I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and decide to go for it. “Do you think…I mean, I’m sure you’re busy, but do you think you could tutor me?”
It takes several seconds of uncomfortable silence before he speaks. “I think we have tutors available. I’m not sure who they are or their schedules, but I can find out.”
I hike the strap of my bag higher onto my shoulder. “Oh okay. Thanks.” I’m sure the disappointment is obvious. I mean, who better to teach you than your teacher?
“Like I said on the first day of class, I have office hours, but there are times when multiple students show up, needing different things.”
“That’s okay.”
Before I can get a few steps away, his voice stops me. “I’ll help you. Just let me know what your days off are.”
I spin around, a huge smile on my face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I owe you one.”
“You don’t. It’s my job.”
“My next day off is Sunday. When and where do you wanna meet?”
“I’ll get back to you.”
He studies his computer, easily dismissing me, but I can’t help but leave with a little pep in my step.
13
What the fuck was I thinking? Oh wait, I wasn’t. No, scratch that. I definitely was thinking, but I was thinking about the wrong fucking thing. I wanted to be alone with Nova. I wanted extra time with her.
And now I have to find somewhere we can study. My initial thought was the school library, but if other professors see me studying with a student—a female student at that, one-on-one, and outside my usual office hours, eyebrows will be raised, and I don’t need that kind of scrutiny. Typically professors don’t tutor their students like this. But of course I just had to open my mouth and offer to help her.
She just looked so sad. And she does need help. It’s not her fault, nor mine, that her schedule doesn’t allow her to join the study groups. But truth be told, those are full of students who know what they’re doing, and I think Nova needs a lot of help.
I’m only doing my job. There’s nothing wrong with helping a student pass.
“Hey, E!”
I come out of the den and see Royce walking in the front door. “Hey. What’s going on?”
“Not much. Just stopping by to drop off your dishes. London says to tell you thanks for letting her take the leftovers home on Sunday.”
“Not a problem.” I follow him to the kitchen where he places the casserole dishes on the island. “And I know it’s kinda early, but we’re gonna have a Halloween costume party at the bar this year. London and Midge’s idea.”
I grin. “They love their parties.”
He shrugs. “I can’t tell her no. So, we’re gonna start promoting that next week. Nothing crazy. People will be encouraged to come in a costume, and there will be prizes, and Halloween themed drinks.”
“Sounds fun.”
“Yeah, so get a costume, because you’re not getting out of this.”
I groan and rub the space between my eyebrows. “I don’t dress up.”
“Well, you will this year.” He hops onto the counter. “So, what’s up? You look tired and stressed.”
“Thanks.”
He laughs. “Sorry.”
“I’m fine.” I take a few seconds to decide if I should tell him my problem or not. It’s not like I’m afraid he’s going to run to the school and say anything, but I guess I’m just used to taking care of shit myself. “I have to tutor a student.”
“Oh. Do you normally do that?”
I tilt my head back and forth, leaning my hip on the counter. “Not really. I mean, I make myself available if they need help. I never want them to fail, but I don’t typically hold tutoring sessions.”
“So, you just took on some extra work? Well, I can see how that’s stressful. Shit, I still don’t understand calculus. I mean, why do letters and numbers have to go together anyway?”
I shake my head at him, smiling. “Yeah, well.” I don’t bother finishing. For some reason, my mouth won’t form the words I want to say.
Am I embarrassed to be attracted to a student? Is that what this is? Or maybe it’s just the age difference in general. If I met her in any other situation, I’d probably still pause over the age gap. I’m not sure how old she is, but I definitely have over ten years on her.
“The problem is,” I start, ready to admit to Royce that I’m attracted to this woman…this student I’m about to tutor, but instead, I say, “I don’t know where to do the tutoring. If I do it on campus, students and staff will think that’s a regular occurrence, or may think I’m playing favorites.”
Royce shrugs. “So, tell him to come here.”
The thought of Nova walking around in my house spikes my heartrate a little bit. I immediately think back to the night she was here, and what her naked body looked like on my bed, and what her skin felt like against mine, and how tight and wet she was. Good God, that’s not a good idea.
“I’ll think of something,” I say.
Royce jumps down. “Well, good luck. I’ll see ya Sunday night. Whatcha makin’?”
“I’m not sure yet. I’ll let you know.”
“Cool. Love you, bro,” he says, walking to the door.
“Love you, too.”
As I go back to the den, Sugarfoot—the dog my ex left behind when she left me—falls into step. When I’m on the couch, he jumps up next to me and drops his golden head to my lap.
“Hey, boy,” I say, scratching between his ears.
I thought me and Jenn were going to get married. She wanted Sugarfoot to be the ring bearer, and as ridiculous as I thought that would be, I was down for it because she wanted it to happen.
When she left, it was the second hardest thing I had to go through. I thought she was such a cold-hearted bitch for leaving her dog
