As I glanced at my mother, Andrea, I knew she wouldn’t approve of my thoughts. She was more gentle than firm most of the time, but she was set in her beliefs whereas I questioned mine. She would tell me to have faith, but I felt like I needed something more substantial to hold on to. Everything was changing and felt out of my control, but I breathed and tried to calm my nerves. It would be alright. It had to be; I just wasn’t sure how to make certain of that.
I’d always had flashes of insight in waking visions and in dreams. It took me a while as a child to realise these foretold the future. Now in my late teens, I wasn’t sure I understood it much better. It was strange, but a lot of the details I saw didn’t seem important at the time, and I’m not sure they were later either. Maybe they mattered in ways I couldn’t see or the importance of them would only be revealed with time?
I knew that soon, with the help of the other oracles, my insights should grow in power and clarity. When I was ready, people would visit me seeking guidance. I was excited by the prospect, but it scared me too. What if I couldn’t help them or they didn’t like the advice I gave them? I didn’t want to see terrible things, but at the same time, it might give me the ability to help people. I wanted to do that if I could, but my excitement had turned to trepidation, and I began to wish I’d kept my visions to myself.
Our city of Korlas had four oracles, and after the fifth retired, I would take over her role. In five days my life would change forever. It was my last chance to be out in the world among everyday people, before committing to the life of a seer. I’d always thought about marrying someone special someday, and I came to realise it wouldn’t happen because oracles aren’t allowed to marry. I didn’t have anyone in mind, but it felt like a dream had been snatched from me before I had a chance to fulfil it.
My heart ached, and yet I knew a good life probably lay ahead. In the meantime, I waited in a beautiful place–the temple of Illyria. I admired its tall marble columns and wooden pillars, carved to represent a great forest, with twining branches extending to the ceiling. They were inlaid with gold leaf, while torches burned in sconces along the walls and colourful lanterns hung among the upper branches of the trees.
I gazed up at the ceiling. It was painted in pastel colours, reminiscent of a sky at sunset. I was comfortable in my chair, but it seemed like it would be oddly out of place in a real forest. I felt much the same way about myself. I knew this wouldn’t be the temple where I would serve, but it was in the same district of our city. It was likely I’d see this place again; perhaps, many times, but as lovely as it was, it didn’t feel like home to me.
There were no closed doors in the temple, just as there were none in nature. A woman strode in, wearing simple mottled green clothes. In her case it was a linen top and panelled skirt, which seemed to offer her freedom of movement. She wasn’t a priestess, I realised; she was a huntress, as many who followed Illyria were. She wore her dark hair swept up into a simple bun, and while she wasn’t armed, she carried herself as one who was used to living well beyond the confines of the temple, in nature.
I envied her, because her life offered her more freedom than mine was likely to ever have. It wasn’t a feeling that I enjoyed, but so much about my life felt out of my control in that moment. I knew that it wasn’t helpful, so I pushed my feelings away as best I could.
I noticed my mother watching me and I wondered if she understood how I felt; her expression seemed troubled. Maybe she knew me well enough to realise how much my thoughts nagged at me or she doubted whether I’d go through with my plans.
“You must be Astera,” the huntress said, watching me with a glimmer of curiosity. “I’m Veria. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you since your ascension to oracle was announced by the High Priestess.”
I nodded, knowing I must’ve seemed cautious or quiet, but I was still figuring out how I felt. It wasn’t my intention to be rude toward the huntress, so I tried not to be.
“I am,” I replied, lowering my gaze as I felt her studying my face. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m told that you can help me understand what my place will be after I become an oracle.”
“It’s my understanding you already are an oracle,” she said.
I nodded because in a way she was right—I could see the future to some degree, but I didn’t yet hold the position of oracle, in service to the people.
“I’m not allowed to show you inside the living quarters you’ll have, but I can tell you they’re simple but comfortable. Each oracle has several rooms of their own, and there’s a communal dining hall where you can meet and dine together. Visitors aren’t allowed, nor will you be allowed beyond the temple district.”
I sighed, because I knew that already. I wasn’t sure I should’ve agreed to join them.
I hesitated, then winced before speaking. “I’m not sure it sounds like the life for me,” I said. I instantly regretted my words, even
