Nothing.
“I was hoping we could talk.”
My heart starts to pick up its pace, and I’m suddenly reminded of all the years I thought I was a latent. How horrible it felt to have my animal trapped inside of me with no way to get out. I felt incomplete, like I was defective. I was only a shard of what I could have been, and knowing that was devastating and felt completely wrong.
And now here I’ve gone and shut her off deliberately. More guilt pools in my gut. I don’t want Pigeon, or me, to ever feel that way again. But all I sense right now is the heavy, shame-riddled beat of my heart.
Did I hurt her?
Fuck...could she be lost again, like she was before?
I push into the vault inside of me with a shout. “Pigeon, I’m sorry. Please come out!”
Lavender eagle eyes blink to life in the distant darkness, and relief washes through me. Pigeon’s features are barely discernible, cloaked in the shadows of the dark place I’ve exiled her to. She cringes against the light pouring in from the open vault door behind me, and I feel her rage and desolation surge.
“I’m sorry,” I offer again in defense of the hurt and rage I suddenly feel rippling off of her, but it’s not enough, my words feel inadequate to even me.
The nothingness of where I’ve banished her to wraps around me like cold chains. Mistrust, dishonor, fury, abandonment, all make up the texture of this place, and I wish all at once that I could yank these things from the fabric of Pigeon’s and my foundation and build on more loving and understanding solid ground.
Tears prick my eyes. “Pigeon, I—” My words and heartfelt sentiment are shoved back down my throat when she attacks out of nowhere. Quicker than a striking snake, she slams into me with brutal force. Shocked, I scream and fall back. I land on one hand as I try to catch my fall and throw the other palm out to try and protect myself.
The light in this place dims oddly, and I look up expecting Pigeon to be lording over me, like I did her when I shoved her in here. She’s not there. I search for her, ready to fling apologies until one hits its mark, but all I see is the light of the door into this vault growing smaller and smaller. By the time I realize what’s happened, it’s too late.
“Pigeon!” I scream, panicked, springing to my feet and running for her.
The light is only two feet wide now.
“Pigeon, don’t do this! Listen to me, we need each other!” I shout at her as I race to try to escape the brutal trap that I created for her.
“Please, I’m sorry!” I beg as the light reduces to a mere sliver.
“I need you,” I plead, but it’s too late. My words fall on deaf ears as I slam into the shut vault door where I’m forced to listen to Pigeon locking it from the other side.
“No!” I scream as I bang on the prison walls. “This isn’t going to fix anything!” I shout at her, but I don’t even know if she’s there listening anymore.
A cold darkness slithers around me, and I kick at the bleakness, refusing to accept that this is what Pigeon and I have been reduced to. We have to be more than just two warring sides, but how the fuck do we get across the canyon of distrust and pain now sitting between us?
“Pigeon!” I wail as my fists slam against the cool metal of the vault I’m now trapped in. “I love you, don’t do this!” I implore, but my cries are only met with deafening silence.
Out of nowhere, I’m hit with a fuck ton of sensations and pain all at the same time. It takes me a minute to collect my thoughts and understand what’s happening. I can feel my body ripping apart and reshaping, and yet I have no control over it. I’ve—we’ve just shifted.
Worry takes over my thoughts. What will she do? Will she freak out and try to escape, getting us all caught? Will the guys stop fighting long enough to calm her down? I can feel her rage pumping through our veins, and the last thing any of us needs to be dealing with right now is a psychotic, volatile gryphon.
I try to believe that seeing her mates all together will be enough to soothe her, but that will only stay that way if they all keep their mouths shut and put her before their issues.
Fuck, that’s never going to happen.
I pound on the walls of the vault and scream until my voice is hoarse. She doesn’t know what she’s walking into with her mates. She tried to rip Ryn apart the last time he pissed her off; will she do the same thing now? Can she, with our mate connection, I wonder and then realize she might not care what it does to us.
My voice quits altogether, and I can feel blood dripping off my knuckles from where I’m banging on my cell wall. Defeat filters through me, and I press my forehead to the cool wall and try to breathe through the shame and frustration I’m treading in.
“Fuck,” I whisper, lost against the cold barriers caging me in, and the word bounces back against my lips like this place wants me to choke on it.
I close my eyes and shake my head at myself. I should be pissed, but all I can think about is how long did Pigeon scream? How long before her voice gave out? How could I have done that to her?
I’m such an asshole.
Pushing away the guilt that’s thrashing inside of me, I try to focus on how the fuck I’m going to get myself out of this, because I have to get out of this. I have no doubt that, with the way Pigeon is feeling right now, she’s going to lock me in here
