“Taylor, can you tell Lydia what you’ve been struggling with in particular?” Mr. Tupp asked him.
Taylor turned to me and sighed. “I’ve been assuming I know what you’re thinking, like that you wouldn’t like me because I couldn’t be intimate.”
“But that’s not true.” I tilted my head wanting to reach out and comfort him somehow.
“Those are intrusive thoughts Taylor. I think you need to work on, when you assume something about what Lydia is thinking, that you examine why you assume that. Then I want you to ask Lydia what she really feels,” Mr. Tupp instructed. I guess there was homework in therapy too.
“Now let’s talk about intimacy.”
***
We had been going to therapy for a few weeks. Christmas was a little over a month away. Taylor and I were having a movie night. We were slowly doing small intimate acts, escalating once we both felt comfortable. Last week we were leaning on each other during these movie nights and sleeping closer than ever before. We were daily holding hands and kissing hello and goodbye. There were still days when Taylor couldn’t bring himself to do much of anything. But we worked through those days. I knew Taylor wasn’t ever going to be “fixed”, even after therapy. But he was getting better, and I could feel us getting even closer.
The night before, we had spooned, his solid chest pressed against my back. While we watched the action flick we picked at random, I kept thinking back at the way his legs pressed against me, his heat melding with mine. His body closer than ever before.
He reached down and pressed pause on the remote. I leaned up off of his shoulder a little with a questioning look on my face.
He pushed some of my mussed hair back and stroked my ear with his thumb. “Do I ever say how beautiful you are?”
“It was how you tried to convince me to be your wife.” I reminded him while I moved my body closer. I carefully placed my hand on his thigh, watching to see his reaction. He continued to play with the curls around my ear.
“It worked, didn’t it? And I wasn’t lying or exaggerating. You.” He got his legs onto the couch and leaned forward which pushed my hand further up his thigh. “Are.” He pressed a soft kiss to my mouth. “Attractive.”
He had to know he was driving me crazy. “You’re not so bad yourself.” While my one hand traced circles on his upper thigh, my other was finding the edge of his shirt and slipping under the hem. I explored the hard muscle beneath as he leaned forward for another, deeper kiss.
We were almost on top of each other at this point. As we broke to breathe between kisses, I took in his scent. Freshly showered after his workout earlier, he smelled like mint and spices. I wanted to bury my nose in his hair. I decided, why not. I was basically straddling him and kissed up his neck to his ear, teasing with a quick hot breath.
He made a low noise in his throat while I breathed in the concentrated smell. I slowly leaned back, letting him decide what to do next.
“Let’s go to my room.” His tone was dark, and I could hear the lust in his voice.
“Are you sure?” I said, almost breathless.
He leaned over to my ear and in a husky voice said, “What if I told you, I wanted to?”
I tapped his wrist as my silent reply.
“Perfect.”
I moved back off of him, ready to race him up the steps, but before I could get up, he picked me up, bridal style in his arms.
“Is this good?” He asked, kissing at my neck making me giggle at the ticklish sensation.
“Yes. Yes! Now go!” I cried through my helpless snorts.
He effortlessly carried me up to his room. Three floors? Damn. I thought, admiring his thick arms, not for the first time.
He dropped me onto his bed, our bed, causing both of us to laugh at how I bounced. He quickly got on the bed and crawled over me. He looked down on me with his arms extended on either side of my head. I got a good look at his brown eyes and how hungry they looked.
“We are wearing too many clothes.” I smirked up at him.
“I want to take my time, with our first.” He leaned down and bit at my neck. He kissed the spot then repeated it a little further down. I was thankful for my low-necked top.
I was getting restless, so I decided to reach up and lay my palms at the top of his jeans. I slowly worked my hands down as he continued to kiss me. I stifled a gasp as I felt his erection through his jeans.
“Not yet,” he whispered.
“Why not?” I asked, mostly teasing. I wanted him now, but I couldn’t deny the wait was making me get wetter in anticipation.
“Fine. Take off my shirt.”
I wasted no time in getting that off of him. Now I could finally stare at what I had pressed my fingers in before, testing the firmness.
“Me too.” I insisted.
He kneeled down over me and sat on his heels. I helped him pull my shirt up and over my head and wiggled to help him pull off my bra.
He smiled one of his genuine and pretty smiles and leaned his face over my chest. Slowly, he took one of my nipples into his mouth. They instantly harden at the hot air and attention. He licked a strip over it, and I moaned. He played with the other nipple with his thumb, occasionally pinching it, causing me to jump.
I was needy, I used my hands to pull his attention back to me. With my hands in his hair, I kissed him hard, pushing my tongue in at the contact. He continued to play with my nipples, and
