He sags against the wall, defeat written all over his face. “But you need to be selfish.” Luca can’t even look at me as he says it.
“I don’t deserve you.” Walking over, I kiss his cheek, but he reaches out and grabs my hand. “That’s it? You’re just going to walk out and never come back?”
I’m hurting him so much right now, but this is about me, not him. About my needs and my wants.
“I’m sorry, Luca.” Tears begin to fall rapidly down my cheeks, but I’m resolute in my actions.
“Go, Lilly. I’m sick of being the only one who’s fighting for us.”
My shoulders roll in on each other. “I really am sorry, Luca.”
He simply shakes his head.
As I walk away, they are some of the most painfully slow steps I have ever walked in my life.
23
Lilly
Déjà vu. Here I am in my cottage crying into my duvet over a man. It was the hardest thing in the world to walk away from Luca in that moment. I know I broke his heart. Damn principles and shit.
I’m counting down the days until Lauren arrives back from Africa. They were supposed to be gone for a month, but they had so much fun, they extended it by an extra couple of weeks. It feels like it has been a lifetime since I’ve come back home.
Mom and Dad are still not talking to me.
Rob seems to have gotten the hint and left me alone—that’s a good thing.
I stare down at my phone, and even Luca has stopped checking in on me.
Flopping back onto my bed, I stare at the ceiling waiting for some kind of sign that I did the right thing.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The sound of someone at my front door has me sitting up in my bed.
Who the hell is at my door?
Is it Luca?
Did he fly halfway across Europe to declare is love for me again? If it is, I’m so going to say yes. I miss him way too much to be apart. Excitedly, I jump out of bed and rush to the door with my phone in my hand.
Open it up, I freeze.
My eyes blink a couple of times. Goddamn, this has to be a nightmare. My phone falls on the floor with a thud.
“It’s been a while.” Rob smiles at me. Is he serious? What the hell? “It’s freezing out here, Lil. Can I come in?”
There are white fluffy flecks swirling around him. Fine.
Opening the door further, he steps inside and shakes off the frozen flecks, then shucks off his coat and hangs it up.
“Don’t get too comfortable, you won’t be staying long.” I usher him into the living room where he can warm up by the fire. Hurt falls across his face at my barb. “Would you like coffee?”
“Yes, please.” As he warms his hands in front of the fireplace, I busy myself in the kitchen. I grab a mug out of the cupboard and heap a couple of spoons full of instant coffee into it. A memory flutters through my subconscious remembering how much Luca hates instant coffee.
“What are you smiling at?” Rob’s voice catches me off guard, just seeing Luca again in my mind makes me smile. “I knew you’d be happy to see me.”
Yeah, right! Rob thinks I’m happy to see him. Delusional much? He strides into the kitchen.
“I’m not happy to see you, Rob.”
His steps pause for a moment. “Lilly?”
The whistle of the kettle grabs my attention. Picking it up off its stand, I pour the hot water into the mug, then grab the milk.
“You still remember how I like my coffee.”
Huh? Looking down at the coffee, I realize out of habit I’ve made him his coffee the exact way he likes it, and he’s taking that as some sort of sign. Whatever! So, I demand, “Why are you here, Rob?”
He takes the mug and holds it between his hands. “I think we need to talk.”
“No, we don’t.” I cross my arms over my chest.
“Your parents pulled some strings.” Ah, of course, they did. “I have one week’s leave.”
“And where are you going for that?” Because like hell he is staying here.
“Um…” His green eyes widen as he looks around the room.
“No way in this world. Ever!” I slam my hand down on the counter. “You can get on the next plane to who knows where, but you’re not staying here.”
“Lilly Pilly.” His horrible nickname for me instantly makes me gag. “We need to work out this misunderstanding.”
“There’s no damn misunderstanding, Rob. You fucked every single available woman at our camp.” Is this man a complete moron?
“And yet, you had someone in your bed not that long ago.” I remember his phone call when Luca ripped him a new one, but it has nothing to do with his infidelity.
“I’m single, Rob. I can do what I want.” Crossing my arms again, I continue, “Unlike you who was messing about on your fiancée right in front of her eyes.”
“It was just sex, Lilly. Goddammit. What don’t you get?” His raised voice stuns me for a second or two.
“Then, why don’t you go back and just have sex?.” I point to the front door.
“Because you’ll make a good wife.”
“You want a shiny trophy wife on your arm. Is that what you want, Rob?”
The bastard has the audacity to roll his eyes at me.
“What has gotten into you, Lilly? You were never this combative.”
“That’s because I finally grew some balls, and I’m sticking up for myself.”
His lip curls up at my words. “You know this…” he waves his hands in the air, “… is very undignified. Your parents would be most upset.”
“Hear me and hear me good… I do not give a single fuck.”
Watching Rob’s face pale at my words gives me butterflies, something he’s never been able to produce before.
My phone starts ringing. Rushing around the kitchen counter, I
