myself, or my situation, clearly.
Not enough. Not enough. Not enough.
Mother had warped my perception of myself, I knew that. Year by year, she whittled away my self-esteem until I had to fake smiles for work, for school, for friends. I had to fake me. Hadley wasn’t me, exactly, but she was real. Maybe realer than Amelie ever had been.
Midas linked our fingers, and I knew what he would say, that I was a fool if I passed on the offer.
“Do what’s right for you,” he advised, shocking me to my core. “Do what you can live with.”
More tears threatened, but I squared my shoulders and swallowed the hard lump in my throat.
My mother was one person. One opinion. Her voice might always ring loudest in my ears, but it didn’t have to be the one I heeded. This many otherwise intelligent people couldn’t be wrong about me.
I am enough.
“Thank you,” I whispered to Linus. “You’re a good…friend.”
During our long association, Linus had been many things to me. A freckle-faced annoyance when we were kids, a lovesick nerd when we were teens, and a nightmare come to startling life when we were adults. I had mocked him, laughed at him, and dismissed him. And he had forgiven all that. He had gifted me with a second chance to be someone whose gaze I could hold in the mirror. Now he was offering me the tools to complete my transformation.
The all-key tattooed on my forearm was a peculiar design, but at its center was a stylized version of the city seal of Atlanta. A phoenix, its wings spread, rising from the flames.
I had never identified with it more.
“I am your friend,” he said softly, and there was sadness there. “I always will be.”
The unspoken promise, that he would do what must be done no matter the cost, comforted me.
Bishop would fight for me. I understood that now. Midas… He would never let me go. Linus was the one person on whose shoulders the burden of my existence could rest. I hated that for him, and I wished I hadn’t caved to sentimentality now. I didn’t want to make it any harder on him than it had to be, if the worst came to pass.
Linus walked out with Bishop, and Remy began tiptoeing behind them to eavesdrop until I snapped my fingers to get her attention.
“You’ve done enough, Employee of the Month.” I jabbed a finger at her. “Get back to building your evil empire and leave them out of it.”
“You’re mad now, but you’ll get over it.” She smiled, needlelike teeth on display. “And you’ll thank me.”
During the excitement, Midas had fallen asleep, his eyes twitching behind their lids.
Most of his exposed skin was bright pink with regrown flesh and pimpled with blisters. His hair had been buzzed against his scalp, and one of his eyebrows was missing. He would have died in that inferno, if he weren’t gwyllgi and if Abbott wasn’t such a gifted healer. And fine, if Ambrose hadn’t been able to give me the strength I needed to walk out of there with
