It no longer felt like we were on the brink of extinction. It no longer felt like we were just surviving. Now, we had a real chance to win this. Feeling restless, I decided to make a perimeter check. I took Austin and Seth with me. We jumped on our bikes and rode the perimeter, checking in with the men posted around the compound. When I was satisfied by what I saw, we returned to the clubhouse. I decided to get some shut-eye since the attacks seemed to happen more frequently in the night, and I needed to be awake and alert.
When I woke again, it was late afternoon. I got something from the kitchen to settle my stomach and then checked in with Austin and Seth, but they had nothing new to report. Kara was still with Eric, and the Prez of the Crypt Keepers was keeping us informed about that and would escort her home when she was ready.
I hoped the guy survived.
I sat at the head of the table. There had been two seats placed there. I propped my feet up on the table, leaned back in my chair, and cradled my head in my hands. My thoughts turned to Kara. I still wasn’t ready to admit to anyone that I had feelings for her, but I found when I had time to let my mind wander, it tended to wander to thoughts about her. Would it really be the end of the world to make her my Ol’ Lady? Could I really be that guy? Was I ready to be that guy?
And with her of all people?
She was a handful. We would fight all the damn time. And over the years, the passion we had, the lust, it would fade, and then what would we have?
The love of the ride. The love of the MC. And maybe I could learn to love her too, for real. And maybe we didn't have to follow some mold. We could do and be what worked for us. It wasn’t like I could imagine her barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen the way Reagen would be for Seth. That wasn’t Kara. If I didn't try to change her, maybe she wouldn't change me too much either.
But that was all in a perfect world in my head. One that didn’t exist. And none of it involved her falling for the Crypt Keepers’ Enforcer.
“You seem to be lost in thought,” Austin said, taking his seat at the table. “Here’s the list you asked for.”
“Oh right. Let me see it.” I dropped my feet, shook away all thoughts of Kara, and turned back to my work.
“I circled the dates that matched up with what the boy said. There’s one name that kept popping up.”
“Have Seth find him and put him downstairs. When Kara gets back, she and I will speak to him. With Seth’s help, we’ll find out what’s been going on.”
“You got it. Think we have another traitor?”
“I hope not. Better get the dogs ready in case we do. I’m serious— any traitor found will be cut open and fed to the dogs. It’s a messy business and I hate doing it, but I hate traitors even more.”
“I hear that.” Austin got up to do my bidding. He was loyal and wasn’t afraid to do what had to be done to keep order. I knew I had chosen well for my second in command, and I was glad when Kara didn’t change that. She hadn’t really bothered shaking anything up since she had become Prez, and I liked that. She noticed I had things under control and didn’t bother messing with what worked. She really did have a head for this. I had judged her so unfairly. Now, I just had to figure out what my feelings for her really were.
Why was this so hard? I had wet dreams about her every night. Why had I been an idiot and turned her away? Why had I chosen Harley over her? Would she ever forgive me? Would she try again? Had I blown it?
I leaned my head in my hands.
“Seth is waiting for you and Kara,” Austin said. “The dogs are all set to be released should you have the need.”
“Great. We’ll deal with it as soon as Kara gets back.”
“Where’d she go?”
“To see Eric at the hospital.”
“Ah!” Austin sat back down.
“Do you really think Kara and I would make a good match?” I asked, propping my feet back on the table and leaning back in my chair.
“Yeah, I really do.” He grinned. “I think you think so too, but you’re just too stubborn to admit it to yourself.”
“You know me too well.” I frowned.
“Yes. Yes, I do,” he laughed.
“Want a beer while we wait?”
“Yeah. One won’t hurt.” He got up and retrieved two beers, popped the caps off, and handed one to me. We clinked and took a drink.
“I was really hoping this shit wouldn’t go down.”
“I know, and you and Kara tried to put it out peacefully, but shit happens. We just have to deal with it when it does.”
I pondered over what he said as I sipped on my beer while we waited for Kara. She was sure taking her sweet ass time there, but I wasn’t about to interrupt her visit. For all I knew, she was still waiting in the waiting room to see him. Doctors only liked dealing with family, and I knew Kara wouldn’t qualify. That made me wonder if Eric had family outside the club. I figured that was something his Prez would know and be able to handle, so I didn’t really have to worry about that. I was just thinking on Kara’s behalf.
Not sure why I was doing that, but I found myself
