She laughed, the sound making a seagull take flight from a piling. “To tell the truth, when the demons first invaded, I was a trembling mess. People kept dying around me, but somehow I kept surviving. For a while, I thought it was luck, but then I realised it was something else.”
Tom smiled gently, his brow lowering with concern. “What?”
“I was being punished, forced to watch everyone die while I cowered. They got to escape the nightmare, but my own hell kept getting worse and worse. Surviving is my punishment.”
“You make dying sound like a good thing.”
“Not good, but… easier. My fear got people killed, so I gave myself a talking to. I stopped being a pussy and got my shit together.” They both chuckled, but Diane’s smile quickly faded. “The problem is that people still keep dying, no matter what I do. They keep dying and I keep surviving. It’s filling me up, all this… anger.”
Tom put a hand on her back and rubbed. He removed it a second later but didn’t appear embarrassed. “People have always been dying, Diane. That’s what makes us human. What matters is how much we fight while we’re alive – and you’re fighting harder than anybody else – but be careful, okay? What you’re doing is dangerous.”
“I’m not doing it alone. Everyone who agrees to help me is risking their lives.”
“Then you must be worth the risk.”
They reached the end of the quay, an area occupied by several empty warehouses. Portsmouth was a big city with only a fraction of its former residents, not to mention the many people who now lived on boats instead of dry land. There was a lot of wasted real estate. Coming to a halt, Diane turned to Tom. “Are you sure you want to do this? It could all end terribly.”
He smiled. “Do you know why I joined the navy? It wasn’t to fight bad guys or be a patriot. I just didn’t want to work in a supermarket or factory. I never took the job any more seriously than I had to. But then things changed. The demons came and suddenly I was watching civilians leap into the sea and drown rather than face the horror at their back. I watched mothers throw their children from burning buildings, fathers torn apart trying to defend their families. We helped as many as we could, but by the time our ship retreated, the sea was red with blood. After that, I took the job seriously. Mankind doesn’t just have to survive, Diane. If it has any future at all, it needs to survive with the right people in charge. Thomas has to go, and if whoever takes over is half as decent as Wickstaff, we might have a chance. We’ll make it happen, Diane. No matter what, okay? We’ll make the bastard pay.”
Diane shook her head, not out of disappointment but out of shocked admiration. “How can you be so sure this is the right thing to do? How can you be so sure about me?”
Tom averted his eyes and looked down at his feet. It was cute, but only because he was normally so confident. “Wickstaff was sure about you, Diane. You and Maddy were the two people she trusted most, and if she trusted you, then so do I. Not to mention, you’re pretty intimidating. The guys say you have the biggest pair of bollocks in Portsmouth.”
It shocked Diane to hear that people talked about her. She had assumed herself invisible. It was part of what made her so effective as a bodyguard, until she had failed dismally by allowing Wickstaff’s murder. She placed her hands on her hips and felt a little pissed off. “You think I have a pair of bollocks?”
Tom blushed. “What? No! Not literally. You’re all woman. I mean… look at you…”
Diane glared a moment longer, but her irritation had already disappeared. Now she was just having fun. It wasn’t the first time she’d spoken with Tom, but with Maddy and Wickstaff gone, she realised how much she missed having someone to joke around with. By agreeing to help, Tom had become her friend. There was trust between them.
I can trust him.
Diane reached out and clutched the front of Tom’s shirt. She walked backwards, pulling him along with her. “I’ll show you what’s between my legs, and I promise it’s not a pair of bollocks. Come on.”
Tom turned bright red and his eyes went comically wide. It didn’t stop him from following her into the abandoned warehouse.
Morning broke and Diane awoke with a smile on her face and an aching in her back. The aching was caused by the rickety cot bed she had slept on in a small office inside one of the civilian customs buildings. The smile on her face was due to having had sex last night. Rain had come to the desert.
Hallelujah!
Tom was lovely. A spark had hit her out of nowhere and suddenly she was into him, a teenager with a crush. She wasn’t embarrassed though. Tom was an upfront kind of guy, which meant she was in no doubt about the fact that he liked her too. There were no games being played. It was okay to be vulnerable. At least a little.
Last night, they had hung out in the abandoned warehouse for three hours, having sex, chatting, laughing, and kissing, both of them naked and shivering. For a moment, life had felt ordinary, but in the dawn of a new day, things weren’t quite so bright. She was still a member of a post-apocalyptic society with a despot in charge. Despite that, she’d formed a connection with another human being, and it meant she could open her heart to more than hate and anger. It was enough to keep the rage from overtaking her completely.
I can keep a little piece of myself for Tom. I can feel something other than a need for revenge.
Diane couldn’t let herself be distracted too much by lust
