She smiles up at me and rubs my back. “Let’s get out of here.”
I grab her hand and push through the small group. “You’re all welcome to stay, but Harper and I need to take care of something. Kace was gonna order food. Beer is in the fridge and alcohol in the cabinet. We’ll be back in a little bit.”
I don’t wait for a reply or an argument. I open the front door and we leave. We get on my bike and she wraps her arms around my waist. I fucking love having her pressed up against me. Just to prolong keeping her there, I drive a little slower. She notices and laughs behind me.
Unfortunately, we get to our spot faster than I’d hoped. When she climbs off my bike, I lift her in my arms. She wraps her legs around me, giving me a soft kiss.
I walk us back by the lake and our tree. She wanted to come here for a reason and I don’t think it was to fuck. So, I sit down beside our tree and hold her against me.
It’s quiet for a while. Both of us probably lost in thoughts, but she finally clears her throat. I peek down at her and lift an eyebrow. “What’s up, babe?”
“Nothing, I just wanted time with only us,” she says, her eyes bouncing between mine.
“Anytime you want it, it’s yours.” I kiss her inviting lips and she smiles against mine.
I pull back and her smile fades. “It’s been a real shitty day, Z. I’ve got so much shit I’m carrying, I feel weighed down.”
I run my fingers through her hair and kiss her forehead. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No, but I’m gonna,” she says.
I nod, surprised at her response. “I’m here, babe.”
She gives me a small smile, reaches up and cups my face. “You always are.” I don’t say anything, I wait for her to collect her thoughts. “Your mom, Gloria, and Nora believe my father killed my mom. They said a few days before it happened, she was at the park with me, they were all there too. So were you,” she smiles.
“Together even before we can remember,” I say.
She nods. “Yeah. They said that usually my mom would just play with me and keep her distance from them. Enemies and all, but that day, they said she sat on the bench with them. They made small talk while they watched us play. They said they always felt sorry for her, even though she was married to my father. Said there was always a sadness and worry that surrounded her. After a while she got up and looked at them and told them that whatever they were thinking was probably true. They wanted to ask questions, but apparently she picked me up and left.” She looks at me with glassy eyes. “She knew she was gonna die.”
“Fuck,” I whisper and hold her tight. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” she whispers. She clears her throat and pushes back a bit to see my face. “Even at that age, your mom said you were distracting me from the conversation. She said that she often wondered if you thought something was wrong. It’s incredible, isn’t it?”
My heart is breaking in my chest, but I’ll always be strong for her. “Yeah babe, it’s really incredible.”
“Do you remember in high school when Travis Daily was trying to get in my pants?” she asks, laughing. I smile and nod my head. “You beat the shit out of him. Told him if he even looked my way again you’d bury him alive.”
“He transferred schools,” I say, chuckling.
“Yeah, I remember,” she laughs. “I also remember everything clear as day from the first time we hung out to the last night I left your bed. You were protecting me, I knew that, but it hurt. It’s part of why I left. I wanted a clean break from you and my club.”
I gently kiss her lips, resting my forehead on hers. “Even back then, I knew I loved you. I didn’t give a shit about the clubs, they didn’t matter. I just wanted you. The older we got, the more I knew I had to protect you.” I close my eyes and sink my fingers into her hair. “But I didn’t.”
“Hey, look at me,” she demands. I open my eyes and she puts both hands on my cheeks, keeping me in place. “You did protect me and I protected myself. I did what I needed to do to stay alive. Just like you’ve done things to protect yourself. None of this is your fault, nothing.” She kisses me quickly, keeping her mouth next to mine. “You saved me.”
I want to throw her down, fuck her, and show her how she’s saved me too. I don’t though, because I think she’s got more to say.
“These last few weeks have been the happiest of my life. Which is saying a lot considering the awful shit that’s happened.” She tries to smile, but I see the tears in her deep blue eyes. “It’s you, Zane, you are the reason. You’re the only person who’s ever cared for me, protected me, loved me.”
“Babe,” I say, holding her hair tighter. I can’t find the words, but I feel like she’s saying goodbye.
“Promise me something,” she continues, ignoring me.
“Anything.”
She smiles and her eyes are piercing through me. “You will always know that as hard as you love me, I love you more.”
“Impossible,” I whisper.
“You promised,” she says back.
I don’t say the words because there is no way it’s true, but I nod. “Babe, are you trying to tell me something?”
She throws her head back and laughs. I lift an eyebrow in confusion. “I thought I was
