“It would be so sad if I was the only one she didn’t get along with.”
“God, you... Bah, fine.” Hikaru-san heaved himself up off the couch and went over to Cerise. It looked like maybe he was interested in holding Man’ya in spite of his protestations. “Just be sure you get her back right away if she latches onto me,” he said, then slowly, carefully reached out toward the baby.
We all watched with bated breath. And Man’ya...
She climbed politely into Hikaru-san’s arms. More than politely, in fact. She practically seemed to be nuzzling up to him.
Hikaru-san’s expression softened. It’s a good feeling to have something small and cute warm up to you. Supporting Man’ya with his left arm, he stroked her head with his right hand. No sign of biting anywhere.
“Gyu,” she said. She sounded downright affectionate.
“But why?!” I wailed. “Why only me?!” How could the difference between us be so stark?!
It wasn’t fair! What had I ever done to her? I mean, besides poking her with a broom when we first met.
Did she hate me? Was I the object of hatred?!
“Maybe she just doesn’t realize you’re a guy, Hikaru-san!”
“I can’t say that’s impossible, but...” Hikaru-san looked thoughtful. “You think maybe it could actually be a kind of imprinting?”
“Buh?”
“Or maybe she just sees you as beneath her, Shinichi-san.” Hikaru-san passed Man’ya back to Myusel as he talked.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you know. Predators attack animals that look weak to them, right?”
“That’s ridiculous!”
Even if I did admit that two weeks as a shut-in had left me without much confidence in my muscles!
“I can’t speak to the lizardman life cycle, but maybe she remembers you’re the first thing she ever bit, and now she thinks of you as food.”
“That’s the worst kind of imprinting I’ve ever heard of!”
I thought imprinting was supposed to be when baby animals assumed the first thing they saw was their mother—something cute like that, right?! What was this law-of-the-jungle stuff?!
“How was it for us?” Cerise said.
“’Fraid I can’t recall...” Brooke replied. I guess they wouldn’t; it was immediately after they were born.
Unlike mammals, which fed their young with milk, lizardman babies didn’t get liquid sustenance from their parents. They had to be able to feed themselves the moment they hatched. Considering how many reptiles simply left their eggs to fend for themselves, a hunting instinct made sense. It just happened to cause her to hunt me.
So, wait.
Did that make me Man’ya’s first prey? Like maybe if I were fighting with someone and losing badly, she would step in and save my skin with a “Hold it. He’s my prey”? Was this a tsundere thing? No, no it wasn’t. (Fantasies inspired by far too much agitation.)
“I can’t believe this...” I hung my head, virtually overwhelmed by the outrageousness of the situation. A wave of Man’ya moe was washing over Amutech, and I was the only one who couldn’t share in it. How lonely, to be an outcast.
“Is that really how you feel...?” Myusel asked Man’ya doubtfully. “Gyu!” she replied, tossing her tiny hands in the air as if to make very clear that yes, yes it was.
Breathing as quietly as possible, I gazed at Man’ya from the shadows. Did I look like a total creeper stalking some kid? Yeah, pretty much. I was no Hikaru-san, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that an incident was going to occur even if I didn’t do anything.
“Gyu.”
Man’ya was playing by herself in the yard. I was the only one around; everyone else was busy with work. Apparently, lizardman parenting was pretty laissez-faire, hence why Man’ya was wandering around unsupervised. They seemed to figure that as long as she didn’t go off the property, there really wasn’t anything to threaten her. Like an errant carriage that might run her over, for example.
Man’ya seemed like a cheery baby for the most part. She pulled up some grass here, dug a little hole there, chased after some bugs, going happily from one object of interest to another.
“Gyu?”
Suddenly, though, she seemed to sense that she was being watched. She tilted her head quizzically. I walked out from the shadow of the tree I’d been hiding by and approached her slowly. She watched me steadily, not moving. She just kept those big, round eyes focused on me.
“Heh...” I started to smile. Hikaru-san’s theory was that Man’ya saw me as weak, an inferior form of life, and therefore as prey. I knew how smart lizardmen were, though, and I reasoned that if I could just convince Man’ya that I was actually bigger and stronger than she was, she would reclassify me in her mental catalog.
Now, I wasn’t planning anything crazy. I wasn’t going to attack the kid or something. I just had to show off some kind of abilities that would make her think, “Whoa, this Shinichi-san isn’t half bad!”
And to that end...
“Heh heh heh heh...” I chuckled, producing a hastily assembled “mu ren,” a wooden training dummy. You know the type. The vaguely humanoid wooden posts that Shaolin monks are always using for training in movies? It had a weight at the “waist,” so even if it leaned a little from a good smack, it would come back upright.
“Gyu?”
Man’ya looked at me and the dummy curiously, as if to say, What’s that? I set up the post, took a couple steps back, and assumed a fighting stance. And then...
“Hwacha!”
One good punch. Right smack in the dummy’s face, sending it wobbling. Perfect. Great start.
“Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyahhhhhhhhh!” I followed up with a flurry of quick punches.
It’s the Most Secret Technique of Article 9 of the Japanese Constitution of Kicking Ass!! Offense is the Best Defense Fist!! (Came up with this name on the spot.)
The dummy swung back and forth under the fury of my blows.
“Now I’ll finish you!” I exclaimed, coming around for a showy roundhouse kick. “Taaaake this!”
Sheer centrifugal force slammed the dummy back. Then it must have gotten caught in some branches of the nearby bush or something, because it stopped cold at
