“It’s okay, Mom,” she said. “Maybe we’ll be together in another life.”
“I hope so.”
Katie floated over to Samantha. “I think it was cool that you helped me, even though you didn’t have to.”
“I think it’s cool that you’re a ghost,” Samantha replied.
Katie looked over at me, still speaking to Samantha. “Take care of her for me, okay?”
“I will,” Samantha promised, wiping a tear from her cheek.
“I don’t need anybody to take care of me.”
“Yes, you do.” Katie faced me now. “Everybody needs somebody looking out for them.”
“I wish I felt bad about you leaving,” I said to Katie. “I know I should feel bad, but I just don’t feel anything.”
“About that,” Hilda said, walking up to me from the portal. “Hades gave me something for you.” She held out her hand, and a yellow ball of light floated in it. “This is the love you had for Katie. Hades found it in the underworld, and told me to give it back to you, if you wanted it.”
“You don’t have to take it,” Katie said. “Maybe it’s better that you don’t miss me.”
I shook my head, grabbing the ball of light from Hilda’s hand. “I want to miss you. I want that pain. It’s part of loving you, and I’ll never feel bad about that.”
I dragged the orb close to me. I knew exactly what to do without having to be told. I pushed it against my chest, and it absorbed into me. Suddenly, a flood of emotions came flooding back, and I fell to my knees, crying.
“It will take a minute to readjust,” Hilda said. “It’s like having a week’s worth of emotions come at you all at once.”
I pressed my hands on the ground and breathed deeply. Looking up at Katie, I remembered everything, every emotion and every feeling that ever went into knowing her. It was pure pain, but wonderful pain. When I stood up again, I was sobbing uncontrollably.
“Do you regret it?” Katie asked. “Taking back your emotions?”
“Not one bit.”
“It’s time to go,” Hilda said to Katie. “If you want to go back, the time is now.”
Katie nodded. “Okay.”
“Are you sure you want to go back?” I said. “You can still stay here, with me.”
“No,” Katie said. “You have to move on, and so do I.” She leaned forward and placed her lips on mine. I felt the cold come off her mouth, and I closed my eyes.
“I love you,” she said, and then the cold was gone. I opened my eyes, and she was gone. The rift was closed, and there was no Katie.
When she was gone, I turned to Hilda. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Anything, dear,” Hilda replied.
“Am I cursed?”
Hilda cocked her head to one side. “What ever do you mean, dear?”
I sighed. “Almost everybody I’ve ever loved is dead.”
The witch shook her head. “That doesn’t mean you’re cursed, dear. You’re just having a bit of any unlucky life, but things can always turn around.”
“Well, that’s good to know, I guess.”
“Come on,” Samantha said, throwing an arm over my shoulder. “I’ll buy you lunch.”
I smiled. “I’m not that hungry…froyo sounds good, though.”
Author Notes
This book was originally supposed to be a comic book script. My friend asked me to pitch him something, but nothing I showed him was working. Even after multiple tries, nothing clicked for me.
Then, I traveled to Worldcon in San Jose, and as I was going to sleep in another friend’s guest bed, I had this idea. I shot up from bed in the middle of the night and furiously typed out the beginning of what would become Anna and the Dark Place. It was super rough, but even then, I loved it so much.
This is what I wrote to him.
Susie Against the Dark Place
Susie Jenkins's best friend, Teresa, died last week. She's been taking it poorly, so when Teresa comes to her at night as a ghost and tells her the barrier between the Dark Place and Earth is breaking down, Susie is skeptical at best.
At first, Susie is sure she is having a mental break, but slowly, after many doctor visits, Susie begins to believe Teresa is real. With her friend's help, Susie sets out to become a witch so she can save the world.
As the book goes on, Susie and Teresa carry on like old friends. While studying, Susie begins to realize if she is successful, Teresa will be gone forever. This sends her into a second grief spiral, where she contemplates letting the world end so she can keep her friend around. However, she eventually comes to term with her friend's death, learns how to mend the hole in the barrier and her heart, and say goodbye to her friend forever.
It's a story about grief, loss, friendship, and how you say goodbye to a friend without ever leaving them behind.
The Dark Place, in this case, has two meanings, b/c Susie is fighting against the literal dark place within us all, and against The Dark Place, the void where souls go after they die.
The gist of the story remained, though obviously I changed her name.
My YA books have always been about death, grief, and loss, but I had never tackled the love between two friends before, which is what makes Anna and the Dark Place so special.
Yes, they fell in love, too, but at the base level they are good friends with a deep and lasting friendship. That’s what I wanted to explore in this book—what it’s like to lose somebody that means so much to you.
The book didn’t originally have mythological creatures in it, but I just love them so much that I couldn’t avoid putting them into the story. I love the idea of these two friends gathering these pieces to a potion and having to work through their grief in the process.
Originally, Frank wasn’t the bad guy, either. It was Hilda, but that felt too on the nose. Besides, the real “bad guy” was Death. It took Frank and Anna’s loves away
