“Then why didn’t you let Hannah shoot me?”
“Because Jackie cared about you, lad. Killing you isn’t what she would have wanted.”
“I liked her,” said Nathan, which angered Ted enough to turn around finally, but when he saw Nathan’s teary eyes, he refrained from further action. “I liked her,” he said again. “I wish she were still here.”
“But she’s not. You shot her dead, Nathan.”
“Kill me.”
Ted frowned. “What?”
“Kill me, please. I don’t want to keep doing this. I don’t want to keep being me. You should have killed me, so do it now.”
“I won’t kill you, Nathan.” Not yet.
Nathan stood from the bed. “Then I’ll hurt someone else. First chance I get, I’ll kill someone. Just like I killed Jackie.”
Ted felt his hands ball into fists. He bit his lip and forced his rage back down into his guts. “If you don’t like who you are, Nathan, then be somebody else. Keep your mouth shut and stay put until we decide what to do with you. Maybe you’ll get your wish.”
Ted stormed out of the room and barred it from the other side, ignoring the sound of Nathan’s fists beating against the wood. Was the kid truly suicidal, or just murderous and insane? He decided it wasn’t something he had an answer to right that minute, so he went back up the hill to the castle.
Dr Kamiyo was preparing to leave this morning.
Ted found Kamiyo, like Hannah days earlier, standing at the portcullis. Philip and Aymun stood with him, and all three men had large camping rucksacks on their back. Philip carried a spear while Kamiyo had an old iron poker taken from one of the castle’s hearths. Aymun was unarmed.
Frank was there too, shaking hands with the men and wishing them well. Hannah and Steve were in the winch room overhead, waiting to raise the gate. Both shouted ‘good luck.’ As usual, the children and teenagers huddled in their respective cliques. Milly stood alone as she so often did. Ted went up to her, and when she saw him she smiled.
“Is Nathan okay?” she asked.
Ted nodded. “Yes, are you?” She nodded but didn’t look like she was okay. She looked sad in the way only a young child could. Ted patted her head.
“You’re upset about Jackie?”
Milly nodded silently.
Ted knelt down, putting a hand on her shoulder. “She’s not really gone, you know? There’s a place we all go when we die. A better place. She’s up there watching us right now. Whenever you miss Jackie, just look up at the sky and smile. She’ll smile right back at you.”
“She’s in Heaven?” Milly said the word tentatively, like she thought she might get told off for speaking the words. “Heaven isn’t real.”
“Who told you that?”
“Reece.”
Ted laughed. “Well, that’s funny because Reece is in Heaven too. You see, no one knew for sure back before the monsters came, but now we do. The monsters came from a bad place, but there’s a good place we all go that is safe and peaceful. Jackie and Reece, and everyone else, are there.”
“Then I want to go there too.”
“You will one day, Milly, but not until you’re old and grey. I know it’s scary here, but you can’t go to the good place until it’s your time. Until then, you have to be brave and strong so that those already in the good place can be proud of you. Okay?”
Milly nodded.
Ted straightened up and left her. He felt a little fraudulent speaking to a child about Heaven, but he believed his own logic. If demons came from Hell, then there had to be a Heaven. There just had to be.
Either that or there’s just one Hell after another.
There were some things Ted wanted for the camp, and he wanted to go tell Kamiyo before he left. Nothing exotic, just things like sealant, hinges, and other small items that would come in handy. None of it was vital, but he gave Kamiyo a list anyway.
Kamiyo took it with a smile. “I’ll get whatever I can find.”
“Where are you planning to go?” Ted asked.
“We’ll follow the main roads until we find a supermarket. If it has a pharmacy, we can get food and medicine in one place. You going to be okay here in the meantime?” Kamiyo looked at Ted with concern. It seemed like everyone was worried how he would react after Jackie’s death. They kept waiting for him to explode.
Ted shrugged. “I have Steven and Hannah to help hold down the fort. Carol and Frank are looking after the kids. We’ll be fine. Before we know it, the teenagers will be running things without us.”
“Ha, yeah, I think you’re right. Let’s hope they don’t put us out to pasture.”
“Good luck out there, Doc. And be careful.” Ted side-eyed Aymun and Philip. He had obvious reasons for not trusting Aymun, but he also worried about Philip too. The grieving father was emotional and angry, and he made no secret of his hatred for Kamiyo. “There’s more than demons that can hurt you.”
Kamiyo gave a subtle enough nod to let Ted know he understood. “You’re right, I know, but I still have to believe the best in people. We’ll be back, safe and sound, I promise.”
“Then bring back some whiskey, and we’ll have a drink.” They shook hands, and the portcullis rose. There was a good chance no one would see Philip, Aymun, or Kamiyo again.
36
DR KAMIYO
Kamiyo and his companions had walked for an hour through the forest and anticipated another thirty minutes more until they found its end. It made Kamiyo wonder how people used to put up with the walk to the activity centre back in the days when few people enjoyed walking farther than the end of their driveway. He supposed he had answered his own question, though, and that the people who would visit an outdoor activity centre were the people who would enjoy the ninety-minute walk to get there. Kamiyo looked forward to the days when people would
