‘I do not despise all Danes or Norse.’
He grinned. ‘I vow that I have not come here to pillage and take you home with me.’
The queer little flutter in her belly had no right to be there in response to the idea of being pillaged and taken home by him. It was a terrible thought, for to belong to him would make her little more than his property, but it made itself known regardless. ‘Of course you have not.’ She sniffed and laid back down to stare at the ceiling, her palm going to her belly to calm it.
‘What happened after that?’
‘My parents sent us all away, hoping to avoid disaster should the Danes return. I was sent to Wilfrid because he and my father had already been arranging a marriage with Wilfrid’s oldest son. We were betrothed with the promise that I would not wed Grim until I was older.’
‘What happened with the Danes?’ His expression had gone pensive, as if he were evaluating their actions. ‘They must have returned.’
‘The Danes returned in the spring, as expected. Jarl Eirik took over our home and my father was sent as a representative to the King. He had no choice in the matter.’
‘And what of Merewyn?’
Secretly pleased that he would concern himself with her, Annis smiled. ‘She happily married her Dane, Jarl Eirik, and they still live there, raising their children.’
‘It is becoming clearer now why Jarl Eirik would be so adamant about you marrying. You are his relation and his responsibility.’
She shrugged, not particularly interested in discussing that topic again. ‘Grim has been gone for several years now and I have managed to avoid Jarl Eirik’s decree that I marry. I imagine that I can hold him off for a while longer.’
‘Do you not want to marry again? Have children?’ The teasing in his voice had gone. This was spoken softly and without mocking.
A cold hollow opened up in her chest as it always did when she thought of Grim and her lost babe. There had been a time when she had thought of nothing more for her life than being a good wife to him and a good mother to their children. But that had changed. With Grim’s death and Wilfrid’s poor health, more of the responsibility of running not only the household, but the larger issues in Glannoventa, had fallen to her.
Two summers past, she had organised the early summer planting. Cedric had been preoccupied with a threat to their southern border and Wilfrid had only recently been seized by another attack. It had been a small thing to gather the men and convey to them a directive she had been forced to claim had come from Wilfrid himself, then to make certain the task was followed through to the end. Small as it was, it had filled her with a sense of pride and purpose. Ever since, she had been the one to receive villagers with Wilfrid in the hall every month. When his last attack had left him disfigured, it was she who continued to meet with them, conveying his wishes and resolving disputes, often without going to Wilfrid because she was capable all on her own.
Grim had been a kind and patient husband, but he would not have allowed her such freedom and autonomy had he lived. The truth was that Annis found she quite liked making her own decisions and shouldering the responsibility of her people. If she married, she was almost certain to lose that.
Rurik’s voice broke through the silence that had fallen as she pondered his question. ‘You were right. I do not know what it is like to lose a wife and a child.’ He had obviously mistaken her silence for anger, but she was too shocked to correct him. ‘I do not know why I keep reminding you of their loss.’
It was an apology of sorts. The only type she was likely to get from him, but it was no less surprising for its abruptness. She swallowed, only to find that her tongue felt thick in her mouth and her throat had closed. Instead of responding to him directly, she finally said, ‘Why have you not married yet? You must be of age.’ He was probably around the same age Jarl Eirik had been when he had wed Merewyn, making her think that his culture was similar to hers when it came to marriage.
‘I saw no great need to rush into marriage after watching what happened with my parents, and Sigurd and his wife.’
‘Perhaps you could learn from their mistakes. Do not seduce another woman after you have wed and you can avoid their difficulties.’
He laughed. ‘Wise advice.’
She smiled. ‘I am certain Sigurd’s true wife was angry with him.’
Rurik laughed, a dry yet rich sound that made her want to make him do it again. ‘She was, and angry with my brother and me for existing.’
Her smile fled as she thought of him alone and facing her wrath. ‘What happened to you after your mother died?’
A moment of silence passed during which she dared not look at him, then he said, ‘Hilda despised our presence, but there was nothing she could do. Our father welcomed us into his home and we did our best to stay out of her way.’
She tried to imagine how it must have been to be a child whose very existence was seen as an affront to the woman in charge of his care. She could hardly do it. Her parents had been often busy and rarely tender, but Annis had always felt that she belonged with them. That she belonged in her family. She also tried to imagine what it would be like to have her husband bring home his bastard children and put them under her care. She could not. Sigurd must have been a fool.
‘Did you...?’ She thought perhaps she should not ask,
